I demand more nerfing.

Well well well. Last night I had the best melée only times on a random server with Sonneteer, one of her friends and a bunch of random people (who were awesome and immediately agreed on melee only rules). We melée only-ed our way through several maps and had heaps of fun - well at least I did. Naturally it lead into several interesting records, my max kills as a Medic is 7, and damage dealt about 1,400. My max kills as a Scout is 4, and my max captures as a Pyro is 9 and max points 24, which makes me rage a bit, because it's the same as my Medic record and dammit, I'm trying to keep my "career class" the one with the most points.
Also scored a few achievements, I actually got Sawbones completely out of the blue during a match in CTF Turbine (which sucks, by the way). What's funny is that the enemy players were Scouts at that point, so I got Sawbones by killing Scouts. That's... pretty wtf.
And dammit it feels like such a waste to run around with a full übercharge. And because I kept using the Übersaw (although it's admittedly inferior to the normal bonesaw in melee only matches), I had a full charge nearly all the time. I came pretty damn close to getting Placebo Effect, though (got killed when I was one kill away from it).

And I've actually never heard the "You vant a second opinion? You are also UGLY!" in game before. Couldn't stop laughing after my Medic yelled it after a few bonesaw kills.

I also got lots of progress to Peer Review, since Sonneteer was mostly playing as a Medic, and in the enemy team. She dominated me a few times, though, insane crazy crit streaks, dammit: I get out of respawn, attack her and immediately get critted in the face. So I get out of respawn, striving to kick her ass this time, and again I get critted in the face. And with the annoying fanfare the game informs me that I have a new nemesis.
It was hilarious. Crit magnet, I am.



I also got a few Pyro achievements. OMGWTFBBQ I got completely consciously, and dammit it truly is the most amazing thing EVER to kill someone with a Hadouken. And melee only of course inspires a great deal of taunting, so at some point I got Freezer Burn. And I'm 2/3 through Dance Dance Immolation. Getting Lumberjack goes almost without saying. And all of those lead into this:



Which means that I finally have hands-on impressions about the Backburner's overpowered-ness.
And yeah, I was playing on my own computer for a change, hence the crappy graphics and smaller resolution. Yes, I had the 20 fps handicap. Made the whole melee thing pretty difficult, but at least I got used to it after a few minutes of whining about it (ahaha serious handicap: playing with the Übersaw AND 20 fps, I wonder how well I would've done with the regular bonesaw and on my little brother's computer).

But the Backburner. Is the cutest little thing ever (it has a face!), and also very, very good at one thing: defeating its very purpose. Stick with me. So the Backburner gives 100% crit change from behind. I don't know how flawed the recognition was before the latest batch (which apparently fixed it), but it feels pretty alright: the enemy has to have your back right at you or else it won't work. I didn't even once get crits from the side or from the front, but then again sometimes I didn't get them from the back either. I suppose that could be because of lag, so I won't blame the game being broken. The Backburner also provides the Pyro with a +50 HP increase, and this is where the weapon defeats its purpose.
Valve said, and I quote, "This flamethrower is built for the Pyro who likes to ambush their opponents [...] To aid in survivability, it grants the Pyro an extra fifty health." Which means that the Backburner is supposed to be the ultimate ambushing weapon with the guaranteed crits from the back, and the health buff helping in making a getaway after the ambush.
With the health buff the Pyro has 225 HP, which is more than the Soldier has and only falling 75 HP short from the Heavy. Now add a Medic, and the Pyro has 318 HP - more than the Heavy has normally. The Pyro has no reason to ambush his enemies anymore. What with the flamethrower's damage fall-off reduced, the Pyro doesn't even need the crits to be a total killing machine in close range. And the +50 HP really aids with survivability, because you can just hit and run, and remain almost unscathed. Sure you can still ambush enemies, good for you, it's just that with the Backburner you don't have to. It affected my mentality immediately after I noticed that I could get away with almost anything: I just charged head-first at Demomen and Soldiers, even goddamned Heavies, took some damage, set everything afire (or in Heavies' cases circle-strafed them to death), and ran away to get a medkit or find a Medic and ready myself for the next attack. And dammit it worked, and felt so much more useful than waiting silently in ambush just to get a few crits. I don't think the weapon is balanced if it can be "abused" in such a way.
Dammit, the Pyro was good the way he was, I never felt he was underpowered. Backburner would be a good and balanced weapon if you removed the health buff, because then the Pyro would be forced to go back to ambushing, and the Backburner would be the more effective ambushing weapon with the guaranteed crits, while the regular flamethrower would be more suitable for other confrontations because of the ability to deflect projectiles and thus get right at Soldiers' and Demomen's faces. Now the Backburner is a clear upgrade from the regular flamethower instead of an alternative weapon.

