Random tales~

No, I haven't played at all after the update hit my Steam. Same old story, time zones. And that I'm playing on my little brother's terms. I'm waiting him to wake up, maybe I could get a few hours in before I have to join my friends in a delicious Midsummer barbeque fest.

Aaanyway, now I bring some screenshots of my recent awesomeness. And some random tales.

So I played for, I think, almost ten hours yesterday. My little brother is appalled by the high ping I always play with (what can I do, my favourite servers are all on the east coast of the US, which means at least 150 ping for me), so he talked me over to try playing on some other server with not quite as high ping.
So I just randomly chose some Multiplay.co.uk server from the list. Okay, so, I didn't notice any change whatsoever although my ping was only about 60, but I was once again reminded of the fact that the "newbies" on the Newbies Only servers? Are not newbies by long shot.
The skill level is higher on Newbies Only servers than it has been on any other server that I've played on.

Because it went something like this (and I loved that Medic. Good thing he loved me back. Kritzkrieg mmmm...):



And this (although this has got nothing to do with skill, I just got three insane crits in a row: first one missed, second one killed the first guy and the third got two. I think the enemy team started whining, and even I had to admit that it was pretty fucking ridiculous):



And ended up in this (insane amount of deaths because the highest-scoring Heavy in the enemy team was ridiculously good. I freaking cheered the first time I managed to separate his little Medic bitch from him by juggling him into the air, and then assault him ferociously until nothing was left of him but a pile of gibs. I loved the challenge, maybe I even learned something):



But the most important thing I learned from that server, was that I indeed hate instant respawn and that it completely destroys the game balance. Instant fucking respawn should be mentioned in the server description, dammit.
I've never before played with instant respawn, but I've always figured that it can't be good. How could BLU ever win for example Dustbowl if RED had instant respawn? If the teams are even, there's no way.
Instant respawn is just plain stupid. And if you think it's not, I think you should slowly step away from Team Fortress 2 and go back to playing the deathmatch style game of your choice. I hear UT3 is pretty good.
Because yeah, sure, I was having buckets of fun playing on Gold Rush's first stage only. I was in BLU, we pushed and pushed but never fucking got the last checkpoint because whenever we killed the Soldier trying to stop us, it only took a couple of seconds and the same Soldier was back trying to stop us. And if we died, we had to travel all the way back to the final checkpoint, while RED had all the time in the world to fortify their defenses.
When I was in RED, we just ran out of respawn without any worries, even if BLU had almost reached the final checkpoint. We always made it there in time. Besides, it just felt bloody stupid dying, and immediately being back in the game, just to die again after few seconds. I like the little cooldown longer respawn times provide.
And instant respawn promotes hardcore spawncamping.
The most annoying thing was to get killed three fucking times during humiliation. First near the checkpoint, then in my respawn by some spawncamping fucker and then AGAIN by the rest of the enemy team who had ran to our respawn with their guns blazing. AARGH.

So yeah, I know 30-second respawn can be fucking tedious to wait out on the last stages of Dustbowl and Gold Rush, but it's the game balance. It's the way the game was meant to be played: to offer both teams equal opportunity to win the map, so that it only comes down to teamwork and skill.

What else? I got bored of the instant-respawn-provided endless fragging pretty fast, so I went back to playing on my regular servers and the good ol' 150 ping. Mostly played as Soldier and Heavy.
But then:



YES. I ACTUALLY WENT SPY.
AND I SUCKED!
All because my little brother wanted to know how Spy does the disguising stuff, so I showed him. And then I was standing in the respawn, as a Spy, disguised and cloaked, and decided to fuck it, I'll play Spy.
It took me maybe three tries to even kill anyone, I was so nervous and my hands were shaking and I kept running into people and oh god it was terrible. Then I finally backstabbed someone, felt less nervous, and actually had pretty much fun while trying to be inconspicuous and kill Medics and Heavies, but I'm still a goddamn rotten Spy.
And I facestabbed someone - damn lag.

