Ooh!

I have finally found a TF2 custom map that sounds so awesome that I'm dying to actually play on it. CP Steel. I saw the introduction video for it a couple of weeks ago and it picked my interest immediately, and now Chris of 1fort did a review of it and I'm going DO WANT.
Once again I might have to venture away from my safe, familiar servers, I'm really wanting to play on Steel. Or at least try it and decide if I like it or is all the hype just a load of bull.
And it might do me good either way, I'm finding myself playing on the 24/7 Gold Rush/Dustbowl server almost all the time or hopping from one server to another depending on when Hydro, Gold Rush or Dustbowl comes around.
So sick of all the other maps, you know the drill.

Don't really have anything else to post for now. A friend asked me (in a comment to one of my earlier posts) to list all the TF2 classes and their pros and cons and I'M WORKING ON IT. Haha. I tried to reply in a comment, found myself being as verbose as usual and decided to do a proper list and post it in a real entry, so I'm posting that once I'm done with it.

And I'm still pissed off about the goddamn Specialist. I've been mainly playing as Medic after last Friday, striving to actually GET IT, and while I did come pretty close to it a few times (I've been staring at my health healed points like a nutjob), I still haven't actually reached it.
Probably never will, the poor pessimistic soul that I am.
Also, I have ONCE AGAIN been on top of the scoreboard with 80-or-so points and feeling that I'm an absolutely appalling Medic. OH WOE. Can I never be good enough for me?

FFFFFF.

Oh god what.

So, I was taking a little break from TF2, and when I returned to my usual few-hours-a-night schedule, I found myself sucking. Quite horribly.
Until tonight. Christ. For the record, I've been drinking again. Decided to play a bit, because you've probably noticed how I have almost a habit of getting wasted and then wasting the entire evening just fragging people and being amused at how I'm not that bad of a player when I'm drunk (and yes, I am very aware of the fact that I am indeed a gigantic nerd and have no life).
So yeah, I was playing as Heavy on Gold Rush and being once again surprisingly good at it (especially after last night's failfest. I don't wanna talk about it).

But then I switched servers and found myself on Dustbowl. Stage Two. RED. First point had been capped, so my team had already fell back to the last point. I went Medic, seeing that they didn't have any Medics, and started healing.

Result?

1. Within two minutes I was on top of the scoreboard, above all the players who had been on the server before me.

2. Intern. 500 FUCKING HP AWAY FROM SPECIALIST FFFFF I'M PISSED (Most health healed record is now 9,498 FFFFF I STILL GET PISSED OFF WHEN I LOOK AT IT. SO CLOSE. SO. CLOSE).

3. And most points record, 24, whoo!

And the best (/most fucked-up) part? At some point after I had launched my second über I started getting 1-5 fps. I'm not shitting you. I was getting some serious lag and I don't know if it was the server or my connection. And still I managed to get two more übers and stay alive until BLU capped the point.
I stuck around for a few minutes on third stage, but at that point the lag was getting so ridiculous I had to stop. Much to my chagrin. Stupid lag, I was doing so good!
And at that point half the team was going Medic and stealing my Heavy, so it was completely my cue to leave. What the hell is it with those people: no one wants to be a Medic in the previous round, then I jump in and dominate the scoreboard and then everyone else wants to be Medic too?
I completely understood when few people went Medic after I went all "LOL GUYS I'M GETTING LIKE 1 FPS MAYBE I SHOULD STOP" in chat, though. But I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse.

And here, scoreboard at the start of stage three:



But yeah, it's nice to know that I'm still a fucking kickass Medic even when slightly drunk and with the lowest framerate possible. HA HA HA I really hope that won't happen ever again. I was insane to stick around after I started lagging.

This is madness!

Oh my god I'm about to write about other games than Team Fortress 2!

Haven't even been playing lots of TF2 lately. I'm getting really fed up with my poor framerate because playing Heavy is nigh impossible with fps that sometimes drops close to 10 in intense firefights. I have no chance against circlestrafers. And because I'm really liking playing as Heavy now since I finally learned how to, I find it extremely annoying to always get my butt handed to me by a freaking Scout running circles around me or even an average circlestrafe-attempting Pyro. The framerate's never bothered me this much before, but I've never before played as Heavy, so. And maybe that's why Pyros kill me so thoroughly when I'm Soldier! That could be it!
And as it turns out my computer doesn't have a PCI-E port, and I had to kiss goodbye to that GeForce 8800 I've been making grabby hands at. So I have to either buy a new goddamn computer or suffer the poor framerate. And since I got my computer only year and a half ago I'm not too thrilled to get a new one already. If I had known I'd actually start gaming on PC more than casually (DAMMIT VALVE), I would've never gotten the computer I have now. Too bad I can't tell the future.
So after I found out that a new graphics card is out of question, I did everything I could to get even a bit better framerate: I downloaded the newest drivers for my current graphics card, updated DirectX9 and even got a Dual Core Optimizer which should help with some low framerate problems that AMD dual core processors can apparently cause.
No change whatsoever, I'm still getting the constant 20.
So then I lowered almost all my video options (except for Model Detail, which I refuse to put lower than medium, because otherwise it will eliminate all facial animations, and I really enjoy the funky expressions in deathcam shots), and got a massive 5 fps more! Whoopdie-fucking-do!
So apparently I'm stuck with lousy framerate, stuck with getting killed by circlestrafers and never able to gib enemies in mid-air because framerate fucks up all the shots I thought were extremely well-timed and aimed.
And I will never know how much better player I would be if my framerate was tolerable. I mean, if I'm doing pretty well with 20... who knows.
(Except that I will definitely try out playing with my little brother's new computer, which, I hear, can run Crysis with highest graphic options possible. Bro's probably pulling my leg.)

ANYWAY.

I've been on a traditional point-and-click adventure game high lately. I've apparently lost my The Curse of Monkey Island CDs (the game in question is my favourite of the series, shut up, I know. It was the first one I played, so it remains the most important to me. Just like The Cure's Bloodflowers is more important to me than Disintegration, which without a doubt is way superior an album than Bloodflowers and I freely admit it, but I digress...), but I found Douglas Adams' Starship Titanic, which is one of my all-time favourites, so I've been spending time small-talking with the Bots and trying to remember how to do the puzzles. It's been ages since the last time I played, so I've forgotten a lot of things.
I also remembered some disturbing things while trying to recall all the point-and-click adventure games that I've played. I played Leisure Suit Larry 6 when I was in fourth grade. What the hell. My uncle gave it to me, and now I can't stop thinking about how fucked-up that was: what kind of an uncle gives a very adult-themed adventure game to his 10-year-old niece?! (Well at least he didn't give it to my little brother. He was only seven back then...) I don't even know if my parents knew about it. Haha.
And now that I think about it, it's no wonder that I turned out swinging both ways, I really liked all the cheesy, busty girls in that game...
The same uncle gave me the Monkey Island a little later, though, so maybe he just liked adventure games and wanted to share.

