Celebrations!

There was a huge Left 4 Dead update just now and I can't stop feeling happy about it! So many changes to versus, Valve addressed basically all the problems I had with it, namely:

- Tank spawns at the same % through the map for both teams in versus mode

Hunter
- Easier to pounce a Survivor who is meleeing

Smoker
- Smoker now has to be killed or the tongue destroyed for the tongue to break
- Tongue attacks that fail to paralyze or hang a Survivor will use the shorter ability delay timer
- Fixed case where you could point at a Survivor but not register a tongue hit
- Smoker tongue does damage every second while dragging paralyzed Survivors

Tank
- Reduced autoshotgun damage against Tanks

So much for unfair Tanks! So much for getting frustrated at continuous meleeing as Hunter! So much for hating to play as the Smoker! I always hated being the Smoker, because I couldn't seem to be able to do SHIT as one. The tongue targeting was horrible, even if the aim indicator was red and the survivor in plain view, I couldn't score a hit. And if the drag failed, it was a bitch having to wait the minute or so for the attack to recharge and trying to change vantage points in plain sight. Dragging survivors long distances felt pointless at times since there was no damage until the drag was complete. Not even mentioning how frustrating the goddamn melee got. All that, fixed!
And autoshotgun was goddamn imbalanced GOD TIER against Tanks: they were dead in a course of seconds if you just ran behind them and unloaded a few clips into their oblivious backs from point-blank range. Yeah. I know it because I used to do it a lot in finales. The assault rifle is my weapon of choice, but whenever there was a Tank coming (and no one had a molotov) I changed to autoshotty and ran after Tanks while they were chasing some other team member. Yeah.

Too bad that I'm leaving for a family vacation today, and won't be able to play and enjoy the changes until some time next week.
Yeah, I would much rather stay at home playing videogames than go to Rome.

Kidding. I'll be off then.

P.S.: We finally completed two campaigns on expert. No achievements, though. Stupid cheat-proof achievements, we even restarted the campaigns once so that everyone saw the intro, but nooo, no one got Zombicidal Maniac or any progress to What Are You Trying to Prove. Sucks. But at least we did it once, we can surely do it again. We even completed Death Toll without restarting even once. That was pretty impressive.

Bonk v. 2

What the hell.

So, a few months ago I told you how I picked up the Demoman one night, after half a year of going all "oh I'm a terrible Demo, I can't play as Demo, it's so difficult," and finding myself sucking NOT as badly as I thought I would suck, and actually thinking that it's lots of fun.
And Demoman's been my most played class during these couple of months (I've clocked over 30 hours as a Demo since July), and sometimes I think I'm not even half-bad at it. At least I've learned the tips and tricks to it.
And after finally picking up the Demo, there were only two classes that I simply don't play as. Because I suck so bad. And those classes were Spy and Scout.

And you know what?

Tonight the exact same thing that happened with Demo back then, happened with Scout. My team was getting our collective ass handed to us in Gravel Pit, I decided to fuck it and go Scout (which is what I usually do when I get annoyed enough, for some strange masochistic reason).
And despite getting our asses kicked and being in a goddamn horrible team, I was actually having fun. As a Scout. Playing seriously instead of just running around the bat in hand and trying to bat some heads in. And doing what a BLU Scout should do in Gravel Pit: cap.
And I wasn't doing as bad as I usually do as a Scout. I got at least one kill in one life, which is of course bad, but way more than I usually get, and I was there when we capped A and B. I even dominated some poor Spy, and that's definitely something I've NEVER done as a Scout before. And like I told you, our team was kinda bad, and we were losing hard (and if I can accomplish more as a Scout than I did as a Soldier or Demo - and I did play as those before going Scout - no one can possibly say that it was my fault we sucked).

I was surprised, and decided to try playing as Scout on some other map. Which happened to be Gold Rush. And I actually played an entire match in Gold Rush as a Scout. And... well.



Lol at having a Medic.
It definitely could've been worse! Sure it was lots of hanging back, taking potshots at enemies in the distance, and waiting for everyone else to take down sentries, but it was still pretty fun, and I did lots of capping. I even got a new most points record for Scout. It used to be a measly 6, now it's 10! Whoo! And not all of the points were captures!
Later on I tried playing as Scout on Steel as well, because I wanted to try and go to E at the start of the match. I didn't really accomplish much, but at least it works a bit as a distraction while rest of the team tries to cap A or B or whatever.
And still, I had fun. I'm really, really liking Scout's speed.

So, um, I think I might even start playing as a Scout, if it's of any use to my team. Sure I suck ass, but hey, same old song: you can't expect to get better at something if you never actually do it.

And now I'm just waiting when this shit happens with Spy. It would be awesome to be actually able to play ALL the classes.

Last night was also a strange achievement night. I got two Medic achievements (Doctor Assisted Homicide, which I would've gotten ages ago if all of my achievement progress bars hadn't gone back to zero at one point, and Medical Intervention), and three Pyro achievements (Makin' Bacon, Hot Potato and Pyrotechnics). Not that they would even count towards anything since I have all the unlockables already, but I would've finally got the Kritzkrieg if the Medic Milestones were still where they used to be.
And dammit, all I want are some Heavy achievements, I still don't have the Natascha.
And I came close to breaking my Medic point record on Dustbowl's first stage: I had 27 points (hadn't died even once during the round, so it was pretty easy to just check to scoreboard) and then I got headshot. Stupid fucking Snipers. If I had managed to stay alive for the minute and half that was still left of the round, I would've probably gotten at least 30. RRRRAGE.

And in other news, I finally clocked 100 hours as a Soldier. Yeah, damn you, Easy Mode. I was trying to hold back and play more as a Medic, but I just can't seem to quit Soldier.
Also my hours are fucking ridiculous (about 300 altogether?), I probably need a life.

You are a loose cannon sandvich, but you are a damn good cop!

Lookie what I've got!



It did take a bit long (I've been mainly playing as a Heavy for a few nights now), but as you probably know, I'm not that good a Heavy. All thanks to Sonneteer who kept sticking to my ass (even when I'm munching away on my sandvich in respawn and while THE CART IS NEARING THE CHECKPOINT... yeah, I didn't notice anything, enthralled by my brand new beautiful sandvich, but apparently Sonny kept laughing until we got out: yeah, the cart is moving and I'm camping in respawn, all JUST ONE SANDVICH YOU GUYS THEN WE CAN GO) and helping me to get several of the achievements.
And having a darling Medic running to me with a full charge when I'm getting out of respawn after getting headshot... gotta love it.

And for fuck's sake, if a mediocre Heavy like me can get a bunch of achievements in a few hours, playing just like I normally would, anyone can. I understand if you want the unlockables NOW NOW RIGHT NOW I CAN'T WAIT, go ahead and farm, none of my business, but I fucking hate it when people whine about the achievements being too hard. And yeah, the idiots who come to a non-achievement-grinding server and run around boxing or trying to taunt... well, they're idiots. And they deserve their bans.
But it's possible to get most of the achievements - the 20 required for the unlockables - in regular gameplay without acting like an idiot. Why don't people understand that?
And yeah, I'm probably the only person who finds getting the achievements fun: farming them would take all the fun out of it. I don't even mind the unlockables being tied to the achievements. I don't mind that I don't have them from the get-go. Because getting them is not impossible.
Sure, getting the Spy unlockables would be impossible for me, but I don't play as the Spy, what the hell would I do with the Spy unlockables?
Jesus Christ, people are idiots.
Newsflash.

Besides, I'm learning some new tricks all the time while playing, and I don't think I've ever been a complete drag to my team while insisting to play as Heavy to get the achievements (and today I was an MVP several times, so it could be that in fact I might be even somewhat useful and learning something! Le gasp!). Sure I would be doing better as a Soldier or Medic or even a Demo, but hey, you can't expect to get better at playing as a certain class if you never actually play as that class.
So I'm slowly learning. And getting the achievements while I'm at it.