Also the most embarrassing death ever: I was hanging around on the upstairs of the warehouse cap, undisguised, and trying to remember which was the "last disguise used" shortcut key. And I accidentally pressed G.
And while the taunt animations played through, I saw a friendly Pyro passing me by. And because I have a sixth sense for Spies, I immediately went OH GOD THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, and naturally got backstabbed by the goddamn enemy Spy while taunting. He of course proceeded to taunting right back and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

After Granary I tried some Spying on Dustbowl, but missed the first stage entirely because my team just steamrolled right through, and at the second stage I started concentrating on taking down sentries.
And I'm the worst at sapping stuff. Haha. I can't understand how Spies DO IT, I just do drive-by-sapping. I run past the buildings, cloaked, tapping left-click like a maniac and then beeline straight towards some safe place to hide and stop my heart from beating hard enough to hurt, haha. I kill a lot of dispensers! Once I got a level three sentry! Although I started to think that the Engie must've let me just sap the thing, first watching for half a round how I fail enormously at sappin' and stabbin' and then feeling kinda bad for the little newbie Spy and letting me have the sentry. Because I can't imagine why an Engineer wouldn't save his sentry, on Dustbowl's stage two's last point, no less. And I am sure I saw him standing around when I ran past. Grrrr, that Engineer!
And I can't imagine how anyone could sap AND stab, my mind and hands are completely full just trying to sap anything and get out alive.
And there was one server regular playing with me and going all what the hell Chrome, I thought you hated the Spy. Haha. I have no idea why he would think that, maybe because I never play as Spy. I told him that I kinda like the Spy, I just suck as one so I don't play it that often. I'm trying to learn, though.
And fuck yeah, I wanna learn. So more Spying in the future.
I got sick of being a bad sapping-deficient Spy by the end of stage two, though, so I went back to being Soldier. As usually happens.

And I was training for the Pyro achievements:



I have no idea. I saw a completely unaware Sniper, and because axe kills are so much more fun than flamethrower kills, I killed the Sniper with the axe. And then I turned around to see a Demoman, and charged right at him, waving the axe. I love it how some Demomen go into total panic if an enemy gets too close for comfort. Heee. Skilled ones of course pull out the bottle, and the kamikaze ones lay stickies at their feet while backing away, not really caring if they die as long as they take me with them. This one panicked and just started backing away chucking grenades past me. So he got ax'd.
And after that I ran out, still on battle high from the awesome axe kills, saw million Medics and racked four kills within few seconds and the fifth after I was already dead, making it one of the most successful Pyro runs I've had in a while. It was awesome. Even my little brother was pretty impressed.

I guess that wraps it up. Next post, Pyro stuff! I hope.

A quick edit: OH SNAP, did Robin Walker just refer to Pyro as her? Oh u, stop playing with our heads. <3

Hee hee.

HA! This ain't so hard:



And I didn't even have a Medic stick to me, they all ditched me right after setup (Medics really hate me, even when I'm doing well they hate me. Then again, I do better without Medics because I get so nervous when I have one and if they über me... well, I start failing in epic proportions) so I plowed my way through the stage all by myself.
And that Dustbowl match ended in 54 kills, 32 assist and dominating half of the other team, so all in all I'm suddenly doing pretty well as a Heavy. I have no idea what happened.
But the most surprising round was another match in Dustbowl. I joined the server in the middle of stage two, after the first point had been capped, and still ended up as an MVP. That was kinda cool.

I'm also surprisingly good at reserving ammo. I've played a LOT as Heavy last night, and only ran out of ammo once. And that was right after an über (thank god not in the middle of it). It's probably because I've got so used to playing Soldier, and I'm nearly neurotic about keeping my reserve rockets over 10 at all times.
But yeah, I was quite sure I'd end up chewing through my ammo in a matter of seconds and not realising to scavenge dropped weapons, but luckily that was not the case.