I wish Valve would realise this and remove the health buff. And dammit, this comes from a Pyro player who refuses to use the Backburner from now on, simply because it is ridiculously overpowered (and because I like the airburst).



And that's my 2 cents on the matter of the Pyro unlockables. NERF, VALVE. NERF.

I also played as Engineer a bit (because it's the easiest class to play with my low fps), and I've never randomly left my sentry in a more suitable moment: we were attacking in Dustbowl's third stage, and I saw our other Engineer (the team was whining about "too many Engineers" and I agreed, because when you attack you don't need but one Engineer if he can keep his act together) building his own sentry. I was BORED because I had just sat about five minutes behind my sentry, waiting for some action, so I fucked off to help him build the thing. I figured that okay, if he insists on being an Enigneer, at least his sentry should cover our back in case mine gets taken down, so I better help him with it (and I'm all for "All for one and one for all" attitude when I'm an Engineer, I help my comrades as much as I can, and then rage when they don't return the favour. Selfish fuckwit Engineers are the cancer that's killing my will to play the class).
And while I'm there I see a goddamn übered enemy Demo coming around the corner and starting to chuck stickies at my sentry. So what do I do? Upgrade the friendly sentry to second level, watch it massacre the Demo and his Medic, and then just simply return to my dispenser to put my sentry up again.
Damn. If I hadn't left I had probably died, because I'm still stupid enough to stay and hope that the Demo wouldn't kill ME too. And my colleague's poor little first level sentry would've probably been goners as well. I would've lost my dispenser AND my teleporter exit which kept our team pushing mercilessly. And we would've had to fall back.
And this, gentlemen, is why I was an MVP on Dustbowl's third stage, playing as an Engineer in BLU. I've never seen an Engineer being an MVP in the attacking team on third stage. And most of my points? Teleports. The main reason I even build a sentry was to protect the teleporter exit, I didn't really care if I got any kills (didn't, really, I got maybe three or four), as long as the sentry kept enemies from charging at us and destroying the teleporter. And at least we won, so it must've been a successful effort.

I'm thinking of going Strictly Engineer for a day.

Random tales~

No, I haven't played at all after the update hit my Steam. Same old story, time zones. And that I'm playing on my little brother's terms. I'm waiting him to wake up, maybe I could get a few hours in before I have to join my friends in a delicious Midsummer barbeque fest.

Aaanyway, now I bring some screenshots of my recent awesomeness. And some random tales.

So I played for, I think, almost ten hours yesterday. My little brother is appalled by the high ping I always play with (what can I do, my favourite servers are all on the east coast of the US, which means at least 150 ping for me), so he talked me over to try playing on some other server with not quite as high ping.
So I just randomly chose some Multiplay.co.uk server from the list. Okay, so, I didn't notice any change whatsoever although my ping was only about 60, but I was once again reminded of the fact that the "newbies" on the Newbies Only servers? Are not newbies by long shot.
The skill level is higher on Newbies Only servers than it has been on any other server that I've played on.

