Here I go!

Whoa, this took longer than I thought. Besides, been playing. Haha. So I'll just cut to the chase.
(I wish I could play on better graphics and post some screenshots: now this is just a wall of text.)

The Heavy unlockables

No, I haven't played much as Heavy (my FPS, and so forth and so forth, but I did pick it up at some point just to try it out a bit), but I have seen the unlockable weapons used in game. I still don't have much to say about them, so:
- The OM NOM NOM sound he makes while eating is priceless.
- Natasha sounds so fine! I really like the revving sound she makes while spun-up, and the firing sound is deliciously... hnngh. It's like Pulse Rifle from HL2: I love the sound it makes while firing. Sounds like it HURTS.

It took me a while to even notice when I was hit by Natasha. Random hits are barely noticeable since the slowdown doesn't last for very long, but when you're face-to-face with a Heavy and getting hit continuously while trying to make a getaway? Yeah, you're pretty much dead.

But yeah, I saw lots of unlockable weapons around already: about two hours after the update people were starting to show up with Natashas and KGBs and Sandviches. Hmph, farmers.
KGB I didn't see used in battle even once (ie. didn't get punched by it. I did saw Heavies running around with it), but I caught several Heavies with their pants down noming on their Sandviches. Easy to locate by the sound they make, easy to dispose of. Since they're usually on low health if they ARE eating.
But issocute.

And Meet the Sandvich was hella funny, even if it wasn't much more than a sandvich in a fridge. The voice acting makes the film, Soldier and Scout are... fuck, they're awesome. :D Scout's OHGODOHGODOHGOD YOU PUNCHED MY BLOOD OUT and his very manly scream in the end... and Soldier's usual "YOU CALL THAT BREAKING A SPINE?!" attitude... oh man, I love Solly.
And Scout abuse just makes me giggle uncontrollably (he had it COMING stupid Scout).

Anyway, I played about half an hour as a Heavy (when I noticed that my team didn't have any in Fastlane) and this far I have five achievements (Iron Kurtain, Red Oktoberfest, Rasputin, Communist Mani-Fisto and Marxman), so at least they aren't too difficult to get. No need to farm. :P

Badwater Basin

I like it. Very much. The map is huge, has lots of variation and as a Soldier and Demo I'm loving the higher ground (my big nerd moment: standing there on top of the cliffs near BLU's first respawn, going "I HAVE THE HIGHER GROUND!"). It's also very confusing because it's so large, and even after playing about an hour on it, I was still getting lost if I strayed too far from the cart tracks. In RED I was completely lost because I didn't have a cart I could follow, haha.
But it's very good map, I like it this far, and it's becoming my ultimate Demoman playground: I broke Demo's most points record just a few days ago while defending on Badwater.
And let me just tell you this: I'm a lousy Sniper, okay? I have a bad framerate, and I'm bad at aiming, and I haven't played as Sniper in several months (except one Sudden Death a while ago when everyone was forced to go Sniper, and I kinda owned that and got like four kills, but it doesn't count). But I was playing on Badwater Basin, right, and this was RIGHT after the update hit, fifteen minutes after. So, the enemy team had something like eight people, and over half of them were Heavies. Slaverstrike was playing as Sniper and owning, saying it's a headshot heaven. But he's a kickass Sniper, he would be owning even if there weren't thousands of Heavies in the enemy team.
So I wanted to give it a try too, because we had enough Medics and I was sucking as Soldier and Demo against the hordes of Heavies. I was kinda sure I wouldn't get any kills (and because Slaver's so much better, he would definitely headshot the guy I had in my sights just as I was fully charged, heh). But I decided to fuck it, and so I went Sniper.
And I owned. Haha.
Seriously, goddamn, just one Heavy after the other, inching their way forward while shooting, STANDING AROUND LIKE BLOODY IDIOTS. Even I can score a full-charged headshot without any trouble. I think I broke MY own Sniper record (which was 8 points, if I recall correctly), since I got at least five headshots and a couple of regular kills during one life.
And after I changed to Sniper, the enemy team started going Spy and Sniper to counter my and Slaver's headshooting antics, and that's when I got my butt handed to me (because I always get outshot by enemy Snipers), but the bottom line is that if the enemy team has hordes of Heavies? I'm going Sniper. Might even try out Spy, o ho ho.