And playing as Heavy makes me hate Snipers even more. Like I told you, I have this intense fear of (good) Snipers, I choke whenever I see a Sniper dot or the tall figure in the distance and I send a suppressive rocket their way and I try to run and jump and be unpredictable and "D:" and hoping they wouldn't hit me but I know that I'm dead and yes, they always hit me.
And because I'm often playing with such a high ping, I often think that HA I MADE IT after I make it behind something, and half a second later I get hit. Damn lag. Same thing with Heavies: I think I managed to dodge their hail of bullets with 20 or so HP left and damn, still they hit me when I'm already behind the corner. Well at least I know it's my ping, and don't go accusing anyone of HAXORZ. Same thing with facestabs.
But anyway, I hated Snipers as a Soldier because I'm slow and everything, so I'm pretty easy to hit, but at least firing rockets at them makes them retreat instead of continuing to take aim (unless they're already aimed to my giant head, and one click away from a fully charged headshot of doom), and I can escape unscathed (or at least with a few HP left from a failed headshot), but with Heavy? Shooting at them from the other side of the goddamn map does nothing and is hardly an effective way to make them retreat, so most of the time the dispute ends in me being quite dead. I had one goddamn Sniper dominate me on Dustbowl's third stage last night. Whenever I as much as peeked around the last corner - BOOM! Headshot. And there was no way to kill him, goddamn, before I saw which side he was on and proceeded to shoot at him in vain, he would just calmly take aim and dispose of me. And the Heavy is slow as heck, especially when spinning Sasha, so there is no way to get out of harm's way when I'm shooting. Damn Snipers. And of course my team had no Snipers to draw his attention, so I was pretty much screwed.
And I hate Snipers on Gold Rush, oh god I hate them so much.

What does kinda ruin playing Heavy for me is my lousy framerate (I'm getting a constant 20 - yes, I can't WAIT to buy a new goddamn graphics card). Low framerate and lag make it sure that circle-strafers kill me so thoroughly it's not even funny (and I should probably adjust my mouse sensitivity whenever I'm playing as Heavy). I hate getting bonked to death. Damn Spies fail a backstab and then just easily circle around me to try it again. And Pyros? Oh god. I just flail and shoot and try to turn and close but no cigar.

And a funny story of WHY Medics shouldn't EVER über me: I'm Heavy, Slaverstrike's Medic, and he's sticking to me during some Gold Rush setup. I tell him that übering me isn't a really good idea, you should know, I'll waste it anyway, go find someone else to give it to, but he insists on giving it to me. So, the setup ends, the gates open, we rush out and he übers me.
And a second after the charge hits me, the game freezes. It goes completely dead. I literally LOL, and I laugh while waiting for my computer to restart (yeah, it was one of those wonderful little crashes when nothing but restarting works) and oh god, it was priceless. Had to tell Slaverstrike "TOLD YOU SO!" (and apologise for actually wasting his über) and hahahaha oh wow.
We only make a good team when I'M the Medic and HE'S the Heavy. Haha. Other way around it's just something simply atrocious.

Oh yeah, I got complimented as a Medic! The whole thing was pretty far out considering how rotten I am at staying alive, so my Heavy wasn't the only one surprised. We were playing in Hydro, I was following this Heavy around, and I was taking quite a lot of damage. At one point I was in flames, HP dropping dangerously close to zero and we were closing in on the enemy's cap point. And we had another Medic, who of course ignored me completely (I was expecting better out of her, damn it, she's a really good player and I don't think I've ever been as bitter about not getting a heal as I was back then), so the only thing I could do was to follow my Heavy in, with six or so HP left. Ha. He was really worried, telling me to go get some health, but damn it I was THIS close to getting an über, and we were so close to the cap point and I wasn't going to give up, so I kept healing him, almost died of fright when a goddamn Pyro tried to charge us - luckily not from behind - and I got my charge and we hit it and capped the point.
And when the next round started the Heavy told everyone how I had stayed alive for the longest time ever with so little health left and I was going ":3" by myself. That was totally reckless. And awesome as hell. I have a little bit of badass in me.
And damn that Heavy was probably the most polite player I've ever played with. He apologised when he accidentally took the health kit from me (it's hard to not take it when you're trying to get the ammo right next to it) or when he failed to kill the Pyro charging us from behind and killing us, and he fell back when I was taking damage, saying we should wait for a moment so I could regenerate some health and awww. Why can't everyone be like that?
Also damn I love every player who communicates with me when they're running out of ammo and I have a full charge. Not everyone can take sentries down with a goddamn shotgun (I've übered Slaverstrike so many times when he's out of rockets, and he charges a sentry nest with a shotgun and actually takes stuff down with it, but if it was anyone else but him I would probably be pissed), so people, if I'm sticking to you with a full charge, please please please indicate in some way or the other that you're out of ammo if that is the case. Switch to your secondary weapon! Fall back! Use the voicechat! Anything! I hate nothing more than übering a Heavy and all I get is CLICK CLICK CLICK.