So, the Sandvich? Well now I know what I'll be doing during all the setups from now on. OM NOM NOMing away. I forget to use it in battle, and this far I've consumed a grand total of one sandvich when I actually needed some health. It's pretty useful, gotta admit. Especially since all Medics (except Sonny) hate me.
And it's pretty horrible to run out of Sasha ammo while you have the Sandvich equipped. Not that I've ever even killed anyone with the shotgun, but I feel much safer running to the closest ammo crate when I'm holding a boomstick INSTEAD OF FISTS. And running out of ammo while übered? Yeah, that's a whole different nightmare.
Also, I want to be able to hit people with the Sandvich! Come on, it would be epic!

And I'm probably getting Natascha after a few matches: while I don't have that many achievements yet, I have several that are just missing a few kills/captures/whatever. Party Loyalty is 46/50, Factory Worker 14/20, Soviet Union about 20/25... Pushkin the Cart, Lenin a Hand and Purge I'm also getting pretty soon.
And, yeah, I have (in addition to the five I already mentioned in some earlier post) Class Struggle, Stalin the Cart, Supreme Soviet, Own the Means of Production, Crock Block and Five Second Plan. And the first Milestone. So, four achievements and then Natasha will be mine.

I also have a new-found respect for Snipers. Because as a Heavy? Fuck I hate them.
I never thought I'd want a team with more than one Sniper, but the final checkpoint on Gold Rush? Yeah, I kinda wanted half of my team to go Sniper just to keep the three ominous figures standing there on the balcony in check, so that I could peek around the freaking corner without getting a bullet between my eyes.
Stupid fucking Snipers.

And today marks the first time ever, when as a Demoman, I didn't panic or get nervous at all when I was übered. We're on Dustbowl, attacking, the third stage just started, and a Medic with a full charge sticks to me right out of the blue, informing via voicechat that Chrome, we're now going to take down the sentries.
So I was like "OKAY!" and went there, and took the sentries out, all cool and calm and collected, and then we rushed the second point and won within fifteen seconds, I think. MVP, bitches.
That was awesome.
I've been playing a lot as a Demo, too, since Badwater is hella awesome for causing some serious sticky havoc. I'm even starting to like being an offensive Demo: I usually played Demo more on defense, since it's easy to just lay down the stickies on the point and camp nearby. Now I find myself going Demo on offense too, since I don't have to lay my stickies anywhere and I can use them as remote-controlled regular 'nades and I'm getting better at using them like that. THE MAYHEM. IT IS SWEET.

And now I'm forced to take a little tiny break from playing: real life insists on interfering. But at least from next week onward I'll be sharing an apartment with another TF2 player, and we'll just see how deadly a pair me and Slaverstrike can make once we can actually communicate. That is, yell from one room to another. I'm definitely looking forward to it, haha.

More Heavy stuff

So it would seem that the rumours were right and the Heavy gets a new minigun that does less the damage, but slows down enemies on hit. Natascha, she is called (and if I were Sasha, I'd be jealous. Poor Sasha).

But what I really like to comment, are some of the achievements, which finally got descriptions. Sure, most of them were easy to guess by file names, and there weren't really any big surprises. Several Medic-related indeed, so I'll be working with Heavies next week.
What I don't want to see, is someone trying to get Soviet Union and telling me to GTFO. Okay, if you want to be an idiot and don't want me to heal you, don't even think I'll be there saving you when you're on fire and dying. The only people I don't heal on default, unless they yell for Medic, are Spies, because I don't want to accidentally blow their cover. And that's not gonna change. I give you healings, whether you want it or not!
Or starting to taunt in the middle of an über to get Photostroika. Okay, sure, if we're steamrolling or there simply aren't any other enemies around, it's not that I've never launched a useless charge before, but if we're pushing for the Dustbowl's last point and my Heavy starts taunting... I'll ragequit for sure.
Even bigger DO NOT WANT TO SEE, is someone trying to get Redistribution of Health when I'm around.

Bitch, if you be stealing my medkit...

Same old story, again and again and again

Okay.
I'm getting a new computer.

Played two nights on my little brother's brand new computer (turns out he was pulling my leg: Crysis didn't run on the highest graphics settings possible. It was only on high. Same difference, if you ask me), and my framerate was over 60 nearly all the time, even in crazy-ass firefights it mostly stayed on green. I wasn't running the game on highest graphics settings, but it was still looking so much better than on my computer. I'll post a screenshot in a minute, so you can see for yourselves.
Anyway, naturally I felt the difference. And indeed I was doing better: I owned everyone even as much as trying to circlestrafe when I played as Heavy, aiming wasn't a complete pain in the ass when I was a Soldier and botching rocketjumps was history, circlestrafing was easier as a Pyro, and as a Medic I was able to switch between targets so fast I was almost surprised (do I even need to say that I got Second Opinion immediately when I tried it?), and keeping an eye on my surroundings was so much easier.
All of these are naturally worth a good old "WELL, DUH."



I was keeping that team together, for real. We didn't need another Medic. Look at that amount of healing, fifty-freaking-thousand, just what the hell. There were times I was keeping two Demomen, three Soldiers and one Heavy going, and healing all the Snipers and Scouts whenever they fell back screaming for Medic. I was having a ball, for real. And seven kills? As a Medic? Pretty hardcore for me.
I also had another epic long match in Gold Rush, when I was most of the time playing as Heavy. Result? 177 points. Insanity.

I honestly want to cry thinking about going back to playing the game on my own computer and its shitty framerate and ugly graphics... this is serious business. So I might buy myself a new computer, come autumn. Until then I'm still forced to play with the crazy handicap of 20 fps. I mean, I've been doing pretty well until now, surely I can continue playing like I always have. It's just... now I know what it feels like to have it better. And it's sweet.

Anyway, since I've been playing a lot as Medic, I finally have something to report about the status of my Medic achievements.
Mostly, RAGE.
If you've been reading this blog, you probably remember how Head of the Class was a serious thorn in my side, the progress count going back to zero or not including classes even though I played full rounds as them.
Now I'm having the same thing. All the Medic achievements that had any progress went back to zero. Family Practice, Peer Review, Doctor Assisted Homicide... all of them. Back to square one with each and every one of them. Thank GOD I hadn't been killing Scouts or Medics religiously, I would've gone postal. It should be easy as hell to start again on Family Practice (especially since I made a new friend last night), but I was already 13/20 through Doctor Assisted Homicide and I'm kinda pissed off about that.
I was thinking that it must be because I switched computers, but WHAT THE FUCK, STEAM. Also, I've been trying to read Steam's forums but I haven't yet seen anyone having the same problem.
Shit sucks.

But in the end losing some of my achievement progress isn't that big of a deal: after all I got two new achievements. I already told you I got Second Opinion: Dustbowl stage one, first point, juggled the charge between a Soldier and a Heavy, mainly because I was being attacked from both sides and they were there.
And tonight I got one of the achievements I was not trying to get, at all. One of the ones I thought would be impossible to get in normal gameplay or without acting like a complete idiot. Dare to wager a guess?



I admit we were kinda being total dicks there, but hey, no harm done! Actually the scoreboard screenshot earlier is from this very game, now that I think about it, and this was the last round, we were defending on Gold Rush's first stage. I was the only Medic, healing everyone near the last checkpoint. I got über, glued myself to this Heavy, and he started towards the building that the BLU had already invaded. Great, I thought, he's thinking the same that I am: we need to clean that building, and so we went. But he ran out of minigun ammo immediately, shooting at some Pyro in the distance, before we even got inside the building (we were still on the cart tracks, I think). And instead of turning around and going to get more ammo he drew out his fists and continued towards the building. I went AHAHA OKAY THEN and followed him.
So I was totally thinking that right, the building is swarming with BLU people, I might even get the achievement out of it, and the outlook of the match is looking good, we're probably not risking too much and hey! We might even clean up the building. Maybe they don't have any sentries up yet!
Positive thinking!
The Heavy was probably thinking the same (we didn't communicate at all: I'm still chickening out of using my mic), so we rush in, I über him and watch, nearly frozen solid, as the Heavy starts punching people. Of course there was a goddamn Soldier on his way and those bitches take million hits until they die, but somehow he really GOT the two kills and I got the achievement. Unfortunately the charge ran out immediately after the second kill, I saw that there were still people there (incidentally I didn't even see the sentry: went all OH GOD I HAD NO IDEA when I looked at the screenshots after the match. I just thought there were still too many people around), so I did what every self-respecting Medic does in a situation like that, and hightailed out of there (just jumped down over the railing).
Okay, so I totally hate leaving my healing targets to die like that (especially when the said healing target was nice enough to do something completely silly probably just for me), but since I know that I'm the only Medic in my team and BLU has control of that building (which often means that they will win), I know that if I die our chances of winning the match become slim to none. I don't do suicide attacks.
I thanked the Heavy for helping me with the achievement, of course, and I hope he doesn't hate me forever because I ditched him. I am sorry, Kyle, don't hate me! You were awesome.