Steel

Definitely the best thing about the update. I LOVE THE MAP. I've been looking forward to playing a game on Steel from May, but I never found a suitable server running it. So I naturally had very high expectations, and I realised that I could be very, very disappointed.
I wasn't. At all.
It's just... it's fucking awesome. So much variety! So much different tactics! and you need to adjust to the changes in the map every time a point is capped. So much... oh man. I applaud to the guy who made the map, it's seriously... it's definitely Valve quality. It could be made by Valve. It's really that good.
People say it's confusing and it takes a while to learn (and the losing team always whines about being lost and not knowing where to go, but those are just excuses, fucking idiots), but I actually think Badwater is so much more confusing than Steel. :D I was so lost on Badwater all the time, but Steel has so many signs on walls, how the hell CAN you get lost? Just follow the signs, they are huge, and they are EVERYWHERE. The map's also not quite as big as it seems. Okay, it got confusing after the enemies capped every point but E, and the main route out of respawn got closed, but still it didn't take very long to find my way to E: all I did was follow the signs. Besides, the map's very logical once you start thinking about it.
Sure it's a bit confusing what with the changing routes depending on what points are capped, but it doesn't take very long to learn how it works. I've played about five full matches on Steel at this point, and I think I have the map down, both from attack and defense viewpoints (and while I usually like defending much much more, on Steel I actually like to attack).

The map also favours teamwork immensely. I mean, sure every Valve-made map promotes teamwork, and you can't win Dustbowl or Gold Rush without actually working together as a team, but with Steel? If your team doesn't communicate, you lose. Once every point but E is capped, there are just so many different routes to the point that it's impossible to win without coordinating your attack. With Dustbowl stage three, for example, pushing is fairly simple since there are only two routes to the point, and hardly anyone uses the canyon entrance anyhow. At least, hardly anyone ever forms pushes from there. Everyone's usually attacking from the same place, that is, the upper route. With Steel it isn't that simple, because there are three main routes to E, four if you count the lower level.
If your team is lost and everyone just tries to attack from different sides, you cannot possibly win (unless your team has all the superior players, ie. you're steamrolling). You need to coordinate a push, get all your team to attack from one place, preferably two to throw the defense off and cripple them. You can't expect to win if someone is attacking from the lower levels: someone comes in from A, someone comes from D, someone comes from C. It just doesn't work that way, especially if there's heavy sentry defense.
No, I've never won the map with a team that didn't communicate.

It might favour defense a bit, but it all depends on your tactic: enemy team capped every point but E when I was defending (and best feeling ever? Playing as Soldier and getting a crit when someone stands on E), and it was surprisingly easy to defend. Then again, if the enemy caps every point, defense does have harder time because it takes a longer time from respawn to the point.
The first time I was attacking, we got A, then got stuck battling over B, and when time was running out, I think a few Scouts went to cap E, which disrupted the enemy defense for a moment since E is all-or-nothing point, but we still couldn't keep a steady offense (I killed half of their team on the point, dammit, and then got killed, and we never capped the point. We were maybe minute on overtime at that point, so once we couldn't push anymore, the game was over).
The cramped spaces do favour some classes more than others, I think: Heavies are seriously going to have a field trip, but you just need to know how to deal with them.
Anyway, best thing about the update in my opinion, and you'll be finding me on 24/7 Steel servers. Best map, hands down.

Arena Mode

I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T STAY ALIVE FOR LONGER THAN 30 SECONDS IN ANY GIVEN ARENA MATCH Haha. I suck at Arena. At this point, I don't like it very much because of that. Maybe it's a working game mode, maybe someone likes it, but I just don't think it's that fun. I always get killed thirty seconds into a round (well, not always, but most of the time. And if I do make it to the end, it's possible that I hadn't killed a single person because I was playing so carefully. Ehh), and since for some reason my team usually loses, I have to sit out the next round.
The spectating doesn't really bother me as long as there's a friend I can watch play, but it does get pretty annoying once all you can do is run out of respawn and get gibbed. Or burned. Or whatever.
Maybe it finally proves once and for all that I'm a horrible player.
Anyway, it was fun for a while - fun enough to stop me caring about the whole sucking at it part - but then it started getting more and more annoying. And it was much more fun on Lumberyard (haven't yet played on Ravine, since I'm now avoiding Arena maps altogether) than on the Arena-fied Granary, Well or Badlands. Maybe because Lumberyard was specifically made for Arena, the rest are the same old maps, just... Arena-fied.

Maybe it's just not my cup of tea. And my two cents: they should maybe remove crits from Arena on default. Because it does get kinda frustrating when you get out of respawn, run to the central area and get gibbed by a crit rocket from a Soldier who hadn't fired even a single rocket before that. Yeah.
Kritzkrieg should work, though.

But Lumberyard is awesome! I love the grass.