SAWRY!

I could talk about Meet the Scout, but, uh. I liked it, but was kinda disappointed because it wasn't nearly as funny as the other Meet the Team videos (my favourite's probably Meet the Soldier). And I felt sorry for the Heavy, the poor guy just wanted a sammich.
Also my Scout hate is bordering serious nerd RAGE because yesterday I was getting dominated by some badass Scouts. Seriously there's nothing I hate more than a good Scout.
And those fuckers always crit when they shoot me. Even today I was killed three times by a goddamn Scout getting a scattergun crit. Stupid Scouts.


(But I can't help it: he is kinda cute. In some really obnoxious way.)

ANY DAY NOW. The update. Could be today, could be tomorrow, eeee, I'm just hoping it won't take forever.

Anyway, back to our usual schedule of wanton babbling:

I had the most awesome match ever in CTF Well a few days ago. Everyone, and I mean everyone went melée. It's never really happened before in my presence (on the servers I usually play on), some go melée and the rest keep playing normally, and it's really not fair, but that's how it goes. Some people don't have a sense of humour. Anyway, this time everyone went melée. 24 players.
I was Medic because, you know, I'm having the Strictly Medic week. And I was actually doing better than I imagined! Even broke my kills record!
And everyone had fun as far as I know, because after the map changed and we found ourselves in Gravel Pit, everyone agreed to continue playing with melée weapons only. I charged cap A with the bonesaw in hand and still holding onto my über (I was playing in BLU). Felt a bit bad for wasting it completely (ie. never actually using it), but at least I was having so much fun. And we won the round, melée only.
I'm still a rotten combat Medic, though, but that was nice practice.

And we make a good team with Slaverstrike, we were steamrolling in CP Well at some point. He was a Soldier, I was a Medic, and in one life we capped two points, I gave him two übers and we were the round's MVPs. :3
I was also THIS close to übering an Engineer in 2fort, but damn it I died just as I right-clicked. Damn stupid something killed me. It would've been so awesome.

And today something happened that made me grin like an idiot for several minutes. I was playing Medic in Gravel Pit, and we were defending. We had somehow lost B, so I was pretty sure we would lose A too, and then battle it out over C. But as I went over to A, I saw we had a quite solid defense going on there. I was pretty much just running around and healing everyone rather than sticking to one person. And then the time's almost out, there's like 30 seconds left, and then BLU breaks through and goes to cap the point. I try to über someone who dies just before the charge kicks in, and there's NO ONE else around, so I just run away in the protection of the über and go get a medkit. There are about five people standing on the point, I wait for a second for someone to come, and much to my chagrin I notice that my entire team's apparently dead.
So I whip out the bonesaw and charge the goddamn point by myself. Luckily I crit, kill an Engineer before anyone even realises what's happening, and then proceed to waving the bonesaw around and reducing the entire group to half-dead state, and it takes them FOREVER to kill me.
I eventually die, but I'm grinning from ear to ear while waiting to respawn because that was probably the most awesome thing I've ever done. And I watch as my teammates arrive to the point a couple of seconds after my death and decimate the enemies, stopping the capture, and we won the round. If I hadn't been there to prevent the capture for the few seconds, BLU would've probably capped the point. And I was the number one MVP for the round. It really pays off to heal and buff EVERYONE.
The best part? My Medic screamed "MUST I DEFEND ZIS POINT BY MYSELF?!" and laughed like a maniac (I love Medic's laugh) when I charged in and killed the Engineer. AWESOME.
My best combat Medic moment ever.
I've actually never played a game in Gravel Pit so that only B is capped (a shutout I've seen, since I have the achievement). A is such a bitch to defend. But apparently it's possible. We had fuckloads of Engineers, though.