I also came really close to getting Sawbones! I was defending on Dustbowl, healing people on first point when I saw a Medic/Soldier combo disappearing behind the building on the left side of the first point, apparently trying to get behind our players, or sneak to second point. And because it's easy to follow people there and shoot them in the back, and I wasn't doing anything too important, I jumped down, drew my bonesaw and followed them. I killed the wonderfully oblivious Medic (took three hits) and then proceeded to bonesawing the Soldier, and missed after my fourth hit. DAMN. So close. I've been overlooking Sawbones completely as one of the achievements I might get to get closer to the Kritzkrieg, but now that I think of it, all I need is one tunnel Heavy and it's in the bag.
I think I've given two Medics their Sawbones, because most of the time I'm truly very oblivious to what's happening behind my back when I'm Heavy.

And now I'm three achievements away from the Kritzkrieg and yay! I have no idea what those three achievements will be, what with all my progress for Family Practice and Doctor Assisted Homicide reverting back to zero, but we'll see. Sawbones, I'm thinking.
SPECIALIST, FFFFF.

And, uh, if you're looking at my stats, I'll just have to come clean and tell you that the Sniper stats are actually not mine. I don't mind, really, because I don't play as Sniper, and probably never will, but I don't want anyone thinking that I could be a good Sniper. Too bad that everyone who was playing on server tonight probably thinks that I am. Some of them probably hate me now. FFFF CHROME YOU FUCKER NEVER PLAY AS SNIPER AGAIN SERIOUSLY. The 19 Sniper points are not mine! They are my little brother's.
So, I let my brother play. He asked if he could try Sniper out, and of course I let him. He was on top of the scoreboard all the time (except on Badlands: he was confused about the layout of the map, and never really got to take part in any action. On Hydro and Gravel Pit he was owning), and probably one of THOSE Snipers (the ones I hate). He was really good, I give him that, he also outplayed enemy Snipers most of the time (and because he's a "newbie" he didn't really know any of the usual Sniper positions, so I suppose some of the more experienced Snipers didn't even see him coming when he kept sniping from pretty obscure locations). And yeah, because he has some FPS experience (like 10 years of Action Quake...), he was pretty good at shooting the goddamn rifle from the hip. Which is annoying as heck. He had some epic runs on Gravel Pit, like getting two damn kills within few seconds with the rifle while running.
And then 2fort came up. And I told him he doesn't want to be Sniper on 2fort, that he would be spending the entire match glued on battlements and shooting at enemy Snipers, battling over who has the bigger Sniper penis, and he said that screw that, he's going to be an attack Sniper, he's going to go get the intel. Well good luck with that, I told him.
He did end up in the enemy base at first, he even got to the basement, where an enemy Medic bonesawed him in the back. Then he tried sniping from the bridge and all that, and after that, about ten minutes into the game, he was on the battlements, shooting at enemy Snipers and forming a serious rivalry with them. It was pretty humorous to watch, I admit: he was fuming whenever the enemy Sniper actually managed to shoot him, and cheering intensely whenever he owned him right back. And when the enemy Sniper took longer than usual to drag his ass out of respawn, he was getting worried that maybe he switched classes or quit, he can't do that. And then he left the battlements, jumped down and headed to the enemy base, and once he had got over the bridge he glanced up at the battlements, saw the enemy Sniper, went completely ":D!" and promptly headshot him into oblivion. I figure the enemy Sniper was pretty pissed at that point, damn, at least I would be: getting headshot from the bridge would be unnervingly annoying.
Anyway, their rivalry was horribly cute.
And I was thrilled to get my brother to play TF2.
Too bad he won't probably ever actually get the game: he says he's just interested in playing the Sniper. I loved watching him play (I've never watched anyone play TF2 before!), and as you probably know, I also love talking about this game and I like it when people know what I'm talking about. So I could babble about the game and my brother could actually contribute to the conversation. And my little bro is totally cool and I love having things in common with him, this being just one of them.

Like, he just got me to play Frets on Fire, which, if you didn't know, is a freeware rhythm game for PC that pays its homage to Guitar Hero itself. Instead of a plastic guitar, you just use the keyboard. I've been watching my brother play it for a few years but I never got around to playing it myself, but as I finally got my Guitar Hero virginity taken away last week, I decided to get Frets on Fire because it's the next best thing and I don't have money to get Guitar Hero right now.
I still suck gloriously at it: I can play some songs on Easy mode (Medium in Guitar Hero), but mostly I'm just sticking with Supaeasy (Guitar Hero's Easy). FOR THE TIME BEING. I'm pretty good in rhythm games (I play StepMania/DDR/Dancing Stage/what-have-you on expert) and I play guitar irl, so it's probably only a matter of time.

What else? I still need to post the pros and cons list, but it's still not done yet. And if I post it with this monster of an entry, no one's going to read this. Haha.

Ooh!

I have finally found a TF2 custom map that sounds so awesome that I'm dying to actually play on it. CP Steel. I saw the introduction video for it a couple of weeks ago and it picked my interest immediately, and now Chris of 1fort did a review of it and I'm going DO WANT.
Once again I might have to venture away from my safe, familiar servers, I'm really wanting to play on Steel. Or at least try it and decide if I like it or is all the hype just a load of bull.
And it might do me good either way, I'm finding myself playing on the 24/7 Gold Rush/Dustbowl server almost all the time or hopping from one server to another depending on when Hydro, Gold Rush or Dustbowl comes around.
So sick of all the other maps, you know the drill.

Don't really have anything else to post for now. A friend asked me (in a comment to one of my earlier posts) to list all the TF2 classes and their pros and cons and I'M WORKING ON IT. Haha. I tried to reply in a comment, found myself being as verbose as usual and decided to do a proper list and post it in a real entry, so I'm posting that once I'm done with it.

And I'm still pissed off about the goddamn Specialist. I've been mainly playing as Medic after last Friday, striving to actually GET IT, and while I did come pretty close to it a few times (I've been staring at my health healed points like a nutjob), I still haven't actually reached it.
Probably never will, the poor pessimistic soul that I am.
Also, I have ONCE AGAIN been on top of the scoreboard with 80-or-so points and feeling that I'm an absolutely appalling Medic. OH WOE. Can I never be good enough for me?

FFFFFF.

Oh god what.

So, I was taking a little break from TF2, and when I returned to my usual few-hours-a-night schedule, I found myself sucking. Quite horribly.
Until tonight. Christ. For the record, I've been drinking again. Decided to play a bit, because you've probably noticed how I have almost a habit of getting wasted and then wasting the entire evening just fragging people and being amused at how I'm not that bad of a player when I'm drunk (and yes, I am very aware of the fact that I am indeed a gigantic nerd and have no life).
So yeah, I was playing as Heavy on Gold Rush and being once again surprisingly good at it (especially after last night's failfest. I don't wanna talk about it).

But then I switched servers and found myself on Dustbowl. Stage Two. RED. First point had been capped, so my team had already fell back to the last point. I went Medic, seeing that they didn't have any Medics, and started healing.

Result?