Also, I have Ace Attorneys Trials and Tribulations and Apollo Justice (damn I hate to call the series "Ace Attorney," I'm so used to calling it Phoenix Wright...) on the way from Play-Asia (the goddamn games are already in Finland, but I have no idea did the customs catch the package or did it slip through. And it's been three freaking days since the package arrived. Pull yourself together, Itella!), so once they're here I'll probably be glued to my DS for quite some time.
Yeah, I'm pretty late to the game especially with Trials and Tribulations that came out ages ago, but I was waiting for it to come out in Europe, and as it turns out it still doesn't have a release date (whereas Apollo Justice does). So I decided to import it and get Apollo Justice too since it was so ridiculously cheap in Play-Asia.
And now I can still retain the symmetry with my DS games. Incidentally, none of my DS games are European versions, all of them are either American or Japanese. And I hate how European versions have fuck-ugly cases, while American and Japanese cases are very pretty and slim. I don't think I'll ever buy a European version of a DS game if I only can avoid it. Besides, if I can get a friend to order with me from Play-Asia and split the postage and possible taxes (like I am doing with those Ace Attorneys), it's usually cheaper to import. Because DS games are ridiculously expensive here.

And I'm sad I didn't realise to buy the Professor Layton game too. Well, there's always the next time...

And I'm finally starting to get really excited about Metal Gear Solid 4. Only a few weeks left until it comes out!
And as it turns out, I don't even have to buy the goddamn PS3! My friend got one for herself and promised me I could borrow it to play MGS4. So all I have to do is buy the game and spend a few days at her place to play through it.
I am probably getting my own PS3 in time, but there's no way I can shit out the ridiculous amount of money to get one before MGS4 comes out. And I have to play it instantly, I'm so scared of getting spoiled.
So all's well that ends well, I don't have to get PS3 just yet and I can still experience what finally happens to Snake and how the saga ends. YES.

Hee hee.

HA! This ain't so hard:



And I didn't even have a Medic stick to me, they all ditched me right after setup (Medics really hate me, even when I'm doing well they hate me. Then again, I do better without Medics because I get so nervous when I have one and if they über me... well, I start failing in epic proportions) so I plowed my way through the stage all by myself.
And that Dustbowl match ended in 54 kills, 32 assist and dominating half of the other team, so all in all I'm suddenly doing pretty well as a Heavy. I have no idea what happened.
But the most surprising round was another match in Dustbowl. I joined the server in the middle of stage two, after the first point had been capped, and still ended up as an MVP. That was kinda cool.

I'm also surprisingly good at reserving ammo. I've played a LOT as Heavy last night, and only ran out of ammo once. And that was right after an über (thank god not in the middle of it). It's probably because I've got so used to playing Soldier, and I'm nearly neurotic about keeping my reserve rockets over 10 at all times.
But yeah, I was quite sure I'd end up chewing through my ammo in a matter of seconds and not realising to scavenge dropped weapons, but luckily that was not the case.

And playing as Heavy makes me hate Snipers even more. Like I told you, I have this intense fear of (good) Snipers, I choke whenever I see a Sniper dot or the tall figure in the distance and I send a suppressive rocket their way and I try to run and jump and be unpredictable and "D:" and hoping they wouldn't hit me but I know that I'm dead and yes, they always hit me.
And because I'm often playing with such a high ping, I often think that HA I MADE IT after I make it behind something, and half a second later I get hit. Damn lag. Same thing with Heavies: I think I managed to dodge their hail of bullets with 20 or so HP left and damn, still they hit me when I'm already behind the corner. Well at least I know it's my ping, and don't go accusing anyone of HAXORZ. Same thing with facestabs.
But anyway, I hated Snipers as a Soldier because I'm slow and everything, so I'm pretty easy to hit, but at least firing rockets at them makes them retreat instead of continuing to take aim (unless they're already aimed to my giant head, and one click away from a fully charged headshot of doom), and I can escape unscathed (or at least with a few HP left from a failed headshot), but with Heavy? Shooting at them from the other side of the goddamn map does nothing and is hardly an effective way to make them retreat, so most of the time the dispute ends in me being quite dead. I had one goddamn Sniper dominate me on Dustbowl's third stage last night. Whenever I as much as peeked around the last corner - BOOM! Headshot. And there was no way to kill him, goddamn, before I saw which side he was on and proceeded to shoot at him in vain, he would just calmly take aim and dispose of me. And the Heavy is slow as heck, especially when spinning Sasha, so there is no way to get out of harm's way when I'm shooting. Damn Snipers. And of course my team had no Snipers to draw his attention, so I was pretty much screwed.
And I hate Snipers on Gold Rush, oh god I hate them so much.

What does kinda ruin playing Heavy for me is my lousy framerate (I'm getting a constant 20 - yes, I can't WAIT to buy a new goddamn graphics card). Low framerate and lag make it sure that circle-strafers kill me so thoroughly it's not even funny (and I should probably adjust my mouse sensitivity whenever I'm playing as Heavy). I hate getting bonked to death. Damn Spies fail a backstab and then just easily circle around me to try it again. And Pyros? Oh god. I just flail and shoot and try to turn and close but no cigar.

And a funny story of WHY Medics shouldn't EVER über me: I'm Heavy, Slaverstrike's Medic, and he's sticking to me during some Gold Rush setup. I tell him that übering me isn't a really good idea, you should know, I'll waste it anyway, go find someone else to give it to, but he insists on giving it to me. So, the setup ends, the gates open, we rush out and he übers me.
And a second after the charge hits me, the game freezes. It goes completely dead. I literally LOL, and I laugh while waiting for my computer to restart (yeah, it was one of those wonderful little crashes when nothing but restarting works) and oh god, it was priceless. Had to tell Slaverstrike "TOLD YOU SO!" (and apologise for actually wasting his über) and hahahaha oh wow.
We only make a good team when I'M the Medic and HE'S the Heavy. Haha. Other way around it's just something simply atrocious.