Other updates

Increased The Kritzkrieg's uber-charge rate bonus from 10% to 25%

THANK YOU. Now I might be using the Kritzkrieg more, since it was... face it, it IS pretty useless most of the time. D: Now that the charge is so much easier to get, the uselessness of the charge itself doesn't hurt that much. I should try to use the Kritzkrieg more on clear attack/defense maps like Payload maps and Dustbowl and Gravel Pit, since it is pretty useful on defense when you don't have to go against sentries, and sometimes crits make clearing a point easy as pie.
And people have actually started using Kritzkriegs because of this: at least I've seen them around so much more than before the update. Which I think is cool, as long as the Medic knows how and when to use it.

And this next thing is not update related, but something I just wanted to talk about:

Weighted Companion Cube Soccer

As seen, for example here.

I hadn't even heard about this game mode before, but Slaver told me about it and we went to try it out almost instantly. It's lots of fun! I haven't played any of these strange "party modes" before, since I stick so much to official maps, but at least the Soccer is tons of fun.
So the game is ... well, it's soccer. Weighted Companion Cube is the ball, and you need to shoot it to "kick" it. And you need to get it in the enemy team's goal in order to win the round. The Cube radiates health and ammo (like a Weighted Companion Cube should <3), but there are usually no ammo pickups, and only one medium medkit between the team's goal poles, so you need to either salvage dropped weapons, or, better yet, stay close to the Cube. Which you need to do in order to score a goal.
The mode really requires some teamwork, it's nearly impossible to just push through by yourself, and if you just concentrate on killing others, ignoring the Cube, you'll lose pretty fast.
I don't know, but the cube seems to fly farther if you hit it with a crit. I don't know if the damage your weapon normally does has any effect on the "kick," but it would seem that strong projectiles like rockets and bombs make it go farther than, for example, shotgun shots do.
I didn't do any goals, but I had fun.
And it IS lots of fun, even without getting into fundamentals, and I highly recommend it to anyone who's getting bored of the same old capping business.

And then on a completely unrelated note, I finally got the Axtinguisher for Pyro. And after that my Arena adventures took a turn for worse since I started fooling around with it, trying to set people on fire and then hit them with the axe. No, didn't kill anyone. Haha.
Also broke Soldier's most points record on Steel (and once again, the very second I wander away from Newbies Only servers, I start owning. Maybe the latency really does that much, or maybe it's that everyone else just plainly sucks outside of Newbies Only. Haha. I found a random 24/7 Steel server, owned, got a most points record, dominated half of the enemy team and ended up on top of the scoreboard with a score of 130. Only Sonneteer was above me, as Medic. So, yeah), and got a new most points and kills record for Demo, like I told you.
And I even played more as a Sniper, on Gold Rush, and I was doing fairly good! I got owned by the enemy Sniper, but he was the scoreboard leader, so, yeah. Well at least he never got to dominate me, so it could've been worse.

And I can't wait to get the new damn computer.

And haha, now I'm heading out to try and own my little brother in-game: I told him about the Free Weekend and he replied dismissively something along the lines of "well... I MIGHT play if I have the time..." And now he's saying that he's played for like ten hours, and that the game is damn addicting. Well, duh. And apparently he's been trying out Soldier and Scout as well, so he hasn't been just being a pain in the ass Sniper.
So, here's to hoping he hasn't got too good at it yet, I can take advantage of his weaknesses and dominate him fair and square. Haha.

Hee hee.

HA! This ain't so hard:



And I didn't even have a Medic stick to me, they all ditched me right after setup (Medics really hate me, even when I'm doing well they hate me. Then again, I do better without Medics because I get so nervous when I have one and if they über me... well, I start failing in epic proportions) so I plowed my way through the stage all by myself.
And that Dustbowl match ended in 54 kills, 32 assist and dominating half of the other team, so all in all I'm suddenly doing pretty well as a Heavy. I have no idea what happened.
But the most surprising round was another match in Dustbowl. I joined the server in the middle of stage two, after the first point had been capped, and still ended up as an MVP. That was kinda cool.

I'm also surprisingly good at reserving ammo. I've played a LOT as Heavy last night, and only ran out of ammo once. And that was right after an über (thank god not in the middle of it). It's probably because I've got so used to playing Soldier, and I'm nearly neurotic about keeping my reserve rockets over 10 at all times.
But yeah, I was quite sure I'd end up chewing through my ammo in a matter of seconds and not realising to scavenge dropped weapons, but luckily that was not the case.