1. Within two minutes I was on top of the scoreboard, above all the players who had been on the server before me.

2. Intern. 500 FUCKING HP AWAY FROM SPECIALIST FFFFF I'M PISSED (Most health healed record is now 9,498 FFFFF I STILL GET PISSED OFF WHEN I LOOK AT IT. SO CLOSE. SO. CLOSE).

3. And most points record, 24, whoo!

And the best (/most fucked-up) part? At some point after I had launched my second über I started getting 1-5 fps. I'm not shitting you. I was getting some serious lag and I don't know if it was the server or my connection. And still I managed to get two more übers and stay alive until BLU capped the point.
I stuck around for a few minutes on third stage, but at that point the lag was getting so ridiculous I had to stop. Much to my chagrin. Stupid lag, I was doing so good!
And at that point half the team was going Medic and stealing my Heavy, so it was completely my cue to leave. What the hell is it with those people: no one wants to be a Medic in the previous round, then I jump in and dominate the scoreboard and then everyone else wants to be Medic too?
I completely understood when few people went Medic after I went all "LOL GUYS I'M GETTING LIKE 1 FPS MAYBE I SHOULD STOP" in chat, though. But I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse.

And here, scoreboard at the start of stage three:



But yeah, it's nice to know that I'm still a fucking kickass Medic even when slightly drunk and with the lowest framerate possible. HA HA HA I really hope that won't happen ever again. I was insane to stick around after I started lagging.

More achievement stuff and general ranting

Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna add one little thing to that last entry: the number one reason for why I won't farm any achievements, even if it costs me the Übersaw.

I don't want to screw up my stats. I like looking at my stats and it's great to feel like I've actually got better every time I break my previous record for kills or healing or longest life or something. So if I suddenly have the highest life measuring in hours and max kills of fifty or something... that would suck. Then I would never again feel like I've got any better.
And yeah, I'm a total stats whore (if you haven't noticed!), I stare at my own stats waaay too often. The stats parser is my best friend. So I don't want to ruin that for me.

I know there's a lot of whining going on about the new weapon unlockables being tied to achievements that basically promote "acting like an idiot" and thus ruining the game for others. With that in mind I am kinda starting to resent Valve's decision to handle the unlockables this way... don't get me wrong, I don't mind the weapons being tied to achievements (and I like getting achievements, I think it's fun), it's just that some of the achievements are, face it, pretty stupid.
Yesterday was probably the first time I actually saw a Medic act like a total idiot. He didn't ruin things for the rest of us (we had two capable Medics to balance him out, but still we were basically playing 11 to 12), but it was still kinda annoying trying to yell for a heal and this idiot just kept trying to kill people and taunt.
Note to self: do not try to get Autopsy Report in the heat of a battle.
Then again, I did something that constitutes as "acting like an idiot" yesterday too, but uh, it kinda had nothing to do with the achievements. I was just being an idiot on my own accord. I DID get some progress for Peer Review for it, but now that I think about it, I have no idea what the hell was going through my mind then. So, Gold Rush, first stage, final checkpoint. I was defending, and I get out of the respawn and saw an übered Demo rushing towards me and up the stairs to get on top of our respawn building. So I followed. And bonesawed the Medic. And felt really good about myself, until I heard "the cart is nearing the checkpoint!" and got killed just in time to spectate as BLU wins the round. Ehhhh. So I could've been there to keep our Soldiers and Demos going instead of chasing down a Demo-Medic combo who were apparently trying to take down our Snipers. A horrible miscalculation on my part. This is why I don't go combat Medic on Gold Rush or Dustbowl or Gravel Pit. I always have better things to do than kill someone.

But yeah, I was about to say that sure, some of the achievements basically tell you to fuck teamwork and be a drag to your team, but face it: some of the achievements cause the exact opposite. Some of the achievements actually make you a good Medic.
For example, Grand Rounds. I see far too many Medics sticking to that one Heavy like they're Siamese twins or something, and nothing annoys me more than trying to get a heal and the Medic is basically glued to some other dude. Especially if I'm playing as Medic too.
Infernal Medicine. I got it yesterday (hee, I got it when I extinguished Slaverstrike), and that really didn't take very long to get.
But both of those achievements made me do my job a little bit better: I tried to heal everyone calling for Medic (except when my primary target was under heavy fire and I deemed it would be more useful to keep him alive than to fuck him and go heal the lone Soldier in the other side of the map - besides, another Medic would probably get him before I do), and I also tried to extinguish everyone whenever they were on fire. Especially other Medics.
And oh yeah, I'm 11 heals away from getting Grand Rounds, so consider that one done.
And First Do No Harm promotes being a good Medic and doing your job (and I find it extremely amusing how most of the people who have farmed achievements don't have this. HAR HAR). As well as Trauma Queen and Group Health and Double Blind Trial and Intern and Ubi Concordia, Ibi Victoria, which are just basically doing what Medics are supposed to do. Big Pharma and Specialist are taking it a bit overboard, but at least trying to get them teaches you to survive and stay alive and keep your healing target(s) alive. Which is what I should be practicing.

So stop whining about the achievements. If you can't get some of them by playing normally, I have to think that you're a rotten Medic, and thus should go back to playing Soldier and stop feeling butthurt about not getting everything on a golden platter. What the hell would you do with Medic weapons if you don't even play that much as Medic?! You having the Kritzkrieg would mean just one idiot Medic more who just doesn't know when to use it!
I know I won't be getting any Demoman or Scout unlockables once they come out, and whine about the achievements being hard. Because I don't play as Demo or Scout. I don't care. Why should you? No wonder you whine about the MMORPG grinding aspects, you are the one making it a matter of grinding.

Also I don't know what everyone's whining about "too many Medics on every server," because I'm playing on public servers and only remember having an overabundance of Medics on two or three different occassions (okay, last night we started a 12 on 12 match on Dustbowl with only Soldiers and Medics in our team. THAT was horrible. I was a Soldier, btw, and got the only Medic with the Kritzkrieg, hee hee). Change servers, kthxbai, it's not that hard! Or talk to the admin about restricting the amount of Medics to the max of two or three.

Rant rant rant. Okay. I'm just getting so tired of basement-dwelling fanboys whining about every single thing. Yes, I do get the irony. Except that I'm not a basement-dwelling fanboy. Sry2say.

And what IS it with these jealous Medics?! Okay, I get it, you want in on the fun and our Heavy buddy is on top of the scoreboard, but Jesus Christ why do you stick to the same guy I'm sticking to, while there are people yelling for Medic in the direction from where you came from?! Sure, I don't mind, you can have the Heavy and I'll go heal the others, but WHOA. First come first serve, I think.
(Btw, if it's points you're after, you get so much more from actual healing than those precious assists, just sayin'.)
And for fuck's sake, Medic, don't heal the same guy I'm healing during the setup! Goddamn these noobs (or idiots, whatever) are starting to get to me.

Sorry, I'm talking a lot about Medics these days. I could tell you about how absolutely fucking scared I am of (good) Snipers, and how I should be playing more as Pyro now that there are Medics everywhere (I did it yesterday on Well and HEE HEE burning Medic flesh, everywhere), but I'll save those stories for later. I think I'm coming to a stop with the achievements pretty soon, so I'll have to come up with something else to talk about.

Achievements here, achievements there...

Just updating on my Medic achievements status, because I know you all must be so very interested about it and practically shivering with antici... pation, wanting to hear how I'm slowly inching towards my ultimate goal, ie. getting the Kritzkrieg.
Oh, but what about the Übersaw? Isn't that my ultimate goal?
And the curt answer is "not really, no" because I am NOT going to farm any of the achievements because I detest that sort of action (the only one I MIGHT get with a bit of co-ordinated help from Slaverstrike or someone, is Medical Intervention). And I'm trying NOT to act like a total idiot on any of my regular servers. I'm a respectable Medic, I am, so I'm not going to über boxing Heavies or Scouts or go out trying to kill people with the bonesaw while holding a full charge or anything of the like. Unless I'm drunk and can indeed quote the Demoman: "I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse!"
I'm going to get the achievements needed for the Kritzkrieg, and I'm going to get them fairly, playing Medic like I normally would. And no matter how long it will take. End of story, bye bye Übersaw.

