Well that's pretty gay...

Okay, I just have to post this. Because wtf awesome.

I was playing a bit of Fallout 3 earlier today. I started a new game a while ago, this time with a guy named Gabrielle, who's strong and charismatic fellow (specialised in big guns, melee weapons and bullshitting like no other), who likes to dress sharp. And incidentally he's a complete antichrist and a shameless thief who takes everything not nailed down with him. He runs around the Capital Wasteland dressed in a stylish suit, hat and sunglasses, wielding a sledgehammer and a Flamer (although I just found the joys of the Shishkebab). He sneers at ugly Raider clothing and doesn't give a shit about defense stats: sacrifices must be made if one wants to look as good as Gabrielle does.



(Posing with a cool-ass magnum, since the Flamer's so clumsy-looking, ew.)

Anyway, Gabrielle blew up Megaton, went to Tenpenny Tower, felt appalled by all the bloated egos and ignorant people living there, and instead of maybe helping them with their Ghoul menace, he promptly went to talk to the Ghouls in question, ending up in cahoots with them. Because no matter how hard I try, Ghouls are awesome, and seriously, the racist residents of Tenpenny Tower needed to be taught a lesson in humility.

So before actually letting the Ghouls in, he went to look for Burke, since Gabrielle happens to be a bit of a Burke fanboy, and he wanted to get a picture with his idol. So he went to the penthouse suites, and followed Burke around for a while to get a good picture.

So picture his surprise (and my sick glee) when he followed Burke into Alistair Tenpenny's suite and witnessed THIS sight:



Yes.

Yes, Mr. Burke just promptly laid down next to Alistair Tenpenny in his queen-sized bed (I knew there was something going on...!), and neither of them paid any attention to Gabrielle standing (...and later on sitting...) next to the bed.

Gabrielle of course was mortified by this: either appalled or enormously jealous, he couldn't stand the sight of his idol being so ... so close with Mr. Tenpenny. So he went to let the Ghouls in, watched everyone get massacred and stole Mr. Tenpenny's fancy red suit.

The end.

(I fucking love this game.)

About L4D, for a change

It sure is a good thing Valve fixed dedicated server searching in L4D. Tried playing a few nights ago, and since I had four friends along, we of course made a lobby to make things a bit easier. I (or Slaver) usually host locally, because our connection's upload rate is pretty okay, and at least my friends hardly ever get any lag, but since the dedicated business was supposed to be fixed (and sometimes Steam decides to kick me while hosting locally, naturally making the server shut down), we tried that.
Did we find a server?
Yes. Once, out of five tries. And we had 170 ping. So matchmaking indeed! Server searching was fucking better before this so-called fix.

And why do people try to invite me to play L4D when I'm in-game? I never really understood what's the point in that. If you see me already playing on a server, what in the world makes you think I'll just jump servers and join your game? I get a lot of invites suddenly, from several different people on my friends list, and for some reason those always get under my skin.
So take note, people: when I play L4D, I usually play with a rather large group of friends (who are people I know irl). So if you want to play with me, drop me a line instead of just throwing a random invite, and I'll see what I can do.

And if there are a bunch of people with "Esa" after their name playing with me, yeah, those are my friends. We decided to start wearing a tag to confuse people (and scare them away in lobby when they join: there are four people in already, all going Infected, and all wearing the same tag after their name. Hehehe) and make it obvious that we know each other and any insults we may fling at each other are not to be taken seriously.
And if you ask, Esa stands for European Space Agency, and yes, we all work there.
(In reality it's just a silly in-joke which really doesn't make any sense in any other language but Finnish. Or, well, imagine replacing a part of any compound word - or in severe cases, any noun - with a very common male name, eg. John. There you go).
And don't mistake us for a clan of any kind.

And while we're on the topic of L4D, I wanna write about another thing. If you, for any reason at all, go AFK during game, even for a moment, TAKE A FUCKING BREAK FROM THE MENU. The goddamn idle mode is there for a reason. Because what happens if, during a versus match, you go to a toilet, or where the fuck ever, and just leave your character standing there? Yeah, we get slaughtered, that's what. Because we have to
a) Wait and protect you in one place, making all of us easy prey for the enemy team, and Director of course thinks that we're bored, and marches out a few hordes to make us feel alive again,
or
b) Run for it and leave you, which gets all of us killed. Because a smart enemy team knows that you, being AFK, are not a threat, and thus goes after US instead of YOU. Because we're one man short, you can't help us, and after we've been overwhelmed and incapped, you're the easy target.
Next time you go AFK without going idle, we're going to votekick your sorry ass that fucking instant.

And why don't people stay together in versus? I hate it when our game falls apart just because one man stays behind for some reason, and then gets assaulted by a Smoker or a Hunter, and we have to go back for them, and then we lose. I'd love to leave them to die because it was their own mistake to stay behind, especially when we make it very clear at the start of the match that we're going to stay together and keep moving, but you know how it goes, it's a team game.
If you're going to heal, SAY SO, so we know to hang back. Don't go after Smokers or Hunters you saw behind us in the distance, just inform the team of the threat and KEEP MOVING. The infected have to keep moving too in order to catch us, so a Smoker hanging back won't be doing much if we ignore him. If YOU go after him, by yourself, you're a fucking idiot, because the Smoker sees you, you probably won't see him or his tongue, and then you're in trouble, and fucking things up for the rest of us. And if you need to do anything that requires you to be away from the keyboard for more than five fucking seconds, go idle. For the love of god, it's not that hard.

And here, have a GTA-style Francis (who's incidentally my favourite Survivor):



I've also been getting back to TF2 and I would appear to be a kickass Pyro (my brand new most kills record is 20) while I've nearly completely lost my touch with both Soldier and Demo (although it is debatable if I ever really HAD any touch with either, oh well).