And playing as Heavy makes me hate Snipers even more. Like I told you, I have this intense fear of (good) Snipers, I choke whenever I see a Sniper dot or the tall figure in the distance and I send a suppressive rocket their way and I try to run and jump and be unpredictable and "D:" and hoping they wouldn't hit me but I know that I'm dead and yes, they always hit me.
And because I'm often playing with such a high ping, I often think that HA I MADE IT after I make it behind something, and half a second later I get hit. Damn lag. Same thing with Heavies: I think I managed to dodge their hail of bullets with 20 or so HP left and damn, still they hit me when I'm already behind the corner. Well at least I know it's my ping, and don't go accusing anyone of HAXORZ. Same thing with facestabs.
But anyway, I hated Snipers as a Soldier because I'm slow and everything, so I'm pretty easy to hit, but at least firing rockets at them makes them retreat instead of continuing to take aim (unless they're already aimed to my giant head, and one click away from a fully charged headshot of doom), and I can escape unscathed (or at least with a few HP left from a failed headshot), but with Heavy? Shooting at them from the other side of the goddamn map does nothing and is hardly an effective way to make them retreat, so most of the time the dispute ends in me being quite dead. I had one goddamn Sniper dominate me on Dustbowl's third stage last night. Whenever I as much as peeked around the last corner - BOOM! Headshot. And there was no way to kill him, goddamn, before I saw which side he was on and proceeded to shoot at him in vain, he would just calmly take aim and dispose of me. And the Heavy is slow as heck, especially when spinning Sasha, so there is no way to get out of harm's way when I'm shooting. Damn Snipers. And of course my team had no Snipers to draw his attention, so I was pretty much screwed.
And I hate Snipers on Gold Rush, oh god I hate them so much.

What does kinda ruin playing Heavy for me is my lousy framerate (I'm getting a constant 20 - yes, I can't WAIT to buy a new goddamn graphics card). Low framerate and lag make it sure that circle-strafers kill me so thoroughly it's not even funny (and I should probably adjust my mouse sensitivity whenever I'm playing as Heavy). I hate getting bonked to death. Damn Spies fail a backstab and then just easily circle around me to try it again. And Pyros? Oh god. I just flail and shoot and try to turn and close but no cigar.

And a funny story of WHY Medics shouldn't EVER über me: I'm Heavy, Slaverstrike's Medic, and he's sticking to me during some Gold Rush setup. I tell him that übering me isn't a really good idea, you should know, I'll waste it anyway, go find someone else to give it to, but he insists on giving it to me. So, the setup ends, the gates open, we rush out and he übers me.
And a second after the charge hits me, the game freezes. It goes completely dead. I literally LOL, and I laugh while waiting for my computer to restart (yeah, it was one of those wonderful little crashes when nothing but restarting works) and oh god, it was priceless. Had to tell Slaverstrike "TOLD YOU SO!" (and apologise for actually wasting his über) and hahahaha oh wow.
We only make a good team when I'M the Medic and HE'S the Heavy. Haha. Other way around it's just something simply atrocious.

Oh yeah, I got complimented as a Medic! The whole thing was pretty far out considering how rotten I am at staying alive, so my Heavy wasn't the only one surprised. We were playing in Hydro, I was following this Heavy around, and I was taking quite a lot of damage. At one point I was in flames, HP dropping dangerously close to zero and we were closing in on the enemy's cap point. And we had another Medic, who of course ignored me completely (I was expecting better out of her, damn it, she's a really good player and I don't think I've ever been as bitter about not getting a heal as I was back then), so the only thing I could do was to follow my Heavy in, with six or so HP left. Ha. He was really worried, telling me to go get some health, but damn it I was THIS close to getting an über, and we were so close to the cap point and I wasn't going to give up, so I kept healing him, almost died of fright when a goddamn Pyro tried to charge us - luckily not from behind - and I got my charge and we hit it and capped the point.
And when the next round started the Heavy told everyone how I had stayed alive for the longest time ever with so little health left and I was going ":3" by myself. That was totally reckless. And awesome as hell. I have a little bit of badass in me.
And damn that Heavy was probably the most polite player I've ever played with. He apologised when he accidentally took the health kit from me (it's hard to not take it when you're trying to get the ammo right next to it) or when he failed to kill the Pyro charging us from behind and killing us, and he fell back when I was taking damage, saying we should wait for a moment so I could regenerate some health and awww. Why can't everyone be like that?
Also damn I love every player who communicates with me when they're running out of ammo and I have a full charge. Not everyone can take sentries down with a goddamn shotgun (I've übered Slaverstrike so many times when he's out of rockets, and he charges a sentry nest with a shotgun and actually takes stuff down with it, but if it was anyone else but him I would probably be pissed), so people, if I'm sticking to you with a full charge, please please please indicate in some way or the other that you're out of ammo if that is the case. Switch to your secondary weapon! Fall back! Use the voicechat! Anything! I hate nothing more than übering a Heavy and all I get is CLICK CLICK CLICK.