Anyway, 17/39, got House Call today. I joined the server in full intention to über Slaverstrike, but ended up übering one of my OTHER Steam friends who just happened to play on the same server, and it was just another of my panicky OH GOD I'M DYING I HAVE TO ÜBER situations and he just happened to be there right then. I had planned on übering him as well at some point, to get him included in Family Practice, but, well. That works too. Later on I übered Slaverstrike as well, but I still didn't get but one friend included in Family Practice, and now I have no idea which one of them it was. Well damn. I guess I'll have to über them both again at some point in time. Not that I mind, the other friend is one of the kickass Demomen I've been sticking to lately (we were a destructive, carnage-driven combo on Dustbowl the other night).

What else? I'm about 130 through Grand Rounds, and 50 through Infernal Medicine, so I need just another night of intense Medicing, and those two should be taken care of. I have killed three Scouts for Does It Hurt When I Do This? (would be four, but a damned Engineer meddled with his little pea-shooter and finished the Scout I had been killing. Damned Engineers should stay in kitchen? tanking behind their sentries), and I'm not looking forward to finishing this one any time soon. Scouts are ridiculously easy to kill with the Blutsauger, basically they don't stand a chance unless they crit (which they always seem to do when they're shooting at my general direction, stupid Scouts), or unless they really abuse the hell out of the doublejump. Or if they're smart (and/or yellow-bellied) and run away instead of trying to engage me in a deathmatch.
I also have a grand total of ONE MEDIC killed for Peer Review, and that one I am seriously not striving to get, it would count as "acting like an idiot." Unless it's a one-on-one, kill-or-be-killed situation. This one poor Medic got bonesawed to death on Gravel Pit, we were attacking, dominating, and we had pretty much already got C. Most of RED was dead, and I saw this lone Medic trying to charge the last cap in a desperate attempt to thwart our inevitable victory, so I just followed him and bonesawed him before he even knew what was happening.
Doctor Assisted Homicide, 3/20. I don't even notice when it's happening, I'm not paying any attention to revenges my healees are getting. Btw, if you really want this, I'm a very good target when I'm playing Soldier. Haha. If the enemy team is steamrolling, there's a high chance that half of their team is dominating me (well, not HALF of their team, but a few players anyhow), and usually I get those revenges on people sooner or later, because I'm only a half-bad Soldier. I think Slaverstrike got at least two assist for my revenges while healing me today on Hydro, heh.
I still haven't got Second Opinion though I sure as hell am trying! (Whenever things aren't too hectic, that is, and I'm übering someone who's very close to someone else by chance). I hear it's pretty buggy, and near impossible to get. I don't even have auto heal on, and I've been trying everything, but no. Still not getting it.
Another one is Autopsy Report. What the HELL do I have to do? I haven't tried it but few times (my spirits kinda crashed after I got Blutsaugered to death by an enemy Medic while taunting on top of a Scout's corpse. Damn it, sneaky Medic, didn't see you there), but I've started the taunt right after I got the kill, and I've been standing directly on top of the body, but nooo, I just won't get it. Stupid buggy achievements.

And speaking of my dear Blutsauger, it makes me act like a wannabe combat Medic. I find myself attacking like a nutcase with it, even when I wouldn't need to. So much for "not acting like a complete idiot." But I'm clearly getting better! And I do get more kills than I used to, the Blutsauger is just so awesome.
And this happens on regular CP maps, on Dustbowl, Gold Rush and Gravel Pit I find myself attacking very rarely (ie. only when everyone else is dead and it's kill or be killed, or a Spy tries to cause some mischief), if at all. But on those maps I usually have a buddy, on maps like Badlands or Well it's somehow harder to find a buddy to stick to, and thus I found myself going combat Medic. Hmm. I don't know, but there really seems to be a pattern.

And nothing makes me happier than someone I've been healing before remembering me and going all "okay, you've got me, let's go." Aww. <3 I remembered that Heavy too, we were topping the scoreboard on Hydro a few nights ago. Another one who thinks I'm not a bad Medic yay!

Medic achievements and unlockables

Okay, right, huge news day.

First the final Medic unlockables were revealed. Then there were actual hands-on impressions about the said unlockables and Goldrush.
And just now, the actual Medic achievements were unveiled.

I've been giddy the whole day, first figuring out if I like the sound of the new unlockable weapons and deciding that I really, really like Blutsauger and want to have it as my new best friend. And now I'm despairing over the fact that I'm going to be lucky if I even get the damn weapon. The achievements are sadistic!

Well, anyway. Cue my long-winded thoughts on the unlockables and achievements.

So like I said, the Blutsauger will probably be my new best friend. I won't even look back at the good old syringe gun once I get my eager little hands on the new bloodsucker. I figure it will support my cowardish Medicing playstyle pretty perfectly.
And I'm probably going to hate the Critzkrieg. I have a hard time staying alive as a Medic, so I'll definitely prefer übercharges over a few seconds of continuous crits but being completely vulnerable. And I'm going to hate it whenever an enemy Medic launches his critzkrieg, as if I wasn't a bad enough crit magnet before!
Well at least I don't have to worry about it too much, because I'll probably never even get the weapon. Ha!
The Übersaw is a bit DO WANT, but first of all it's impossible (for me) to get, and I'm not that badass a combat Medic. I'm not a combat Medic at all (I just lost a Medic vs. Medic bonesaw deathmatch in Gravel Pit yesterday, so...), but even I'd venture out to bonesaw people if it meant getting an über faster. But yeah, never gonna get it.

I was also a bit scared if the new unlockables will screw up the class balance (since Medic is the only class to get new weapons for now), but to me it seems that the unlockable weapons will only support different ways of playing the Medic. Combat Medics will surely appreciate the Übersaw, and those who rather heal people than fight and strive to survive, will find Blutsauger perfect. Critzkrieg is an interesting counterpart to the übercharge, that's for sure, and gives more of a tactical twist to playing the Medic (when to have übercharge, and when critzkrieg? I understand you can change weapons during respawn and in resupply? Just like you'd chance a class), although I can't quite figure how I'D use it to my (or rather my team's) advantage.

And what I find great about the achievements, is that a player who only plays combat Medic will NEVER get the Übersaw of their dreams. Achievements are pretty well balanced, there are some geared towards combat Medics, and some geared towards those who actually do what Medics are supposed to (ie. healing). To get all of the achievements and be worthy of the unlockables, you have to be a well-rounded Medic who's both a teamworking healer and a total badass killing machine. That's awesome, I think.
And I don't think having the Übersaw (or Critzkrieg, and definitely not Blutsauger) tips the balance. Only the real hardcore players will get it, and they will probably play with people who are close to their own level of skill. I don't think I'll be seeing any Übersaws on any of my regular servers...
Yeah, sure, I know, of course some people will get the achievements through setup games, or using bots and keybinds on playtest servers.

I'm not too happy about the slight MMORPG GRINDING aspect this is adding to my cheerful little team-based FPS, but I figure the Übersaw doesn't change the gameplay so much that a team is automatically screwed if the enemy Medic has it, so you don't have to get it to be a good Medic. If you really want it, you'll have to grind, that's how it goes.

And now, the achievements. This is gonna be hella annoying to read, but I'll just repost some of the achievements and add my thoughts.

1. First Do No Harm: Play a full round without killing any enemies and score the highest on a team of 6 or more players.
- Easily done. I don't really kill people as Medic anyhow, so it's easy to just hold myself back if I do get assaulted by noobish Spies. And I've been on top of the scoreboard as a Medic before, so this is going to be somewhat of a cakewalk. Definitely not too hard. With lots of Medics around, though...

3. Group Health: Work with 2 other medics to deploy 3 simultaneous uber-charges.
- I suspect servers will be full of Medics for the next few weeks, so probably you don't even have to coordinate this. Sigh.