Because it went something like this (and I loved that Medic. Good thing he loved me back. Kritzkrieg mmmm...):



And this (although this has got nothing to do with skill, I just got three insane crits in a row: first one missed, second one killed the first guy and the third got two. I think the enemy team started whining, and even I had to admit that it was pretty fucking ridiculous):



And ended up in this (insane amount of deaths because the highest-scoring Heavy in the enemy team was ridiculously good. I freaking cheered the first time I managed to separate his little Medic bitch from him by juggling him into the air, and then assault him ferociously until nothing was left of him but a pile of gibs. I loved the challenge, maybe I even learned something):



But the most important thing I learned from that server, was that I indeed hate instant respawn and that it completely destroys the game balance. Instant fucking respawn should be mentioned in the server description, dammit.
I've never before played with instant respawn, but I've always figured that it can't be good. How could BLU ever win for example Dustbowl if RED had instant respawn? If the teams are even, there's no way.
Instant respawn is just plain stupid. And if you think it's not, I think you should slowly step away from Team Fortress 2 and go back to playing the deathmatch style game of your choice. I hear UT3 is pretty good.
Because yeah, sure, I was having buckets of fun playing on Gold Rush's first stage only. I was in BLU, we pushed and pushed but never fucking got the last checkpoint because whenever we killed the Soldier trying to stop us, it only took a couple of seconds and the same Soldier was back trying to stop us. And if we died, we had to travel all the way back to the final checkpoint, while RED had all the time in the world to fortify their defenses.
When I was in RED, we just ran out of respawn without any worries, even if BLU had almost reached the final checkpoint. We always made it there in time. Besides, it just felt bloody stupid dying, and immediately being back in the game, just to die again after few seconds. I like the little cooldown longer respawn times provide.
And instant respawn promotes hardcore spawncamping.
The most annoying thing was to get killed three fucking times during humiliation. First near the checkpoint, then in my respawn by some spawncamping fucker and then AGAIN by the rest of the enemy team who had ran to our respawn with their guns blazing. AARGH.

So yeah, I know 30-second respawn can be fucking tedious to wait out on the last stages of Dustbowl and Gold Rush, but it's the game balance. It's the way the game was meant to be played: to offer both teams equal opportunity to win the map, so that it only comes down to teamwork and skill.

What else? I got bored of the instant-respawn-provided endless fragging pretty fast, so I went back to playing on my regular servers and the good ol' 150 ping. Mostly played as Soldier and Heavy.
But then:



YES. I ACTUALLY WENT SPY.
AND I SUCKED!
All because my little brother wanted to know how Spy does the disguising stuff, so I showed him. And then I was standing in the respawn, as a Spy, disguised and cloaked, and decided to fuck it, I'll play Spy.
It took me maybe three tries to even kill anyone, I was so nervous and my hands were shaking and I kept running into people and oh god it was terrible. Then I finally backstabbed someone, felt less nervous, and actually had pretty much fun while trying to be inconspicuous and kill Medics and Heavies, but I'm still a goddamn rotten Spy.
And I facestabbed someone - damn lag.

Also the most embarrassing death ever: I was hanging around on the upstairs of the warehouse cap, undisguised, and trying to remember which was the "last disguise used" shortcut key. And I accidentally pressed G.
And while the taunt animations played through, I saw a friendly Pyro passing me by. And because I have a sixth sense for Spies, I immediately went OH GOD THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, and naturally got backstabbed by the goddamn enemy Spy while taunting. He of course proceeded to taunting right back and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

After Granary I tried some Spying on Dustbowl, but missed the first stage entirely because my team just steamrolled right through, and at the second stage I started concentrating on taking down sentries.
And I'm the worst at sapping stuff. Haha. I can't understand how Spies DO IT, I just do drive-by-sapping. I run past the buildings, cloaked, tapping left-click like a maniac and then beeline straight towards some safe place to hide and stop my heart from beating hard enough to hurt, haha. I kill a lot of dispensers! Once I got a level three sentry! Although I started to think that the Engie must've let me just sap the thing, first watching for half a round how I fail enormously at sappin' and stabbin' and then feeling kinda bad for the little newbie Spy and letting me have the sentry. Because I can't imagine why an Engineer wouldn't save his sentry, on Dustbowl's stage two's last point, no less. And I am sure I saw him standing around when I ran past. Grrrr, that Engineer!
And I can't imagine how anyone could sap AND stab, my mind and hands are completely full just trying to sap anything and get out alive.
And there was one server regular playing with me and going all what the hell Chrome, I thought you hated the Spy. Haha. I have no idea why he would think that, maybe because I never play as Spy. I told him that I kinda like the Spy, I just suck as one so I don't play it that often. I'm trying to learn, though.
And fuck yeah, I wanna learn. So more Spying in the future.
I got sick of being a bad sapping-deficient Spy by the end of stage two, though, so I went back to being Soldier. As usually happens.