You don't see this every day...

OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK.

You probably remember how I've been fighting with Heavy, how I suck as one, how I can't kill absolutely anyone as Heavy, how I just spend most of my time waiting for respawn while I'm playing as Heavy and so and so on.

WELL TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, SUCKERS:



Okay, yeah, that isn't quite as astounding once I tell you from WHAT that score came from, but that's still one crazyass score. And yes, it's one life (my Heavy stats don't look quite as pathetic anymore! Sixteen is pretty good! You can go check it out if you don't believe me). I didn't die even ONCE. And yeah, we were steamrolling.
But that score? Seven captures, two kills. One assist, but it doesn't count. Damn Gold Rush is crazy, and I was basically hugging the cart the whole time. It's perfect, because the cart moves at the exactly same pace as the Heavy does while spinning Sasha, which makes Heavy a nice mobile cart-defending turret. The kills came from a very lucky crit streak while plowing through the narrow hallway after the first checkpoint. Heh, gotta love those crits.
But anyway, my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when the round ended and I saw I was a goddamn MVP. Number one, no less! (And I robbed a Medic from his First Do No Harm, sorry about that.)
I was an MVP on second stage too, but we didn't blow up the base in the third stage, but I was third on the scoreboard, with 59 points (which breaks down to 13 kills, 8 assists, 4 destructions and 19 captures). And I even dominated someone, WTF.

And having a Medic makes such a difference, I completely owned the enemy team at the start of the match once the teams changed and it was my team's time to defend, and the Medic who had been sticking to me went all "lol, nice one, Chrome." To which I replied that I'm actually a really horrible Heavy, but somehow I'm suddenly doing pretty good. Have a wild guess did he stick to me after that? Haha. Way to shoot yourself in the leg there, missy. But I didn't want him to stick to me too much, I would've probably wasted many of his übers.
But yeah, we weren't steamrolling anymore, so I was standing on a more even ground as a Heavy, plus I couldn't mooch all my points out of captures anymore, so I was quite sure I'd end up spending all my time in respawn, as usual. Also my deaths would skyrocket, while my killcount would stay ridiculously small.
Well I'm glad I was wrong: I was actually doing pretty good! Got a new kills record (five!), dominated some other guy, got the most awesome crit streak EVER after sneaking behind the enemy team in the hallways after the first checkpoint on stage two and MOWED THEM DOWN WITHOUT MERCY. Kept chuckling to myself as I emerged from the hallways, only a few hitpoints left and screaming for Medic.
And here's a screenshot of the final scoreboard, so you can see that I'm not making this shit up:



It's really not that great, I have just barely more kills than deaths (but thirty kills it pretty good! For me! That's like... more kills than I've got as a Heavy before this! No, seriously) and most of my points did come from those captures, but still I'm GODDAMN PROUD of myself! I'm glad I didn't give into my fear of sucking and being a drag to my team.
And with this successful Gold Rush match in mind I think I might have the guts to actually play more as the Heavy. I definitely will find myself going Heavy on Gold Rush from now on, it was so much fun - especially when attacking (besides, I was already getting really bored of playing Soldier on Gold Rush). Damn that cart is awesome.

No new Medic achievements, I haven't been really playing as Medic (except last night, uh, I was once again going on a killing spree with an awesome Demoman. We were steamrolling, just the two of us, it was kinda amusing to look at the scoreboard at the end of the match when we were there on the top, sporting twice as much points as the rest of our team. Our team was the sorriest excuse for a team ever, though, and I suppose the enemy team was too).

I've been Engineering on Dustbowl a lot, for a change. Almost broke my sentry kills record. AND got killed TWICE by my sentry today, so apparently that happens even when I'm sober. Damn newbie Spies uncloaking behind my goddamn back and then getting shot by my sentry THROUGH MY BODY.
And I know I'm being a horrible thorn in enemy team's side when half of the team goes Spy to either a) get a revenge on me after getting dominated, or b) finally take me down after having wasted several übers and failed gloriously every single time. Tee hee.
I love it.