5. Trauma Queen: Deploy 3 uber-charges in less than 5 minutes, and assist in 5 kills during that time.
- Tricky, because I can't bleeding stay alive for three consecutive übers. 3 übers is actually my record, that's how long I can stay alive. And it's almost always on Dustbowl Stage Three, playing in BLU. Five assists is going to be very easy. And lol at Trauma Queen, awesome name.

7. Play Doctor: In a team with no medics, be first to switch to medic after a teammate calls "Medic!" and then heal 500 health.
- Oh god, I can imagine the whole fucking team going Medic at once. Sheer luck. Also, a team with no Medics? After this update? HAHAHA OH WOW. Dream on. Will take some time, this one, I figure. :D

8. Triage: Deploy an uber-charge on a teammate less than a second before they're hit by a critical explosive.
- I'll probably get this without even realising it. Or then I'll just keep my eyes open for crits whenever I have a full charge. My crit-magnetism should come in handy, har de har har.

10. Consultation: Assist a fellow medic in killing 5 enemies in a single life.
- I've been assisting some bonesawing combat Medics before pretty randomly, but to stick to one? I wonder where I'll find a badass-enough Medic. I wonder if Slaverstrike can pull it off...

11. Does It Hurt When I Do This?: Kill 50 scouts with your syringe gun.
- I heard there was going to be a "kill Scouts with syringes" achievement and my face went ":D!" because I've actually killed quite a lot of Scouts with syringes (I own Scouts better as Medic than as Soldier...). And then my face went "D:!" when I actually saw that it's 50 fucking Scouts. Right. It's gonna take forever. I have 120 kills as a Medic as of now, and maybe 15 of them are Scouts, 'nuff said.

12. Peer Review: Kill 50 medics with your bone saw.
- And I just lost a Medic vs. Medic melée match. Goddamn...

13. Big Pharma: Assist a heavy in killing 30 enemies where neither of you die.
- SLAVERSTRIKE, WE HAVE SOME BUSINESS TO DO. No deaths. Mindless killing only. Final destination.
Oh I only wish it was so easy and I were that good...

14. You'll Feel A Little Prick: Assist in killing 4 enemies with single uber-charge on a scout.
- I COULD DO THIS WHEN I'M DRUNK. Since I seem to be so fond of Scouts under the influence.

16. Blast Assist: Assist in exploding 5 enemies with a single uber-charge on a soldier.
- Only thing I can say is: MEDICS, don't über ME when you want this achievement.

18. Medical Breakthrough: Assist in destroying 8 enemy engineer buildings with a single uber-charge on a Demoman.
- Seriously, where the HELL can you find a sentry nest like that? D: Even the usually so insane sentry nests on Dustbowl's Stage Two's last point are rarely so large! But yeah, Slaverstrike, you're going to help me with this one too at some point, right? :/

19. Midwife Crisis: Heal an engineer as he repairs his sentry while it's under enemy fire.
- Lol at the name. And as far as achievements go, this one should be a cakewalk.

21. Grand Rounds: Heal 200 teammates after they've called for "Medic!"
- People just need to remember to call for Medics (I actually very rarely call for Medic when I play as Soldier or Pyro. I don't know why, maybe I feel a bit embarrassed wanting to take their time. And I'm afraid they'd stick to me and I'd get them killed, but yeah... I usually head for medkits instead. And now as I think of it, that's really stupid of me, and makes absolutely no sense. What kind of Medic WOULDN'T heal me when I call? And from now on I'll definitely always call for Medics! Help them get the achievement, yes!), and this should be fairly easy to get. At least I always heal everyone in need, I don't stick to just one person unless we're charging.

23. Doctor Assisted Homicide: Assist in killing 20 nemesis.
- Dammit, this would've been so much easier to get back in January when people actually dominated me! I don't really get dominated these days, not as Medic anyhow. I die a lot, but apparently not by the same people, at least not without me getting an assist on them before they can dominate me.
EDIT: And I realised only now that it's possibly assisting in other players' revenge kills, not getting your own revenges. And that makes so much more sense, actually. I'm slow. :nyoro~n:

24. Placebo Effect: Kill 5 enemies in a single life while having your uber-charge ready, but undeployed.
- Oh wow. I've never even killed five enemies in a single life (my record's two, ehh). People are gonna hate Medics when they try to get this. "Alright, I have a charge, I'mma go kill some people now!" "CHROME WE NEED TO GET THIS POINT GET YOUR FULLY CHARGED ASS IN HERE PRONTO - CHROME, THAT IS A PYRO WHAT ARE YOU ... OH FFS." "Hay guise I just respawned lol, let's get that über up so I can try to kill some people!"

26. Intern: Accumulate 7000 heal points in a single life.
- This is going to be another somewhat of a cakewalk. Gravel Pit, RED, good-enough team so that we can hold B, and this should be pretty easy.

27. Specialist: Accumulate 10000 heal points health in a single life.
- If only I could stay alive...

28. Chief of Staff: Accumulate 10 million total heal points.
- HAHAHAHA I HAVE ONE MILLION AND A HALF. I really hope those count towards the achievement.

29. Hypocritical Oath: Kill an enemy spy that you have been healing.
- With my Sixth Spy Sense this should be fairly easy. I want to know that do I have to actually overheal them, or does a quick little heal do the trick?

30. Medical Prevention: Save a falling teammate from dying on impact.
- I'mma just have a friend jump down from Gravel Pit Cap C. Hehe. A Soldier or a Demo, you know, they can shoot themselves until they're veeery low on health, and then they'll jump and I'll just catch them. With the medigun beam, that is.

32. Autopsy Report: Provide an enemy with a freezecam shot of you taunting above their ragdoll.
- I've always wanted to do this! I always forget to taunt ater kills. I've done it ONCE. I was chasing a Scout, who ran into his resupply room, and I fired a crit rocket before the doors closed and I just heard the crit hit and saw a message of having killed the Scout. That's when I taunted. Adding insult to injury, I know how much it sucks to die a feet away from the resupply cabinet (not that it would've helped at all, it was a crit after all...). Evil.

33. FYI I Am A Medic: Use your bonesaw to kill 5 enemy spies who have been calling for "Medic!"
- I love the nod to the Youtube video. But yeah, this is my day job anyhow.

34. Family Practice: Uber-charge ten of your steam community friends.
- I don't even have ten friends on Steam (only eight), but that's actually pretty easily fixed. Circlejerk, I'm looking at you.

35. House Call: Join a game that one of your friends is in and then deploy and uber-charge on him.
- And now I'm looking at Slaverstrike, this is gonna be so easy.

That's a lot of reading.

Anyway, Christmas is indeed coming early this year. I'm still refusing to get excited, because VALVE TIME. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the update comes next week - the earlier the better - but I'm still sceptical. It IS Valve after all.

And here, have a quick Engineer drawing I whipped up at TF2Chan's oekaki board.

I used a mic today.

I know! Wild!

And nothing happened. Except that some totally random guy sent me a friends request some time after I had used the mic for the first time, but I'm kinda hoping it's completely unrelated. It could be, but I think he was in my team when I spoke up at one point to inform people of my teleporter. (He sent the friends request during the next map, and he wasn't in the same team then).
He was kinda nice, though, I asked if there were any takers for my über in Dustbowl Stage Two and he was like I'll take it, and we capped the first point.
I just don't know if I should friend him back, because whoooa kinda creepy. Then again it would be kinda rude to ignore him, because I kept following him around in Dustbowl because he was a good Soldier and didn't waste my übers completely, damn it.

But anywho, I was glad to notice that no one pulled any strange shit when they heard a girl voice, so yay (I might be a bit prejudiced, but I've heard my share of horror stories about basement-dwelling lifeless gamer nerds... plus I don't ever wanna hear anyone go "Ha ha, a girl, no wonder you suck!"). I'd rather not make a big deal out of my gender (I like being "one of the guys" on default), but sacrifices must be made, and I want to be able to communicate with my team (and I hate typing).

Now if I only could be less nervous when talking and not stutter like some idiot...

Also! Great news!

HEAD OF THE CLASS GET!