Oh yeah, I got complimented as a Medic! The whole thing was pretty far out considering how rotten I am at staying alive, so my Heavy wasn't the only one surprised. We were playing in Hydro, I was following this Heavy around, and I was taking quite a lot of damage. At one point I was in flames, HP dropping dangerously close to zero and we were closing in on the enemy's cap point. And we had another Medic, who of course ignored me completely (I was expecting better out of her, damn it, she's a really good player and I don't think I've ever been as bitter about not getting a heal as I was back then), so the only thing I could do was to follow my Heavy in, with six or so HP left. Ha. He was really worried, telling me to go get some health, but damn it I was THIS close to getting an über, and we were so close to the cap point and I wasn't going to give up, so I kept healing him, almost died of fright when a goddamn Pyro tried to charge us - luckily not from behind - and I got my charge and we hit it and capped the point.
And when the next round started the Heavy told everyone how I had stayed alive for the longest time ever with so little health left and I was going ":3" by myself. That was totally reckless. And awesome as hell. I have a little bit of badass in me.
And damn that Heavy was probably the most polite player I've ever played with. He apologised when he accidentally took the health kit from me (it's hard to not take it when you're trying to get the ammo right next to it) or when he failed to kill the Pyro charging us from behind and killing us, and he fell back when I was taking damage, saying we should wait for a moment so I could regenerate some health and awww. Why can't everyone be like that?
Also damn I love every player who communicates with me when they're running out of ammo and I have a full charge. Not everyone can take sentries down with a goddamn shotgun (I've übered Slaverstrike so many times when he's out of rockets, and he charges a sentry nest with a shotgun and actually takes stuff down with it, but if it was anyone else but him I would probably be pissed), so people, if I'm sticking to you with a full charge, please please please indicate in some way or the other that you're out of ammo if that is the case. Switch to your secondary weapon! Fall back! Use the voicechat! Anything! I hate nothing more than übering a Heavy and all I get is CLICK CLICK CLICK.

You don't see this every day...

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK.

You probably remember how I've been fighting with Heavy, how I suck as one, how I can't kill absolutely anyone as Heavy, how I just spend most of my time waiting for respawn while I'm playing as Heavy and so and so on.

WELL TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, SUCKERS:



Okay, yeah, that isn't quite as astounding once I tell you from WHAT that score came from, but that's still one crazyass score. And yes, it's one life (my Heavy stats don't look quite as pathetic anymore! Sixteen is pretty good! You can go check it out if you don't believe me). I didn't die even ONCE. And yeah, we were steamrolling.
But that score? Seven captures, two kills. One assist, but it doesn't count. Damn Gold Rush is crazy, and I was basically hugging the cart the whole time. It's perfect, because the cart moves at the exactly same pace as the Heavy does while spinning Sasha, which makes Heavy a nice mobile cart-defending turret. The kills came from a very lucky crit streak while plowing through the narrow hallway after the first checkpoint. Heh, gotta love those crits.
But anyway, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when the round ended and I saw I was a goddamn MVP. Number one, no less! (And I robbed a Medic from his First Do No Harm, sorry about that.)
I was an MVP on second stage too, but we didn't blow up the base in the third stage, but I was third on the scoreboard, with 59 points (which breaks down to 13 kills, 8 assists, 4 destructions and 19 captures). And I even dominated someone, WTF.

And having a Medic makes such a difference, I completely owned the enemy team at the start of the match once the teams changed and it was my team's time to defend, and the Medic who had been sticking to me went all "lol, nice one, Chrome." To which I replied that I'm actually a really horrible Heavy, but somehow I'm suddenly doing pretty good. Have a wild guess did he stick to me after that? Haha. Way to shoot yourself in the leg there, missy. But I didn't want him to stick to me too much, I would've probably wasted many of his übers.
But yeah, we weren't steamrolling anymore, so I was standing on a more even ground as a Heavy, plus I couldn't mooch all my points out of captures anymore, so I was quite sure I'd end up spending all my time in respawn, as usual. Also my deaths would skyrocket, while my killcount would stay ridiculously small.
Well I'm glad I was wrong: I was actually doing pretty good! Got a new kills record (five!), dominated some other guy, got the most awesome crit streak EVER after sneaking behind the enemy team in the hallways after the first checkpoint on stage two and MOWED THEM DOWN WITHOUT MERCY. Kept chuckling to myself as I emerged from the hallways, only a few hitpoints left and screaming for Medic.
And here's a screenshot of the final scoreboard, so you can see that I'm not making this shit up:



It's really not that great, I have just barely more kills than deaths (but thirty kills it pretty good! For me! That's like... more kills than I've got as a Heavy before this! No, seriously) and most of my points did come from those captures, but still I'm GODDAMN PROUD of myself! I'm glad I didn't give into my fear of sucking and being a drag to my team.
And with this successful Gold Rush match in mind I think I might have the guts to actually play more as the Heavy. I definitely will find myself going Heavy on Gold Rush from now on, it was so much fun - especially when attacking (besides, I was already getting really bored of playing Soldier on Gold Rush). Damn that cart is awesome.

No new Medic achievements, I haven't been really playing as Medic (except last night, uh, I was once again going on a killing spree with an awesome Demoman. We were steamrolling, just the two of us, it was kinda amusing to look at the scoreboard at the end of the match when we were there on the top, sporting twice as much points as the rest of our team. Our team was the sorriest excuse for a team ever, though, and I suppose the enemy team was too).

I've been Engineering on Dustbowl a lot, for a change. Almost broke my sentry kills record. AND got killed TWICE by my sentry today, so apparently that happens even when I'm sober. Damn newbie Spies uncloaking behind my goddamn back and then getting shot by my sentry THROUGH MY BODY.
And I know I'm being a horrible thorn in enemy team's side when half of the team goes Spy to either a) get a revenge on me after getting dominated, or b) finally take me down after having wasted several übers and failed gloriously every single time. Tee hee.
I love it.

And I love noobish Spies, they're so CUTE when they freeze completely. Seriously, I find myself going "aww" at them and not wanting to kill them when they're so adorably clueless. Today I watched this Spy just STAND next to me for god knows how long. I saw him uncloak as I turned to repair my dispenser, so I proceeded to shotgun him in the face. And then I stopped because I was kinda curious to see what he would do. I mean, a good Spy would've got the hell outta there when I saw him uncloak, but this little newbie Spy didn't even MOVE while I shot him: he just stood there, disguised as a Demo. So he stood there for a while, staring, and then he cloaked and ran away. Poor scared little Spy.
I think he actually went to sap my teleporter entrance after that (this was Dustbowl Stage two, I was defending). Yeah, newbie Spy, those were the easy points to get. I should've probably killed you, but damn, you kinda melted my cold Spy-loathing Engineer heart back there.
I killed him the next time I saw him, though.
And I don't remember if it was the same Spy (or some other newbie, damn the server was full of those tonight) who just STOOD STILL while trying to sap my things a little bit later. Needless to say, he got so wrenched. Aww.
Or the one who sapped my sentry and desperately tried to stab me in the face (I was back against a wall) while I just calmly whacked the sapper off. Awww.
I really didn't see any good Spies today, I dominated all the ones that tried to bring me down. Good Spies... I don't exactly know what makes a good Spy (because bad Spies do the exact same things the good Spies do, it's just that... they're not as good at it. I'd probably know the difference if I played more as a Spy), but a good Spy makes me want to ragequit. A good Spy makes it sure that I don't see him coming. A good Spy makes it sure that while I'm alive, I do nothing but beat sappers off of my buildings. A good Spy makes it sure that I spend most of my time in respawn, watching as my buildings get sapped. I don't understand what they do different from bad Spies: sometimes I see a Spy coming, and sometimes I don't.
Okay, yeah, good Spies backstab me first and then sap my stuff, and goddamn I hate it when they do that. With a third level sentry that requires some insane weapon-changing skill, I believe.