And I was training for the Pyro achievements:



I have no idea. I saw a completely unaware Sniper, and because axe kills are so much more fun than flamethrower kills, I killed the Sniper with the axe. And then I turned around to see a Demoman, and charged right at him, waving the axe. I love it how some Demomen go into total panic if an enemy gets too close for comfort. Heee. Skilled ones of course pull out the bottle, and the kamikaze ones lay stickies at their feet while backing away, not really caring if they die as long as they take me with them. This one panicked and just started backing away chucking grenades past me. So he got ax'd.
And after that I ran out, still on battle high from the awesome axe kills, saw million Medics and racked four kills within few seconds and the fifth after I was already dead, making it one of the most successful Pyro runs I've had in a while. It was awesome. Even my little brother was pretty impressed.

I guess that wraps it up. Next post, Pyro stuff! I hope.

A quick edit: OH SNAP, did Robin Walker just refer to Pyro as her? Oh u, stop playing with our heads. <3

"Dad? Dad, put mum on the phone."

Yeah, I'm late to blogging about this, so without further ado, some extremely amazing things are heading this way some time tomorrow.
I've been following the news about the update ever since Steam told me it would be coming this week, but for a change I'm being a lazy blogger.

Also, Meet the Sniper, which immediately became my favourite yet (Meet the Soldier used to be my fav). Extremely well-done, seems like Valve kicked it up a notch after Meet the Scout, which was, in my opinion, a bit of a let-down. Demoman's little slapstick act was priceless (nooo, his good eye!), I lol'd at FOAD and the "I think his mate saw me. Yes, yes he did," (bit of Steve Irwin, eh?) and the whole parents thing was hilarious. I also always kinda imagined Sniper as an enormous prick, but whaddaya know, he's a really laid-back (resisted the urge to write "mellow") fellow. He's even pretty charismatic! Outrageous!
And noticing Pyro wielding a new flare-gun-like bright blue weapon that later turned out to be the Flare Gun was a source of much speculation and anticipation. Sneaky, so sneaky, Valve.



Jars of piss!

But! The Pyro update. I'm actually really looking forward to it, especially now after seeing what the unlockables are. Pyro is my fourth most played class with 30 hours, I like playing as one (although I don't play it that often on any other map but Hydro and sometimes CP Well), and I like to think that I'm not entirely horrible at it.
So Backburner is a massive DO WANT for me, since I'm always doing everything I can to get behind enemies' backs whenever I am playing as Pyro. Flare Gun sounds awesome indeed for teasing Snipers and Engineers, and Axtinguisher... well, sure, I want to have one, but I'm more afraid of what it will do to ME when I'm not Pyro. Guaranteed crit when you are on fire sounds... terrible. As if good circle-strafers don't kill me well enough when I'm playing as Heavy!

And sure, as a Pyro player I am really liking the sound of the changes to the regular flamethrower. Being able to deflect projectiles definitely helps a bit with the long range disability that Pyros have been suffering from day one. I mean, Pyro is supposed to be THE close range combat class whose defect IS the fact that they can't fight worth shit over long range, forcing players to seek ways to ambush enemies. Which made especially Soldiers somewhat overpowered against Pyros. Pyros still can't attack over long range (the new Flare Gun being the exception, but the tradeoff with that is the inability to finish off burning enemies), but they can defend theirselves, which improves their chances to survive. Which has been the number one turn-off at playing a Pyro: they generally don't live for very long.
So, excellent.
I also suppose there's gotta be some drawback to using the alt-fire (a few seconds between blows?). Without it all the Pyros would be just running around tapping alt-fire and being basically invulnerable.
/end a Captain Obvious moment.
What doesn't make me happy about the new change is naturally the fact that I play a lot as a Soldier.