And I love noobish Spies, they're so CUTE when they freeze completely. Seriously, I find myself going "aww" at them and not wanting to kill them when they're so adorably clueless. Today I watched this Spy just STAND next to me for god knows how long. I saw him uncloak as I turned to repair my dispenser, so I proceeded to shotgun him in the face. And then I stopped because I was kinda curious to see what he would do. I mean, a good Spy would've got the hell outta there when I saw him uncloak, but this little newbie Spy didn't even MOVE while I shot him: he just stood there, disguised as a Demo. So he stood there for a while, staring, and then he cloaked and ran away. Poor scared little Spy.
I think he actually went to sap my teleporter entrance after that (this was Dustbowl Stage two, I was defending). Yeah, newbie Spy, those were the easy points to get. I should've probably killed you, but damn, you kinda melted my cold Spy-loathing Engineer heart back there.
I killed him the next time I saw him, though.
And I don't remember if it was the same Spy (or some other newbie, damn the server was full of those tonight) who just STOOD STILL while trying to sap my things a little bit later. Needless to say, he got so wrenched. Aww.
Or the one who sapped my sentry and desperately tried to stab me in the face (I was back against a wall) while I just calmly whacked the sapper off. Awww.
I really didn't see any good Spies today, I dominated all the ones that tried to bring me down. Good Spies... I don't exactly know what makes a good Spy (because bad Spies do the exact same things the good Spies do, it's just that... they're not as good at it. I'd probably know the difference if I played more as a Spy), but a good Spy makes me want to ragequit. A good Spy makes it sure that I don't see him coming. A good Spy makes it sure that while I'm alive, I do nothing but beat sappers off of my buildings. A good Spy makes it sure that I spend most of my time in respawn, watching as my buildings get sapped. I don't understand what they do different from bad Spies: sometimes I see a Spy coming, and sometimes I don't.
Okay, yeah, good Spies backstab me first and then sap my stuff, and goddamn I hate it when they do that. With a third level sentry that requires some insane weapon-changing skill, I believe.

Those pesky newbie Spies did get a bit unnerving later on stage three, because there were at least two of them, and my team was full of equally as noobish Medics (there were at least four running around) healing EVERYONE in the vicinity, and I always watched with growing dread as one of the very inconspicuous Spies (I don't know what it is with bad Spies and being able to tell they're Spies from miles away - except that these ones liked to disguise as Engineers, which meant that they were either me, or the team's other Engie who was tanking his sentries on the other side, or waiting for respawn. For some reason he succumbed to the Spies and their sapping antics quite often) beelined straight towards me and my little nest with three spastic Medics in tow. OH GOD THE HORROR.
I should probably use the mic in those situations, but I didn't have my headset plugged in. Plus I'm still afraid to use it, I always get so nervous that I start stammering when I try to say something.
But yeah, I had to tell the Medics to be a bit more careful after I lost my buildings once (go ahead and try to kill a Spy with two Medics glued to his disguised ass!), but yeah, considering how chaotic and spammy that first point area gets... it's no wonder we lost.

Damn the Blutsauger is one sexy weapon. I'm liking it a bit too much right now. It has saved me in situations in which I would've died with the regular syringe gun, Spies don't stand any change against me anymore (the Blutsauger is awesome for spychecking: even when they're in disguise you can leech health from them and SEE IT) and it's just generally the most awesome weapon ever. I even killed a Heavy with it, hee.
And I completely love it when I dominate some poor player (by assists), who then goes Spy and tries to get a revenge on me, just to end up getting killed by me. Again. <3 Honey, if you need to get a revenge on me when I'm Medic, Spy's the one class that can't kill me as unless you know exactly what you're doing (ie. you can't let me see you. At all. A complete surprise is the only way).
And I'm getting closer to Kritzkrieg. I'm hoping I would get it by playing Medic normally, I don't want to start übering Scouts and melée Heavies and disrupting whatever it is that our team is doing. I'm 16/39 through the achievements, so I only need nine.
And I've got Preventive Medicine and Hypocritical Oath since the last I wrote, both by playing just like I would normally play. Hypocritical Oath came as a surprise, it was Goldrush, second stage, last checkpoint, and I was healing everyone in the reigning chaos. Apparently I healed some Spy as well, then heard one of our Engineers exclaiming about a SPAH and I'm apparently really becoming a goddamn Engineer midwife, because I instantly whipped out the Blutsauger and killed the Spy who was trying to sap the buildings. Got the achievement. Didn't even think about it.
So yeah, this far I've got all the achievements by playing Medic like I normally would. Looking forward to getting Big Pharma (I'm positive I can do it in a completely regular game, my assist record is already 19, after all. I'm counting on Slaverstrike), Grand Rounds (already over 100 into that one - damn it, people, now we want you to spam the hell outta E, so why don't you do it?!), Infernal Medicine (about 30 into that), Doctor Assisted Homicide, Intern, maybe Specialist, Second Opinion, Autopsy Report and House Call. Those are the ones I think that I can get by playing normally.