And after that we played in Dustbowl and after capping Stage One, the Heavy I was healing in the previous round tells me that I'm one of the best Medics he's seen on the server (he's a regular, I've been healing him maaany times before. IIRC he was the Heavy I was healing in Gravel Pit when our team was pretty lost and the guy who played the Scout whined that his team sucks). And I start the round by smiling like an idiot.
I'm seriously not THAT good a Medic (not while there are so many better server regular Medics around, even had one in our team), but I'm really happy to hear that at least someone thinks that I don't suck.
Btw, this was after the most risky cap I've ever done, goddamn, I'm hanging around in the tunnel with the one-way door, getting my über up, and the Heavy charges in and immediately out of the doors because the last cap was half-capped, and apparently the defenses were down. I'm THIS close to getting the über, but I decide to follow the Heavy and try to keep him alive, maybe we could cap without the über (besides, points don't cap when you're übered, so while we wait the über to go out, the RED have more time to get on the point and defend). We kill everyone on the point, get on it and cap it. And just as we cap I get the über and naturally I proceed to übering the Heavy for maximum humiliation effect.

I was also practising to stay alive today. There was actually three or four times I stayed alive for three consecutive übers. One of those was an entire Dustbowl round, we defended and won with a shutout (I even joined the game after setup time, so I didn't have the setup charge up when I went to the battle).
But yeah, it seems that three's the magic number, I ALWAYS die after the third über.
And yeah, of course I probably would've gotten six or so übers with all the healing I did in the Gravel Pit match, but I'm not going to waste the charges, that's for sure. And I'm certain that if I use the über to take out an odd Soldier, the REAL attack force comes in right after that and then I don't have the über when we need one. And that's why I also DIE way too often while holding a full charge.

But yeah, I was doing pretty well today, all in all. More of this, and more of melée only Well matches.

So, last night

I was looking through my TF2 screenshots and was pretty surprised to see that actually I've become quite a better Soldier during these few months. Of course it would be kinda sad if I hadn't learned anything (apart from rocketjumping), having those 54 hours of playtime as Soldier, but I couldn't actually remember being much worse Soldier than I am now. Not until I saw some scoreboard screenshots taken in the end of January, and remembering that oh yeah, I was the worst Soldier ever before I started getting hang of it in February.

And god did I lol.

Here, this is me as Soldier in 28th of January:


And this is me as Soldier last week:


See any difference? Haha. At least I compensate my (still pretty) insane amount of deaths with actually getting some kills.
That's a pathetic amount of destructions for me, btw, I usually have more than ten when I'm Soldier. I really like to kill them sentries.
Also, I have no idea are those stats any good at all, but I think they're pretty good for me (I'd like to NOT get killed so much, but it would seem that every freaking class crits whenever they fire at me. Especially Scouts and Heavies. Pyros don't have to crit, since they kill me either way, but umm. And I'm suicidal and still making stupid mistakes which get me killed, and that's what proves that I'm not that good a Soldier). And look at it this way: I COULD BE DOING SO MUCH WORSE.

(Oh wow crappy JPEG compression.)

GG-ing

Guys, guys, I actually rocket-jumped to Cap C in Gravel Pit today! It was awesome! We were about to cap the thing, but defenders killed whoever was trying to cap it, and I was just coming from Cap B and thought "OKAY THEN, I'm gonna try to jump up there and rain some doom on them and cap it, and if it fails, I'll take it like a man!" and I jumped on the hut and fired a rocket and I DID IT.
Best part: we capped the point immediately and it was awesome.
Look, a screenshot:



And do you know what happened right after I took the screenshot? What always happens if I capture C in Gravel Pit?
I accidentally fell down and killed myself.
Funny thing: it's happened every single time I've capped C. Bad karma.