Those pesky newbie Spies did get a bit unnerving later on stage three, because there were at least two of them, and my team was full of equally as noobish Medics (there were at least four running around) healing EVERYONE in the vicinity, and I always watched with growing dread as one of the very inconspicuous Spies (I don't know what it is with bad Spies and being able to tell they're Spies from miles away - except that these ones liked to disguise as Engineers, which meant that they were either me, or the team's other Engie who was tanking his sentries on the other side, or waiting for respawn. For some reason he succumbed to the Spies and their sapping antics quite often) beelined straight towards me and my little nest with three spastic Medics in tow. OH GOD THE HORROR.
I should probably use the mic in those situations, but I didn't have my headset plugged in. Plus I'm still afraid to use it, I always get so nervous that I start stammering when I try to say something.
But yeah, I had to tell the Medics to be a bit more careful after I lost my buildings once (go ahead and try to kill a Spy with two Medics glued to his disguised ass!), but yeah, considering how chaotic and spammy that first point area gets... it's no wonder we lost.

Creative Engineering!

Grand Rounds and Autopsy Report GET! Five more and the Kritzkrieg is mine. I'm also 3/10 through Family Practice and 11/20 through Doctor Assisted Homicide.

And I didn't have to act like an ass to get Autopsy Report, it was Dustbowl, Stage three, and I was attacking. We were holding the line somewhere near the last corner (always the last corner!), but I had to fall back at some point because of an enemy über approaching, and I was holding a full charge and didn't want to die again while holding it (and there was no one there to give the charge to). So I'm waiting behind the second corner, and a Pyro runs around the corner and right at me yelling for Medic. I felt my Spy sense tingling, so I of course whipped out my Blutsauger to see if it indeed was a friendly Pyro in peril or a cheeky enemy Spy trying to trick me. Unsurprisingly it was the latter.
I was pretty damn slow to react after killing the Spy, but I noticed just as I was running over his corpse, that DAMN I could try taunting, and so I did. Got the achievement. Whoo.
I should've bonesawed him, now that I think about it, because he was yelling for Medic. Damn. But I still suck with the bonesaw, with Blutsauger I can actually kill people. Which reminds me, damn glitches, I was playing on Gravel Pit a few nights ago, and had to attack at some point, trying to fall back from just-captured B. And for some reason I didn't have the Blutsauger equipped. Didn't even realise it at first, not until I critted and went WTF the Blutsauger shouldn't cr... oh crap why am I holding the regular syringe gun oh fffff I'm dead, aren't I? Yeah, got killed because of it. I would've probably survived if I had the Blutsauger with me then, Pyros don't really stand a chance against it if I can stay outside the range of their flamethrower. Even if I am in flames.
But yeah, went to equip the Blutsauger during respawn, and actually had it equipped, so it was probably a glitch or something.

Last night I practised something I like to call "Creative Engineering." You know, on certain maps you see the sentries in same places, always, which isn't very clever, considering that the enemy is expecting to see sentries in those places, knows not to get in their line of sight, and prepare an über to take them down. Everyone's starting to know the weak spots of certain sentry locations (well at least I'm starting to know them), which makes those spots liabilities rather than strong defensive measures. So it's actually more effective to have a sentry in a place where no one expects one, even if it gets taken down very easily. So I'm trying to come up with places where no one expects a sentry, and where it can disrupt the enemy offense for a moment or two (maybe buy time for the other Engies to get down their sentries and fortify our base defenses). One of these places, while still a pretty known place for a sentry, is on Dustbowl's stage three's cap A. Usually Engies put their sentries on the ledge that leads out of REDs respawn, and near the stairs next to it. I usually put my sentry on the opposite side, to the right from the cap point, next to the stairs leading to the building. Attackers don't usually expect a sentry to be on that side (because it's more obvious to have the sentries on the other side, plus there are sentries ALWAYS on that side, and not nearly as often on the side I'm building on), and they use their übers trying to take down the sentries on the left, usually ignoring mine. Even if they take down the sentries, mine is going to shoot them in the back, sending them to respawn and buying time for other Engies to get their sentries back up. So the next time they try to take down my sentry, and the other sentries shoot them in the back. The setup can only be defeated with multiple co-ordinated übers (or with a very skilled Demoman chucking pipe bombs or stickies through the tiny windows in the building. With enough skill you can get them land right on top of my sentry. I hate Demomen when they do that). Or Spies.
Defended the point last night with this setup, and I even was an MVP that round.
Creative Engineering is plenty of fun on Gravel Pit, too. On Dustbowl it's pretty hard, but Gravel Pit is perfect for it.

Also, played a lot of offensive Engineer. Because I hate it when on certain maps you never get teleporters to front lines because no one ever plays Engineer when the team's attacking. Sure, offensive Engies are pretty useless on Dustbowl before the first point is capped (except on stage two: a sentry in the dugout can keep those pesky spawncamping-loving Pyros away. Stage three needs a dispenser and a sentry to guard it, because the first point area gets really spammy and as a Soldier I always run out of ammo and I hate to go back to respawn, or risk getting killed trying to scavenge any dropped weapons. Also, it keeps Pyros from spawncamping, and makes approaching enemy übers busy: instead of killing our men, they try to take down the sentry) and with the defense trying to push us back, it's pretty hard to get down a sentry to keep THEM back. It's totally awesome if you DO get a sentry down. Ensured a capture on stage two last night: got a first level sentry down close to the tiny building with ladder leading to its roof, which kept enemies off the point.
Another awesome offensive Engie moment was on Gravel Pit: we were attacking A after getting B, and I managed to get a sentry down just beside the cap point. Very vulnerable spot, but no one expected it, so it killed quite a few defenders before it got taken down, and by then the point was already capped. HA. After that I got buttraped and dominated by a FUCKING SCOUT, and we never got C. Jesus Christ I hate good Scouts. Couldn't even get a teleporter down.
I blame being drunk, but yeah. I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse. Teammates were complaining about the Scouts as well, so at least I wasn't the only one who got dominated by them.
Also went offensive Engineer on Gold Rush (being Engie on Gold Rush is still pretty weird for me since the map is so new), mainly to get those telporters up, because damn they make a difference. And while I was taking care of teleporting people to the front lines, I also experimented and tried to get down some sentries. Offensive sentries are almost always unexpected, which is great, and if they work, they can really stop defense from pushing us back.