Also, I'm now trying to get the hang of playing the Heavy. I like being a Heavy, it's just that I suck as one. I have my good moments, today I played a couple of minutes without sucking at all! Didn't waste an über, destroyed some buildings, killed a couple of people, and then got wrenched to death by an Engineer, because my Medic had fucked off somewhere. That bitch. Medics hate me when I'm Heavy. Sadness.
And that's what I need: I just need a patient, persistent Medic who will stick to my sorry ass even when I don't get that much kills. It's pretty hard trying to learn to play as Heavy when I can't even stay alive, because people are firing at me from five different directions and the goddamn fatty is so slow that I can't drag my ass to safety before I'm Swiss cheese.
And then I'm trying to be more careful, which just ends in me being a) backstabbed, b) headshot, c) meléed to death by someone who had easily sneaked behind me or d) crouched behind some corner spinning Sasha and being useless because I'm just waiting someone to come to me instead of me going to them.

But Heavy's going to be my next "I'm Learning To Play This Class!" project. Hey, it took me four hours to not suck completely as Soldier, and almost twenty to be any good as one, so I think I'll just have to endure being a horrible, noobish fatty who's hated by Medics. I have to get the hang of it eventually. Right? Right?
And I need more classes to play as, seriously. I only have four: Medic's starting to be my career class because it's the only class I actually feel I'm good at, no matter the situation, and Soldier's my feelgood class (complete love/hate relationship, btw: as Soldier I just CAN'T BE GOOD, whatever it is that I do. I can top the scoreboard and still feel like I suck, and it bothers me SO MUCH. Did that make any sense? No? Love/hate relationship. I wish I knew how to quit you, Soldier, damn you). Engineer's my "there are no Engineers so I'll be one" class. And I've never been a good Pyro on any other map but Hydro. I gave up on Sniper after four hours of playing, because goddamn I hate Snipers. I don't like being a Sniper, because I know how goddamn useless I am when I'm one.
And I'm still chickening out of playing as Spy, I'm an absolutely appalling Scout and a Demo (and I don't think I'll ever bother to learn to play as either of them, I just can't use Scout's abilities to my advantage and I've always been terrible with grenades, I can never predict trajectories right and my timing simply sucks), and Heavy... yeah.
But no, I wasn't good at any class from the get-go, I shouldn't give up on playing a class after an hour of playtime. Of course I'm a relatively good Medic, I have fifty-four hours as Medic. Of course I at least know how to handle the Soldier with the insane sixty-three hours of playtime as one. I've had my fair share of successful Engineering and Spy-owning in thirty hours. I've played as Heavy for an hour and a half, I shouldn't be so surprised that I still suck as one. Same with Spy: I think Spy has the highest learning curve out of all nine classes, and I have one hour of playtime as Spy. Of course I suck as a Spy!
I just hate screwing up our teamwork by being useless.

I'm also starting to love Demomen when I'm Medic. I'm finding myself sticking to them far more often than I stick to Soldiers, for example. Nothing beats good fatties, but damn, good Demomen are serious harbingers of doom. Today was the fourth time within few days that I've been primarily sticking to a Demoman. And if the Demo knows what he's doing when I über him... the destruction! The carnage! Pipe bombs! Gibs! Sentry parts! Everywhere! It's beautiful. Yeah I admit I'm a total assist whore (but just for the record: I get most of my points from healing, not from assists. I've been on top of the scoreboard with over 20 000 healing and less than 15 assists), but I'm starting to notice that good Demomen get any job done way better than good Soldiers do. The only downside is that Demos are pretty much screwed if enemy gets close enough (laying stickies to their feet does kill the enemies, but they often suicide as well by doing that), and if enemy gets close to my healing target, they usually get close to me too, which makes me screwed as well. Except that with the Blutsauger I now have a tiny little chance of making it out alive, but it's still something I'd rather not go through.
But yeah. I love them Scottish cyclops.

Well, that was easy

Look!


That was ridiculously easy.

Heh, I'm once again playing drunk.