I was just missing Spy! Had to endure a full fifteen minutes of utter humiliation in Granary, but getting the achievement was totally worth it. And I'd still like to play more as a Spy, I'm just SO. BAD. at it. Yeah I got a few lucky backstabs, but somehow everyone just sees right through me. Like the enemy Spy who backstabbed me when I was disguised. Granted, he was a pretty good Spy, whereas I'm... not.
And I was feeling really bad at some point when people started going "WE NEED MEDICS COME ON!" and we were getting slaughtered (but hey, we managed to hold them off the last point!) and I knew I wasn't contributing anything to the team and I was almost about to change classes, but... I'm sorry, team. I'm never doing that again.

Also tried to play Engineer a bit differently and tried moving my buildings often, rather than camp just one spot. Works really well and keeps enemies on their toes because they can never know behind which corner the sentry is this time. Should experiment more.

:D

The Soldier nerf: excellent thing.

Played for a while just now, and of course I went Soldier to experience the Power of Nerfing by myself. Of course, the first fifteen minutes I did nothing but whine about it. I was playing on Gravel Pit, and I don't even know where the ammo pickups are located there (since I usually go Medic on Gravel Pit and so I only know the whereabouts of health pickups), so I ended up scavenging enemies' dropped weapons. 20 rockets is so few. Especially when I'm used to having 40 and hardly ever running out of ammo.
But after I got used to it (got used to setting off to find ammo after a few fired rounds, and not spamming like a nutcase) I realised how brilliant the whole thing is.
Because it really made me stop the senseless spamming.

And I didn't get any worse. Actually it would seem that I got better. :D Broke my damage dealt and destruction records on Dustbowl after the Gravel Pit match. Did a PERFECT capture on Stage One Cap B: charged in through the one-way gate with a Medic who then proceeded to übering me, we took down the two sentries guarding the point, rushed in and capped it. After that I managed to stay alive on Stage Two Cap B for an uncharacteristically long time (I die a lot, and I die fast), taking down sentries and killing the people guarding the point, always rushing back to the building to get more ammo when I was running low. Broke my damage dealt record then, and probably came close to my point record too, because I was killing people left and right, even dominated some poor sod.

Too bad that the game crashed not long after we capped the point (with just thirty seconds left in the timer, whoa) and proceeded to Stage Three, and the new records didn't seem to go to my stats. Hmph. Yeah, I'm playing on my little brother's computer atm. It's old and crappy and paged pool memory problems make the game crash constantly. I've tried to get rid of them, but it still crashes after some time and nothing seems to help.

And my achievements are really broken. I got a progress announcement after the Gravel Pit match that I was 7/9 through Head of the Class and WHAT THE FUCK. I have no idea what classes are not included to that! Seriously, Steam, what's your fucking problem? I was 8/9 through and I thought I was only missing Heavy (because like I told you, for some reason the game didn't wanna include it to the count), and now I'm 7/9. And I apparently didn't have Soldier. Which I had for certain, because Soldier's been my mostly played class during the last two weeks!
Not the first time either: back in the day I got Heavy through some kinda glitch (changed to Heavy in the end of some Dustbowl match, came out of the respawn, died instantly, and enemies capped the point while I was waiting for respawn. And it included Heavy to the Head of the Class and I was like wtf), and then some time later the entire count went back to zero. I suspected it was because of the whole thing with the Heavy, so didn't think about it too much. Anyway, I had to play all the classes again, and got to the point where I am now. And now I'm CERTAIN I got all the classes by playing a complete round with each, so I have no idea why I'm now 7/9 instead of 8/9 like I used to be! Sigh.
This sucks. How can one goddamn achievement be such a pain in the ass? And I thought Impossible Defense would be hard to get!

Ah, and The Slowest Medic Ever story that crossed my mind earlier today, and I thought of sharing: a few days ago I was defending on Gravel Pit. I was a Soldier, and I had a Medic sticking to me. We were heading for Cap A, and there was a huge battle going on. I spotted a Spy cloaking nearby and with all the chaos I lost my Medic (probably wandered off to get a medkit).
And the next time I see the Medic, on the other side of the Cap A area, he's healing a Soldier. With my name. I can understand his confusion, but what the hell, Medic.
I of course start firing rockets at the Spy, who just keeps running in circles and I look at the Medic, who's still sticking to the Spy and healing his ass and just standing there like a bloody idiot while I keep spamming rockets at them. Slowest Medic EVER. It was kinda cute, really. Eventually, like a few seconds later the Medic realises that something's wrong and whips out his syringe gun and starts shooting the Spy, but goddamn.
That was one of the moments when I wished I had a headset. Could've told the poor slow Medic that he's healing a Spy. (I SHOULD get a headset because it would make communicating so much easier, but I'm still not too happy about the fact that you never know what kinda shit people pull off when they hear a girl speaking over the voicechat).
I don't know what was up with that Spy either, I didn't see him making a move to backstab the Medic, although he was just standing there, completely clueless of what's happening. I would've just cloaked and got the hell outta there if the guy with my name turned up and started shooting me, but that's just me. :D And yeah, I would've tried to get that Medic first.

Yeah, I'm off to fight more with the paged pool memory problems, maybe I could get the game run for longer than an hour. I need my daily dose of TF2, neeeeed.

How can you tell when a team must be pretty awful in Team Fortress 2?

When I'm topping the scoreboard as a Soldier.

Or then I'm really not that bad a Soldier. And our team couldn't have been that bad since we weren't completely mowed down. We actually managed to keep enemies away from our last point quite a long time, and epic battles broke out over the second-to-last cap.
This was Badlands, by the way. I hate capping the one point that's high up on the rocks and thinking the coast is clear and jumping down, just to hear the "control point is being captured!" annoucement and see some fucking Scout up there. Argh. More climbing yay!
And it feels pretty good to Dominate the enemy team's highest scorer. Maybe this Sniper could've avoided his fate if he had just charged at me with the kukri, since it seems to be easier to melée me to death than trying to plant one between my eyes.
But! I've learned to rocket jump! I mean at least I get somewhere with the jumps (couldn't get on top of that building on Gravel Pit Cap B although I tried), so from now on you'll be finding me spamming the spawn exits on Gravel Pit right after the setup.
And I've never been as afraid capping a point as I was today on Gravel Pit. I was on Cap A, with two Scouts. And I was a Medic. Just us three. I have no idea how I even ended up there, since everyone else was fighting over B. But we actually capped the point, the badass Scouts owned the one Demo that rushed the point and desperately tried to defend by himself. Had my heart in my throat the whole time.

And my achievements are broken. I played another round as a Heavy. More than that, I played THREE ROUNDS as a Heavy in CP_Well, and didn't get the bleeding achievement! Wtf! D:
Well at least it wasn't so bad after I actually started killing some people (got pretty frustrated at first: I was shooting where people are and couldn't kill ANYONE) and had some poor Medic sticking to my butt and healing me and it helped a lot. At least I didn't get killed immediately. And don't get me wrong, I still sucked. I just... could've been worse. And I might see myself playing more as a Heavy in the future. I hate his lack of speed and I get raped seven ways till Sunday by Spies (I had one Dominate me within few minutes. Seriously, "get out of spawn, get backstabbed," that's how it went. After that I was paranoid and checking my back constantly and shooting at everyone) and I'm an absolutely appalling Medic buddy and I still can't seem to hit people, but... okay, yeah, I've only played thirty minutes as a Heavy, maybe I shouldn't expect to be great at it.
And of course had to experience the dreadful "click click click" sound right in the middle of an über when we were charging for a heavily-guarded point. Oh crap. OKAY NOW WHERE'S MY SHOTGUN.