Story time: I've told many times how I'm extremely weak against Pyros as a Soldier. I get owned by the BAD Pyros, those who charge right at me from distance rather than try ambushing me. I am never able to actually hit them and a confrontation with a Pyro ended in my death nine times out of ten.
That's how it used to be. Now that I'm only playing with good framerate instead of the sucky 20 (more on that later), Pyros don't actually stand a chance against me. Ever since I started playing with good framerate I can't remember a single Pyro actually killing me by charging right at me (when I'm on full health), and even if they DID kill me (afterburn is a bitch), at least they didn't walk out of it alive.
So I was actually never weak against Pyros, it was my low framerate handicap all along (I never even realised how much the bad framerate actually affected my playing). Now I just hit their feet with a rocket, send them flying, and aim another at where they land, and BOOM. So much for that.
(Btw, juggling enemies is awesome, I was never able to do it before.)
But now they're able to deflect my rockets, so, umm, I'm afraid I'll start getting owned by Pyros (and my own rockets...) again.
And the question is: if a deflected rocket kills the Soldier that had fired it, does the Pyro get a kill or a finish, or is it marked off as a suicide? We'll see.

But back to the Pyro update. It would also seem that Valve learned something from the impossible Medic achievements ("impossible" standing for "impossible to get during normal gameplay without acting like a total dick"), and all the Pyro achievements seem like something that anyone would be able to get while playing normally and doing just what Pyros do. I know it won't stop people from farming the achievements, but at least any achievement-seeking Pyros won't probably ruin gameplay for others.
I figure it will take quite a while to get Makin' Bacon, though, ha ha.

I am also wondering if achievements like Firefighter, Fire Chief and Pyromancer will take your existing stats to account, like Intern, Specialist and Chief of Staff did. Because it would seem that I'll be getting both Firefighter and Fire Chief right away, since I have 1,339 kills as a Pyro. I'm far away from Pyromancer, though, my damage dealt is only at 365,998. Ehh. That guarantees that it will take a good while until I get to enjoy from the Axtinguisher (yes, all the other achievements seem like something that I will and can get sooner or later).

Also OMGWTFBBQ raises an interesting question: does the Hadouken taunt actually do damage from now on?! If, it will be the most awesome thing ever.



And I'm so happy of getting two community-made custom maps wrapped in an official package. <3 I've been playing basically nothing but Dustbowl and Gold Rush for the last month or so (still not getting tired of them), because, you know. All other maps bore the hell out of me. I'd rather watch grass grow than play even a single game on 2fort.
I wonder if Turbine will make CTF fun.

I guess that wraps it up. I don't know if I'll be able to get to play the moment the update comes out (since I believe Valve hasn't given any specific ETA for the update - maybe they're actually learning...), but I am trying to. I don't think I'll be playing as Pyro (and add to the inevitable influx of gasmask-clad, gimp-suit-wearing, flamethrower-wielding pyromaniacs), but I certainly want to try out the new maps. I am itching to start getting the achievements and trying out the new flamethrower, but I think I will wait for the initial excitement to die out, just like I did with the Medic update.

So, "I'm only playing with good framerate instead of the sucky 20." That's right. I've been playing on my little brother's computer the last few weeks. He moved out two weeks ago (I am staying at my parents' house for the summer), so I thought I wouldn't get to play on his computer any more. So I sucked it up and tried playing on my own.
And I found it impossible. All the killing I did as a Soldier was out of luck. Playing as Medic was also nigh impossible with all the twitching: locking onto new targets was a total bitch. Playing as Heavy was completely out of question. The whole thing only made me angry.
So luckily my little brother is the most awesome little brother in the history of ever, and doesn't mind at all if I come over and spend a few hours playing TF2. I thought he wouldn't want his big sis hanging around his new pad (despite the fact that we're kinda close as siblings), but whaddaya know, I was wrong.
Of course there's something in it for him: I let him play Sniper every once in a while, and he doesn't have to buy the game just for snipan gaems. So from now, whenever you see me as a Sniper, it's my little brother.
I naturally can't play quite as often as I'm used to playing, but I'm happy if I can play few times a week with a good freaking framerate, until I get paid enough to buy myself a brand spanking new computer.