But my greatest offensive Engineer moments were on Granary. I haven't played much as Engineer on Granary, because I find it really hard to build a sentry that would LAST for longer than a few minutes. There are no really good sentry locations, which naturally makes it great for some really creative Engineering. So my team is dominating, so I know to put my teleporter entrance down next to our SECOND respawn point instead of the base spawn, because I know we're going to cap the middle point anyhow. After the setup I wait for a moment, and then sneak in and try to get a sentry down right next to the point, to ensure our capture. After that I try to move it right outside the enemy warehouse capture point, to stop enemies from getting out of the warehouse and go capture the middle point back. You have no idea how many kills I got with those sentries. And I probably pissed off the enemy team to no end, he he. Sure, the sentries got taken down not long after the enemy learned about them, but it still makes me happy to get five odd kills with a sentry that no one saw coming. Also, I'm not very invested in those sentries, so once I get them down, I fuck off to do something else (for example, to lure enemies to my sentry, a huge hearty LOL at all the Pyros and Scouts who actually followed me and got shot, ha ha!), because the sentry IS going to die, and there's no use for me to tank it. Besides I usually get killed with my sentry, so if I'm not tanking it, I stay alive, and can get another sentry up somewhere else in a matter of seconds. I also don't upgrade them too much: if there's ammo supply close, I get them to level two and that's it.
Anyway, wherever it is that the sentry is, I put down my teleporter exit somewhere close by. After the warehouse point is capped, I move the teleporters accordingly, and try to put a sentry in the warehouse, to keep the enemies pinned near their base. I don't know how useful I was being, but at least I got a shitload of points from teleports. That's my main function as an offensive Engineer, after all: coming up with obscure sentry locations is just the "for fun" part.
And of course it would work much better if I didn't get shot to death by my own sentry all the time, but what can I say. I was drunk.



But anyway, not playing Engineer like I normally would definitely made it much more fun. Might have to do it more. Preferably while I'm sober and not as prone to dominate myself.

And ha, our little faggotry-filled Circlejerk group has our own server now. The name's MANTRAIN, so I'd really like to see the faces of my "normal" Steam friends once they see THAT on their Friends tab.

More achievement stuff and general ranting

Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna add one little thing to that last entry: the number one reason for why I won't farm any achievements, even if it costs me the Übersaw.

I don't want to screw up my stats. I like looking at my stats and it's great to feel like I've actually got better every time I break my previous record for kills or healing or longest life or something. So if I suddenly have the highest life measuring in hours and max kills of fifty or something... that would suck. Then I would never again feel like I've got any better.
And yeah, I'm a total stats whore (if you haven't noticed!), I stare at my own stats waaay too often. The stats parser is my best friend. So I don't want to ruin that for me.

I know there's a lot of whining going on about the new weapon unlockables being tied to achievements that basically promote "acting like an idiot" and thus ruining the game for others. With that in mind I am kinda starting to resent Valve's decision to handle the unlockables this way... don't get me wrong, I don't mind the weapons being tied to achievements (and I like getting achievements, I think it's fun), it's just that some of the achievements are, face it, pretty stupid.
Yesterday was probably the first time I actually saw a Medic act like a total idiot. He didn't ruin things for the rest of us (we had two capable Medics to balance him out, but still we were basically playing 11 to 12), but it was still kinda annoying trying to yell for a heal and this idiot just kept trying to kill people and taunt.
Note to self: do not try to get Autopsy Report in the heat of a battle.
Then again, I did something that constitutes as "acting like an idiot" yesterday too, but uh, it kinda had nothing to do with the achievements. I was just being an idiot on my own accord. I DID get some progress for Peer Review for it, but now that I think about it, I have no idea what the hell was going through my mind then. So, Gold Rush, first stage, final checkpoint. I was defending, and I get out of the respawn and saw an übered Demo rushing towards me and up the stairs to get on top of our respawn building. So I followed. And bonesawed the Medic. And felt really good about myself, until I heard "the cart is nearing the checkpoint!" and got killed just in time to spectate as BLU wins the round. Ehhhh. So I could've been there to keep our Soldiers and Demos going instead of chasing down a Demo-Medic combo who were apparently trying to take down our Snipers. A horrible miscalculation on my part. This is why I don't go combat Medic on Gold Rush or Dustbowl or Gravel Pit. I always have better things to do than kill someone.

But yeah, I was about to say that sure, some of the achievements basically tell you to fuck teamwork and be a drag to your team, but face it: some of the achievements cause the exact opposite. Some of the achievements actually make you a good Medic.
For example, Grand Rounds. I see far too many Medics sticking to that one Heavy like they're Siamese twins or something, and nothing annoys me more than trying to get a heal and the Medic is basically glued to some other dude. Especially if I'm playing as Medic too.
Infernal Medicine. I got it yesterday (hee, I got it when I extinguished Slaverstrike), and that really didn't take very long to get.
But both of those achievements made me do my job a little bit better: I tried to heal everyone calling for Medic (except when my primary target was under heavy fire and I deemed it would be more useful to keep him alive than to fuck him and go heal the lone Soldier in the other side of the map - besides, another Medic would probably get him before I do), and I also tried to extinguish everyone whenever they were on fire. Especially other Medics.
And oh yeah, I'm 11 heals away from getting Grand Rounds, so consider that one done.
And First Do No Harm promotes being a good Medic and doing your job (and I find it extremely amusing how most of the people who have farmed achievements don't have this. HAR HAR). As well as Trauma Queen and Group Health and Double Blind Trial and Intern and Ubi Concordia, Ibi Victoria, which are just basically doing what Medics are supposed to do. Big Pharma and Specialist are taking it a bit overboard, but at least trying to get them teaches you to survive and stay alive and keep your healing target(s) alive. Which is what I should be practicing.

So stop whining about the achievements. If you can't get some of them by playing normally, I have to think that you're a rotten Medic, and thus should go back to playing Soldier and stop feeling butthurt about not getting everything on a golden platter. What the hell would you do with Medic weapons if you don't even play that much as Medic?! You having the Kritzkrieg would mean just one idiot Medic more who just doesn't know when to use it!
I know I won't be getting any Demoman or Scout unlockables once they come out, and whine about the achievements being hard. Because I don't play as Demo or Scout. I don't care. Why should you? No wonder you whine about the MMORPG grinding aspects, you are the one making it a matter of grinding.

Also I don't know what everyone's whining about "too many Medics on every server," because I'm playing on public servers and only remember having an overabundance of Medics on two or three different occassions (okay, last night we started a 12 on 12 match on Dustbowl with only Soldiers and Medics in our team. THAT was horrible. I was a Soldier, btw, and got the only Medic with the Kritzkrieg, hee hee). Change servers, kthxbai, it's not that hard! Or talk to the admin about restricting the amount of Medics to the max of two or three.

Rant rant rant. Okay. I'm just getting so tired of basement-dwelling fanboys whining about every single thing. Yes, I do get the irony. Except that I'm not a basement-dwelling fanboy. Sry2say.