Lesson no:1

If there's something I've learned from the hours playing as Soldier, it's that never, EVER über a Soldier if you need sentries taken out and things are hectic. Because it's only four rockets, maybe five, and if none of them are crits and the Engineer is camping behind his sentry, waving his wrench, chances are that the über goes to a waste and the sentry stays up.
And it can't be just me, I destroy lots of sentries when I'm a Soldier. Even without an über. But especially on Dustbowl Stage Two Cap B: from this moment on I'm never going to über Soldiers (or Heavies, to that matter) to take down the sentries.
Demomen, fuck yes (I'll have to inform Ville that from now on, if he's a Demo, I'll be trying to über him on Dustbowl if there are sentries up on the last point). Pyros, fuck yes, and if that fails it's my fault for failing to draw the fire to myself.
And dear Medics, please don't über me when you see that I'm reloading my rocket launcher. D:
Also: dear Soldier (or Demoman), if we're camping somewhere safe in Dustbowl, building an über, and I'm healing you, would you please start hurting yourself?
I'm a horrible Medic buddy because I can't seem to look after my Medic at all, but at least I can imagine them appreciating that I'm helping them build their übers by firing rockets at myself (I also hurt myself if I have a Medic sticking to me when we leave the respawn and have a long way to where the battle's being fought). And I don't see Soldiers (or Demomen) do it very often. Which is kinda strange.
But that's what you learn by playing a lot of Medic.

I played a round as a Heavy. And for some reason I didn't get Head of the Class. Goddamn. I don't wanna do it anymore, but apparently I have to.

This is what you should expect from now on...

I'm still chickening out of playing Heavy. I'm one class away from Head of the Class achievement, and incidentally that one class is Heavy. Everything in Heavy just puts me off, the speed most of all (I love Soldier, but I'm still sometimes getting frustrated because he's so goddamn slow), and I think even the one round as one will be embarrassing torture for me. Especially if some poor Medic decides to stick to me. Medic's my mostly played class (with 30 hours), and I know noobish Heavies can be the most tedious of them all: chewing through their ammo without hitting anyone, not realising to pick up ammo whenever possible and then having to resort to shotgun when enemies are all over us and thinking they're bulletproof when I'm healing them, thus rushing into a sentry-infested enemy base with some insane kamikaze mentality and then getting angry at me because I didn't heal them.
And I'm quite sure I'd be one of those Heavies.
But it's only a round. Hey, I only had to play as a Demoman for about six minutes before the enemy captured our intelligence four times! Maybe I'll get just as lucky with Heavy!

And yes, before you ask: I'm not a very good player. Not outright BAD, but... maybe not even average. Also depends on the class. I think I'm a fairly good Medic, an average Pyro and Engineer, and a tolerable Soldier (when I'm having a good day) and Sniper. And I'm an absolutely appalling Scout and Demo. As a Spy I'm... I just don't know.
I'd like to play as Spy more. I even said to Ville (my only irl TF2 buddy) before starting to play today that I'd try out Spy. And I went out as a Spy when CP_Well came up.
And I absolutely sucked.
So I changed back to Soldier.
Goddamn Spy is so hard to nail down! I've had some good moments as a Spy, but most of the time enemies seem to see right through me, I fail to sap any buildings, and even botch backstabs on Heavies who're standing still. I don't know how that's even possible. :D Yeah, Spy's one of the hardest classes to master and I shouldn't expect to do well as a Spy after 45 minutes of playtime, but what bothers me is that I'm SO bad that I'm contributing absolutely nothing to my team.
I think I should just stick with Spy and not give up on it after few deaths, thinking it's useless. And only if my team starts whining about my uselessness, that's when I switch back to a class I can play as.

I also don't understand why Soldier's my "it doesn't matter if I suck, this is so much fun!" class. Like I said, I'm only a tolerable Soldier, and that's when I'm having a good day (or I'm playing in Granary. Seriously, there's magic in Granary. Magic that draws all the enemies to where I'm firing my rockets. Especially when it's a crit. It makes no sense that in Granary I'm actually a pretty good Soldier, and then in every other map I just seem to suck). But I like being a Soldier so much that I don't even care. With every other class I change to some other class when I'm having a horrible "get out of respawn, run to the battle, fire a few useless rounds, die" streak.
It doesn't even matter that I can't do rocket jumps! No, really, I can't seem to time the damn jumps at all. It was the best day EVER as a Soldier when I actually managed to jump into BLU's respawn hallways in Gravel Pit cap B (on a first try no less!) and kill a Medic with a full charge before he had the time to hit it.
And I don't mind that I can't do it properly, Soldier's still fun.
And now while I'm at it, here's more examples to make it absolutely clear how bad a Soldier I am: Pyros are my worst enemies. No, seriously. Out of all nine classes Pyros rape me like no other. BAD Pyros, even! Because only the suicidal (or noobish) ones would actually run right at a Soldier from a distance rather than trying to ambush one from behind. And those kill me so properly it's INSANE! Now it's even worse because I have this fear of Pyros and if I see one coming at me I totally lose my shit. :D I try to aim rockets at their feet when they're zigzagging towards me and I never hit and I'm on fire and panicking and backing off and then I'm dead.
So I'm the Soldier who's afraid of Pyros, and can't rocket jump.
And it's still fun!

So I had some usual sucky runs as a Soldier today. It was thanks to me we won a match in CP_Well, though: the enemy had two sentries up on their second cap, and I single-handedly took those down. I died (probably batted to death from behind by some Scout), but teammates capped the cleared point, and a few seconds later the last one. Whoo!
And why is it always me who ends up capturing enemy intel when I have like 40 health left? What happened to teamwork?
And what IS it with these aggressive Snipers suddenly?! Seriously, I had a Sniper dominate me in 2fort at one point. Yeah, I know, not that unusual, I was a Soldier, sure I'm an easy slow-moving target for Snipers... except that the fucker never shot me with his rifle. He was dominating me with the kukri and SMG. That was one of the most embarrassing moments in my life as a Soldier. Luckily I eventually got revenge on him, but still. Goddamn.
And today I had another Sniper come at me with his kukri and melée me to death. WTF! Snipers should stay in kitchen? on battlements at their endless Who's Got a Bigger Sniper Penis battles with enemy Snipers!
No, to be serious, my hat goes off to those Snipers. Glad to see some Snipers doing something else than camping the battlements in 2fort.

I did some ownage as a Pyro today, thankfully (and now, no laughing at my crappy graphics):



I have no idea how that happened (did our team suck?). Insane amount of deaths, wow (and I usually get more kills than assists, that's a lot of assists for me). That's what you get for doing suicide attacks as a Pyro. But I did a really cool capture with Ville (Slaverstrike there) when he was a Medic. Yay us!
...whoa, I just had an idea. If I could talk Ville into being a Medic when I go as a Heavy... maybe it wouldn't be so horrible then. It'd be horrible for Ville, though. :D But worth the try! I can tell him he can just ignore me and change the class if I'm beyond horrible.
Anyway. Hydro is my Pyro map. I LOVE Hydro (people don't really seem to like Hydro and I can't understand why! Hydro's one of my favourite maps, I think only Dustbowl is more fun for me. And Badlands, but that's probably only because it's new) and I always go Pyro in Hydro. I love the ambush possibilities in Hydro, and all the narrow caves and hallways and everything make it perfect for some serious raping. <3 And I don't seem to be that bad a Pyro in Hydro, so at least it works for me. I don't do much capping in Hydro, since I'm a very defensive Pyro (I'm kind of lost as an offensive Pyro, I would never go as a Pyro in Dustbowl or Gravel Pit when playing in BLU).

Also had the awesomest thing happen when playing in 2fort. It's only awesome if you're in the team that does, though. Sneaky Engineers! Too bad we just won, I would've loved to camp it out there and see how desperate the enemy team would get. Tee hee.
No, really, that's really fucking annoying thing to do. But fun, nevertheless, in moderation.
I absolutely hate it when enemy builds their sentries in my team's base, whatever the map. I had one Engineer giving me grey hairs in CTF_Well at one point, fucker was trying to build sentries on our sniper deck. Gladly I ran in while he was at it and could at least inform my team before our base was swarming with enemies.
Thankfully spawn camping is seriously frowned upon and happens practically never, because that's annoying as hell.

Might play a couple of rounds more before heading to bed. Gonna have a loooong day tomorrow.