I also noticed it's not just my imagination that I'm a much better player with good framerate. I've been playing mostly on a 24/7 Dustbowl/Gold Rush server lately, so I went to check the server's stats at its Gametracker page, and much to my joy I noticed that my points per minute average was 0.75. Yeah, I know, not that good when you think about it, but stick with me. I've been checking my stats on my regular servers every now and then (because I'm a stats whore, you should know this by now) and they've mostly been around 0.4. In fact, my score/min average was around 0.5 on that server the last time I checked (before starting to play on my little brother's computer), so I really did get better. A lot better, in fact.
I'd provide screenshots of my recent awesomeness, but I'm afraid all the screenshots are on my little brothers' computer. Duh. Will show some at a later date.

And now for something completely different:
I've also been playing some Metal Gear Solid 4, but more on that later (this entry is long enough as it is). Long story short: it's made of awesome, I love it, and I'm dying to play it more. I have to play it on my friend's terms (the friend owns the PS3, see), so I've only had a massive eight hours of playtime as of now.

Axan gaemz!

Today's biggest accomplishment: there's this regular guy on the server I usually play on, and he's a pretty good player. Better than me, for sure. I see him sometimes go Pyro and only use the axe to fight (I don't know if he does it to show off, or is he doing it just for fun, since I don't know how much owning he does with the axe). Which is kinda annoying when you're Pyro yourself, you know, other Pyros being flame retardant and everything... so I've gotten axed to death by him several times. And I particularly hate dying from melée weapons, because it's always kinda embarrassing.
So today I'm Pyro in Hydro, he's Pyro and I see he's doing his axing games again, running at me with the axe in hand. I retreat because oh shitfuck he's gonna kill me again, but at some point I just stop backing away, thinking that okay, I'm gonna play his game. So I whip out my axe and the world literally stops. :D It really felt like it, because there was this insane battling going around, but just as I get out the axe and engage him in melée, the battle just seems to die out and it's just me and him, epic fire axe deathmatch.
It was pretty awesome, gotta tell you.
Especially since I actually killed him (it was a really tough fight, I was left with like 30 HP), and felt preeetty darn good after that. :3 He's not the only badass Pyro around anymore!

Also had the strangest CP_Well matches yet, because, uh, I was kinda on top of the scoreboard as a Pyro. Few minutes after the match began I had three times as much points as the player who was the second highest scorer in my team, and twice as much as the enemy team's highest scoring player. I seriously went wtf at that. And it's not that I got really lucky with crits or anything, the enemy team just... it was as if they just looked at me and DIED.
Our team's collective ass was eventually kicked and at some point someone on the enemy team pointed out that "Lol just look at Chrome's score," and I took a look at the scoreboard and I'm STILL the highest scorer, and I still have twice as much points as the next player in our team. At some point the enemies changed their Scout rushing tactics into Pyro rushing tactics (aww, aren't I influential?) and that's when I started getting my personal ass kicked (I'm kinda weak against Pyros), but I still kept at it pretty well.
I still like being good at things.

And I want to kick parents who let their pre-pubescent kids play games like TF2, swear like sailors and act like complete idiots full of themselves over the voicechat. I'm all up for letting kids play as long as they understand that the game is make-believe and you know, watching over them while they play and maybe teach them some manners on how to not annoy everyone if you're going to use the mic, but Jesus Christ every parent who lets their kid play FPS games unsupervised should be neutered. There was this kid today, acting like he was the best player in the universe, calling every other player a noob and an idiot, and just... fuck this, fuck that, you're such a faggot, and so on and so on. He said he was thirteen, but I seriously didn't believe that. I'd say he was nine, ten max.

Halo multiplayer, I know, rite? (Haven't played myself, but I've heard my share of horror stories).