And what IS it with these jealous Medics?! Okay, I get it, you want in on the fun and our Heavy buddy is on top of the scoreboard, but Jesus Christ why do you stick to the same guy I'm sticking to, while there are people yelling for Medic in the direction from where you came from?! Sure, I don't mind, you can have the Heavy and I'll go heal the others, but WHOA. First come first serve, I think.
(Btw, if it's points you're after, you get so much more from actual healing than those precious assists, just sayin'.)
And for fuck's sake, Medic, don't heal the same guy I'm healing during the setup! Goddamn these noobs (or idiots, whatever) are starting to get to me.

Sorry, I'm talking a lot about Medics these days. I could tell you about how absolutely fucking scared I am of (good) Snipers, and how I should be playing more as Pyro now that there are Medics everywhere (I did it yesterday on Well and HEE HEE burning Medic flesh, everywhere), but I'll save those stories for later. I think I'm coming to a stop with the achievements pretty soon, so I'll have to come up with something else to talk about.

Achievements here, achievements there...

Just updating on my Medic achievements status, because I know you all must be so very interested about it and practically shivering with antici... pation, wanting to hear how I'm slowly inching towards my ultimate goal, ie. getting the Kritzkrieg.
Oh, but what about the Übersaw? Isn't that my ultimate goal?
And the curt answer is "not really, no" because I am NOT going to farm any of the achievements because I detest that sort of action (the only one I MIGHT get with a bit of co-ordinated help from Slaverstrike or someone, is Medical Intervention). And I'm trying NOT to act like a total idiot on any of my regular servers. I'm a respectable Medic, I am, so I'm not going to über boxing Heavies or Scouts or go out trying to kill people with the bonesaw while holding a full charge or anything of the like. Unless I'm drunk and can indeed quote the Demoman: "I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse!"
I'm going to get the achievements needed for the Kritzkrieg, and I'm going to get them fairly, playing Medic like I normally would. And no matter how long it will take. End of story, bye bye Übersaw.

Anyway, 17/39, got House Call today. I joined the server in full intention to über Slaverstrike, but ended up übering one of my OTHER Steam friends who just happened to play on the same server, and it was just another of my panicky OH GOD I'M DYING I HAVE TO ÜBER situations and he just happened to be there right then. I had planned on übering him as well at some point, to get him included in Family Practice, but, well. That works too. Later on I übered Slaverstrike as well, but I still didn't get but one friend included in Family Practice, and now I have no idea which one of them it was. Well damn. I guess I'll have to über them both again at some point in time. Not that I mind, the other friend is one of the kickass Demomen I've been sticking to lately (we were a destructive, carnage-driven combo on Dustbowl the other night).

What else? I'm about 130 through Grand Rounds, and 50 through Infernal Medicine, so I need just another night of intense Medicing, and those two should be taken care of. I have killed three Scouts for Does It Hurt When I Do This? (would be four, but a damned Engineer meddled with his little pea-shooter and finished the Scout I had been killing. Damned Engineers should stay in kitchen? tanking behind their sentries), and I'm not looking forward to finishing this one any time soon. Scouts are ridiculously easy to kill with the Blutsauger, basically they don't stand a chance unless they crit (which they always seem to do when they're shooting at my general direction, stupid Scouts), or unless they really abuse the hell out of the doublejump. Or if they're smart (and/or yellow-bellied) and run away instead of trying to engage me in a deathmatch.
I also have a grand total of ONE MEDIC killed for Peer Review, and that one I am seriously not striving to get, it would count as "acting like an idiot." Unless it's a one-on-one, kill-or-be-killed situation. This one poor Medic got bonesawed to death on Gravel Pit, we were attacking, dominating, and we had pretty much already got C. Most of RED was dead, and I saw this lone Medic trying to charge the last cap in a desperate attempt to thwart our inevitable victory, so I just followed him and bonesawed him before he even knew what was happening.
Doctor Assisted Homicide, 3/20. I don't even notice when it's happening, I'm not paying any attention to revenges my healees are getting. Btw, if you really want this, I'm a very good target when I'm playing Soldier. Haha. If the enemy team is steamrolling, there's a high chance that half of their team is dominating me (well, not HALF of their team, but a few players anyhow), and usually I get those revenges on people sooner or later, because I'm only a half-bad Soldier. I think Slaverstrike got at least two assist for my revenges while healing me today on Hydro, heh.
I still haven't got Second Opinion though I sure as hell am trying! (Whenever things aren't too hectic, that is, and I'm übering someone who's very close to someone else by chance). I hear it's pretty buggy, and near impossible to get. I don't even have auto heal on, and I've been trying everything, but no. Still not getting it.
Another one is Autopsy Report. What the HELL do I have to do? I haven't tried it but few times (my spirits kinda crashed after I got Blutsaugered to death by an enemy Medic while taunting on top of a Scout's corpse. Damn it, sneaky Medic, didn't see you there), but I've started the taunt right after I got the kill, and I've been standing directly on top of the body, but nooo, I just won't get it. Stupid buggy achievements.

And speaking of my dear Blutsauger, it makes me act like a wannabe combat Medic. I find myself attacking like a nutcase with it, even when I wouldn't need to. So much for "not acting like a complete idiot." But I'm clearly getting better! And I do get more kills than I used to, the Blutsauger is just so awesome.
And this happens on regular CP maps, on Dustbowl, Gold Rush and Gravel Pit I find myself attacking very rarely (ie. only when everyone else is dead and it's kill or be killed, or a Spy tries to cause some mischief), if at all. But on those maps I usually have a buddy, on maps like Badlands or Well it's somehow harder to find a buddy to stick to, and thus I found myself going combat Medic. Hmm. I don't know, but there really seems to be a pattern.

And nothing makes me happier than someone I've been healing before remembering me and going all "okay, you've got me, let's go." Aww. <3 I remembered that Heavy too, we were topping the scoreboard on Hydro a few nights ago. Another one who thinks I'm not a bad Medic yay!

Damn the Blutsauger is one sexy weapon. I'm liking it a bit too much right now. It has saved me in situations in which I would've died with the regular syringe gun, Spies don't stand any change against me anymore (the Blutsauger is awesome for spychecking: even when they're in disguise you can leech health from them and SEE IT) and it's just generally the most awesome weapon ever. I even killed a Heavy with it, hee.
And I completely love it when I dominate some poor player (by assists), who then goes Spy and tries to get a revenge on me, just to end up getting killed by me. Again. <3 Honey, if you need to get a revenge on me when I'm Medic, Spy's the one class that can't kill me as unless you know exactly what you're doing (ie. you can't let me see you. At all. A complete surprise is the only way).
And I'm getting closer to Kritzkrieg. I'm hoping I would get it by playing Medic normally, I don't want to start übering Scouts and melée Heavies and disrupting whatever it is that our team is doing. I'm 16/39 through the achievements, so I only need nine.
And I've got Preventive Medicine and Hypocritical Oath since the last I wrote, both by playing just like I would normally play. Hypocritical Oath came as a surprise, it was Goldrush, second stage, last checkpoint, and I was healing everyone in the reigning chaos. Apparently I healed some Spy as well, then heard one of our Engineers exclaiming about a SPAH and I'm apparently really becoming a goddamn Engineer midwife, because I instantly whipped out the Blutsauger and killed the Spy who was trying to sap the buildings. Got the achievement. Didn't even think about it.
So yeah, this far I've got all the achievements by playing Medic like I normally would. Looking forward to getting Big Pharma (I'm positive I can do it in a completely regular game, my assist record is already 19, after all. I'm counting on Slaverstrike), Grand Rounds (already over 100 into that one - damn it, people, now we want you to spam the hell outta E, so why don't you do it?!), Infernal Medicine (about 30 into that), Doctor Assisted Homicide, Intern, maybe Specialist, Second Opinion, Autopsy Report and House Call. Those are the ones I think that I can get by playing normally.