Apart from that Gravel Pit match I had a rather bad day today, I pretty much sucked continuously. Even my Pyro runs in Hydro weren't as successful as usually (should've kept my mouth shut about being unstoppable, yeah, I know...). Spent quite some time as Engineer, turtling around in 2fort, Well and Granary. But at least I also tried being Engineer in Dustbowl. In BLU. We would've got so spawn-raped on Stage Two if I hadn't put my sentry up in the dugout. Damn Pyros were trying to come through all the time.
Also, my "our team must really suck if I'm on top of the scoreboard as a Soldier!" isn't a good measuring stick anymore, I suppose. Because yesterday our team was AWESOMESAUCE in Dustbowl (we won 6-5), and I was third on scoreboard. As a Soldier. With 80 points. So, yeah. I think I'll just stop comparing myself to others, it's a Team Fortress after all.
(But like I've said, I like thinking that I'm not THAT bad a player sometimes. Being on top of the scoreboard really helps.)
And I think I have to find some nice 24/7 Hydro and Dustbowl servers, because I'm so in love with both of those maps. All the others I'm getting rather bored of. Most of the time I can't stand 2fort, I hate both Wells, Granary and Badlands are slowly getting repetitive and boring and I've NEVER really liked Gravel Pit (it's fun, but somehow I just really... I can't explain it. There's something I just don't like about Gravel Pit. I go all "oh man..." whenever it comes up in map rotation, but usually I just suck it up and find myself having fun, so...). Dustbowl is ALWAYS awesome and like I've told you, I just love Hydro.

And oh yeah! GG, VALVE #2

And specifically, "Fixed critical modifier for explosive weapons (rockets, pipe bombs) increasing critical chance more than intended"

I didn't actually even notice any reduction in the amount of crits that I got today when I was Soldier. Same old lucky crits as always.

EDIT: Oh yeah, just remembered how I got one of the most insane kills ever. So, yeah, I once killed a cloaked Spy with a rocket (...back when I was still spamming like crazy. Oh, those were the good old days...), and I was really surprised when bloody body parts exploded out of nowhere.
But today I killed a cloaked Spy with the wrench. And I wasn't even close to my sentry at the time! (It's not that crazy to kill a cloaked Spy with the wrench if there's sappin' going on and you're waving the wrench at your sentry anyhow). Granted, I knew there was a Spy around, I saw him cloaking nearby, so I just started backing away back to my sentry (this happened in 2fort, I was in the lobby when I saw the Spy, and I started backing towards the ramp room), waving my wrench. And then suddenly my wrench connected with something and a BLU Spy just plopped down, dead. Was pretty awesome.

Lesson no:1

If there's something I've learned from the hours playing as Soldier, it's that never, EVER über a Soldier if you need sentries taken out and things are hectic. Because it's only four rockets, maybe five, and if none of them are crits and the Engineer is camping behind his sentry, waving his wrench, chances are that the über goes to a waste and the sentry stays up.
And it can't be just me, I destroy lots of sentries when I'm a Soldier. Even without an über. But especially on Dustbowl Stage Two Cap B: from this moment on I'm never going to über Soldiers (or Heavies, to that matter) to take down the sentries.
Demomen, fuck yes (I'll have to inform Ville that from now on, if he's a Demo, I'll be trying to über him on Dustbowl if there are sentries up on the last point). Pyros, fuck yes, and if that fails it's my fault for failing to draw the fire to myself.
And dear Medics, please don't über me when you see that I'm reloading my rocket launcher. D:
Also: dear Soldier (or Demoman), if we're camping somewhere safe in Dustbowl, building an über, and I'm healing you, would you please start hurting yourself?
I'm a horrible Medic buddy because I can't seem to look after my Medic at all, but at least I can imagine them appreciating that I'm helping them build their übers by firing rockets at myself (I also hurt myself if I have a Medic sticking to me when we leave the respawn and have a long way to where the battle's being fought). And I don't see Soldiers (or Demomen) do it very often. Which is kinda strange.
But that's what you learn by playing a lot of Medic.

I played a round as a Heavy. And for some reason I didn't get Head of the Class. Goddamn. I don't wanna do it anymore, but apparently I have to.