Also, I'm now trying to get the hang of playing the Heavy. I like being a Heavy, it's just that I suck as one. I have my good moments, today I played a couple of minutes without sucking at all! Didn't waste an über, destroyed some buildings, killed a couple of people, and then got wrenched to death by an Engineer, because my Medic had fucked off somewhere. That bitch. Medics hate me when I'm Heavy. Sadness.
And that's what I need: I just need a patient, persistent Medic who will stick to my sorry ass even when I don't get that much kills. It's pretty hard trying to learn to play as Heavy when I can't even stay alive, because people are firing at me from five different directions and the goddamn fatty is so slow that I can't drag my ass to safety before I'm Swiss cheese.
And then I'm trying to be more careful, which just ends in me being a) backstabbed, b) headshot, c) meléed to death by someone who had easily sneaked behind me or d) crouched behind some corner spinning Sasha and being useless because I'm just waiting someone to come to me instead of me going to them.

But Heavy's going to be my next "I'm Learning To Play This Class!" project. Hey, it took me four hours to not suck completely as Soldier, and almost twenty to be any good as one, so I think I'll just have to endure being a horrible, noobish fatty who's hated by Medics. I have to get the hang of it eventually. Right? Right?
And I need more classes to play as, seriously. I only have four: Medic's starting to be my career class because it's the only class I actually feel I'm good at, no matter the situation, and Soldier's my feelgood class (complete love/hate relationship, btw: as Soldier I just CAN'T BE GOOD, whatever it is that I do. I can top the scoreboard and still feel like I suck, and it bothers me SO MUCH. Did that make any sense? No? Love/hate relationship. I wish I knew how to quit you, Soldier, damn you). Engineer's my "there are no Engineers so I'll be one" class. And I've never been a good Pyro on any other map but Hydro. I gave up on Sniper after four hours of playing, because goddamn I hate Snipers. I don't like being a Sniper, because I know how goddamn useless I am when I'm one.
And I'm still chickening out of playing as Spy, I'm an absolutely appalling Scout and a Demo (and I don't think I'll ever bother to learn to play as either of them, I just can't use Scout's abilities to my advantage and I've always been terrible with grenades, I can never predict trajectories right and my timing simply sucks), and Heavy... yeah.
But no, I wasn't good at any class from the get-go, I shouldn't give up on playing a class after an hour of playtime. Of course I'm a relatively good Medic, I have fifty-four hours as Medic. Of course I at least know how to handle the Soldier with the insane sixty-three hours of playtime as one. I've had my fair share of successful Engineering and Spy-owning in thirty hours. I've played as Heavy for an hour and a half, I shouldn't be so surprised that I still suck as one. Same with Spy: I think Spy has the highest learning curve out of all nine classes, and I have one hour of playtime as Spy. Of course I suck as a Spy!
I just hate screwing up our teamwork by being useless.

I'm also starting to love Demomen when I'm Medic. I'm finding myself sticking to them far more often than I stick to Soldiers, for example. Nothing beats good fatties, but damn, good Demomen are serious harbingers of doom. Today was the fourth time within few days that I've been primarily sticking to a Demoman. And if the Demo knows what he's doing when I über him... the destruction! The carnage! Pipe bombs! Gibs! Sentry parts! Everywhere! It's beautiful. Yeah I admit I'm a total assist whore (but just for the record: I get most of my points from healing, not from assists. I've been on top of the scoreboard with over 20 000 healing and less than 15 assists), but I'm starting to notice that good Demomen get any job done way better than good Soldiers do. The only downside is that Demos are pretty much screwed if enemy gets close enough (laying stickies to their feet does kill the enemies, but they often suicide as well by doing that), and if enemy gets close to my healing target, they usually get close to me too, which makes me screwed as well. Except that with the Blutsauger I now have a tiny little chance of making it out alive, but it's still something I'd rather not go through.
But yeah. I love them Scottish cyclops.

Well, that was easy

Look!


That was ridiculously easy.

Heh, I'm once again playing drunk.

I went Medic a few times, just to see if I could get any of the achievements. And it would seem that the Blutsauger is ridiculously easy to get. I got those twelve achievements without even trying. This far I have First Do No Harm (I had three other Medics in my team, but luckily they all sucked, so I got it pretty damn easily on Dustbowl), Quadruple Bypass, Group Health (without coordinating: like I told you, it would be easy to get, what with all servers being full of Medics), Surgical Prep, Trauma Queen (I have no idea how I got this, I don't even remember staying alive for three consecutive übers - yeah, I AM drunk), Double Blind Trial (easy as heck), Play Doctor (sheer luck, I changed to Medic in the middle of a match in Goldrush and got it just like that), Triage, Autoclave (apparently you don't have to kill five people, it's enough to just light them on fire, at least that's how I got it), Midwife Crisis (the first one I got, very easy), Bedside Manner (I was sneaky: I kept healing a Medic who just joined the server during the setup: he got Surgical Prep, I got this) and Chief of Staff.

So. I have a Blutsauger.

AWESOME.

And now I'll jump on a server for a moment to test my brand new pretty Blutsauger. <3 Didn't have time to actually test it, I'm keeping a cigarette break from playing. I'll try to get the rest of the achievements later. I really want to get the Kritzkrieg (got Kritzkrieged a few times today, again, and it was so GODDAMN AWESOME every single time. Fucking hell...). Slaverstrike already promised to help me to get it, so I'm looking forward to it.

BLUTSAUGER FUCK YEAH.

EDIT: I just got Ubi concordia, ibi victoria. WUT. I was sure that's one of the achievements that I wouldn't be getting in quite some time, but well, whaddaya know. I was steamrolling in Granary again (...why am I this good when I'm drunk, seriously?), got the achievement when I was capping the last point with a kickass Demoman. And I'm apparently already 50/200 through Grand Rounds.
Also, Second Opinion is indeed impossible to get. It's apparently very buggy, I've been trying to juggle my übers the whole night, but I still don't have the achievement.

Goldrush!

So. Right.

Goldrush?

Is love.

I'm absolutely loving the map. I'm still pretty lost on it, I haven't even been to every hallway or used every route, and more often than not I find myself going the wrong damn way. Huge map is huge. The first time I was defending on third stage I ran in circles for the entire setup. I left the respawn, had a Medic stick to me, and a few seconds later I found myself BACK in the final checkpoint area and went completely WTF (I suppose there's a shortcut, just like in Dustbowl's stage three? I followed everyone there, but then turned the wrong way and ended up back in our respawn). And the poor Medic was clinging to me the entire time, haha. I was sure he was going wtf is that goddamn Soldier doing, is he lost or what. Didn't leave me, though. (That Medic was a mystery: he kept sticking to me although I was lost half the time and I wasted a few of his übers, and yet he STILL kept giving them to me). Then I followed the tracks (thank GOD for the tracks) and found my way to the cart after BLU had already capped it, heh.
But yeah, I've only played like four games on Goldrush, and most of the time haven't gotten through second stage. And I've never seen BLU actually win, the third stage's final checkpoint favours defense immensely. It was IMPOSSIBLE to get around the last corner after our offense broke. And it was very easy not to let BLU get through when we were defending, although we won with the cart being inches away from the final checkpoint, heh.
Also I don't understand how captures work on Goldrush. Are the stats broken or something, or do you REALLY get a capture each time you get to the cart and make it move? Not only on checkpoints? I was suddenly getting like five captures/life and was pretty surprised because of it.
The map also seems to be buggy as hell. I don't know if it was the map or what, but I got pretty disoriented at one point when the teams changed and my HUD remained RED even though I was in BLU. And when I got übered, I was glowing red. My crits were red. So most of the time I was firing at my own teammates and getting killed because I kept ignoring the REDs. And I was also pretty drunk at that point, which naturally added to the confusion. Ouch.

And, oh, one of the best parts about the map? The way the announcer goes totally fucking insane on third stage when the bomb is nearing the final checkpoint. Her laugh is priceless. I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it.

I was playing Soldier like I said I would be, changed to Medic only once to get the Chief of Staff achievement (I have over 1,5 million healed, so all I had to do was to change to Medic, get the medigun out, and I got the achievement), and so I can't really talk about the unlockables or achievements yet.
I can talk about them from an outsiders' point of view, though, so here we go: there were actually not that many Medics running around. Four was a constant amount, sometimes there were more and sometimes less (I was on a 24 player server), but I didn't even once have TOO MANY Medics in my team.
And goddamn, yes, I had a harem at times. Hee.
I saw quite a lot of Blutsaugers already. They're not really terrifying, but damn it if I don't want one. There were a few Kritzkriegs (of which I will talk about in a moment), and I even got killed by an Übersaw at one point. I also saw people use the damn console command. A player enters, we get announcements of the said player getting the three milestone achievements, and then he was running around with the Übersaw. Thank god Valve already removed the commands, and I'm seriously hoping they'd find a way to roll back the achievements/weapons that people have got by cheating. I believe it's easier to root out those who have the weapons but don't have any other achievements but the milestones. I'm not bitter, I just think that cheating like that is pretty damn low.

But yes. The Kritzkrieg.
As a Soldier? The Kritzkrieg's THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER FUCK YES. I was defending in Dustbowl stage three when I had a Medic with the Kritzkrieg stick to me, and in mere moments: CRIT ROCKETS. EVERYWHERE. Holy fuck I almost came, that's how awesome it was. I saw enemies starting to scatter in panic once they saw the crits, but there was nothing they could do, because even the splash damage was killing people, and oh god it was A THING OF BEAUTY.
After that, whenever there was a Medic with the Kritzkrieg healing me, I actually started paying attention to them and trying to keep them safe, because yeah, I will do anything to get the charge given to me. I'm a total crit junkie, yes, but dammit, you've got a streak a lucky crits before, right? You know how great it feels? How about ten fucking seconds worth of crits?
YEAH.
IT'S THAT GOOD.
Also, the Kritzkrieg is the most terrible thing ever in the hands of your enemies. A Kritzkrieged Pyro charging right at you? I literally panicked. A skillful Soldier with a ten second crit streak? Fucking terrifying. A Heavy? Even from a significant distance that's gonna HURT. A DEMOMAN? FUCKING EVER-LASTING CRIT STICKIES FGSFDS. A melée combat Medic way too close for comfort? Fuck this shit I'm outta here. As in, goodbye cruel world.
The horror of being face to face with a Kritzkrieged enemy is enough to make you forget that they're not in fact immortal. I didn't even once fire at them, I just RAN and tried to hide, resulting in getting killed.

And then some interesting little observations from yesterday.
So, I am usually playing on "Newbies Only" servers. Not because I'm a noob (the regulars over there are seriously not noobs on any scale), but because I've got to used to playing there. The atmosphere is accommodating, there are no horrible assholes, and all the regulars are pretty nice. Plus they're vanilla servers with only the official maps in rotation. And truth to be told, the skill level of other players is on par with mine, that is to say that I don't get my ass completely kicked all the time, and when I have a good day I'm often topping the scoreboard. The lack of teamwork every now and then pisses me off, of course, but that's what you get from playing on a public server. And I can live with that. I rage, but I can live with it. Heh. The only downside is that I've always played with a ~150 ping, but I've got used to it and I'm doing pretty fine with a high latency like that, so I'm not complaining. At least 150 isn't completely insane.
Anyway, yesterday I was playing on a totally random server. I just randomly picked one from the list, requirements being "vanilla," "24/7 Goldrush," and "an agreeable latency (ie. under 200)." Ended up on a 24/7 Dustbowl/Goldrush server (because you know how much I love Dustbowl), with a latency of 20 or so.
I was quite sure I'd end up being steamrolled because I've been playing with "noobs," and I have NO IDEA how my playing skills match with people who supposedly are not newbies. But I steeled myself and thought that I'd just change servers if that ends up being the case. Or suck it up and try my best.

So as it happens, I'm not being steamrolled at all. Quite the opposite. After the first game in Goldrush I was there in the middle of the scoreboard. But after that, Dustbowl, and I'm topping the scoreboard. For the entire goddamn game.
And I was drinking. So I was at least a bit tipsy, if not outright drunk.
Sure, part of it could be the latency, maybe the other players weren't that great (but I, uh, was dominating all the team-stacking clan players in the enemy team...) or whatever, but it doesn't change the fact that I was fucking owning.
After that round I was on top of the scoreboard even in Goldrush (and I wasn't even familiar with the map yet!), and kept wondering what kind of super Soldier do I turn out to be whenever I've been drinking. Haha.
And like I told you, every other player was NOT a Medic. And I had Medics stick to me, but not all the time.
Here, have a scoreboard screenshot, so you can see I'm not making this shit up:


Yeah.

Anyway. I'm going to play some more Goldrush now. I still have a bottle of wine, so I'll probably find myself going fatty at some point (Medic harem, I want one). Or maybe I'll go Medic and aim to übering Scouts and getting the "assist in bonking three enemies" achievement. Hehee.