I went Medic a few times, just to see if I could get any of the achievements. And it would seem that the Blutsauger is ridiculously easy to get. I got those twelve achievements without even trying. This far I have First Do No Harm (I had three other Medics in my team, but luckily they all sucked, so I got it pretty damn easily on Dustbowl), Quadruple Bypass, Group Health (without coordinating: like I told you, it would be easy to get, what with all servers being full of Medics), Surgical Prep, Trauma Queen (I have no idea how I got this, I don't even remember staying alive for three consecutive übers - yeah, I AM drunk), Double Blind Trial (easy as heck), Play Doctor (sheer luck, I changed to Medic in the middle of a match in Goldrush and got it just like that), Triage, Autoclave (apparently you don't have to kill five people, it's enough to just light them on fire, at least that's how I got it), Midwife Crisis (the first one I got, very easy), Bedside Manner (I was sneaky: I kept healing a Medic who just joined the server during the setup: he got Surgical Prep, I got this) and Chief of Staff.

So. I have a Blutsauger.

AWESOME.

And now I'll jump on a server for a moment to test my brand new pretty Blutsauger. <3 Didn't have time to actually test it, I'm keeping a cigarette break from playing. I'll try to get the rest of the achievements later. I really want to get the Kritzkrieg (got Kritzkrieged a few times today, again, and it was so GODDAMN AWESOME every single time. Fucking hell...). Slaverstrike already promised to help me to get it, so I'm looking forward to it.

BLUTSAUGER FUCK YEAH.

EDIT: I just got Ubi concordia, ibi victoria. WUT. I was sure that's one of the achievements that I wouldn't be getting in quite some time, but well, whaddaya know. I was steamrolling in Granary again (...why am I this good when I'm drunk, seriously?), got the achievement when I was capping the last point with a kickass Demoman. And I'm apparently already 50/200 through Grand Rounds.
Also, Second Opinion is indeed impossible to get. It's apparently very buggy, I've been trying to juggle my übers the whole night, but I still don't have the achievement.

Goldrush!

So. Right.

Goldrush?

Is love.

I'm absolutely loving the map. I'm still pretty lost on it, I haven't even been to every hallway or used every route, and more often than not I find myself going the wrong damn way. Huge map is huge. The first time I was defending on third stage I ran in circles for the entire setup. I left the respawn, had a Medic stick to me, and a few seconds later I found myself BACK in the final checkpoint area and went completely WTF (I suppose there's a shortcut, just like in Dustbowl's stage three? I followed everyone there, but then turned the wrong way and ended up back in our respawn). And the poor Medic was clinging to me the entire time, haha. I was sure he was going wtf is that goddamn Soldier doing, is he lost or what. Didn't leave me, though. (That Medic was a mystery: he kept sticking to me although I was lost half the time and I wasted a few of his übers, and yet he STILL kept giving them to me). Then I followed the tracks (thank GOD for the tracks) and found my way to the cart after BLU had already capped it, heh.
But yeah, I've only played like four games on Goldrush, and most of the time haven't gotten through second stage. And I've never seen BLU actually win, the third stage's final checkpoint favours defense immensely. It was IMPOSSIBLE to get around the last corner after our offense broke. And it was very easy not to let BLU get through when we were defending, although we won with the cart being inches away from the final checkpoint, heh.
Also I don't understand how captures work on Goldrush. Are the stats broken or something, or do you REALLY get a capture each time you get to the cart and make it move? Not only on checkpoints? I was suddenly getting like five captures/life and was pretty surprised because of it.
The map also seems to be buggy as hell. I don't know if it was the map or what, but I got pretty disoriented at one point when the teams changed and my HUD remained RED even though I was in BLU. And when I got übered, I was glowing red. My crits were red. So most of the time I was firing at my own teammates and getting killed because I kept ignoring the REDs. And I was also pretty drunk at that point, which naturally added to the confusion. Ouch.

And, oh, one of the best parts about the map? The way the announcer goes totally fucking insane on third stage when the bomb is nearing the final checkpoint. Her laugh is priceless. I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it.

I was playing Soldier like I said I would be, changed to Medic only once to get the Chief of Staff achievement (I have over 1,5 million healed, so all I had to do was to change to Medic, get the medigun out, and I got the achievement), and so I can't really talk about the unlockables or achievements yet.
I can talk about them from an outsiders' point of view, though, so here we go: there were actually not that many Medics running around. Four was a constant amount, sometimes there were more and sometimes less (I was on a 24 player server), but I didn't even once have TOO MANY Medics in my team.
And goddamn, yes, I had a harem at times. Hee.
I saw quite a lot of Blutsaugers already. They're not really terrifying, but damn it if I don't want one. There were a few Kritzkriegs (of which I will talk about in a moment), and I even got killed by an Übersaw at one point. I also saw people use the damn console command. A player enters, we get announcements of the said player getting the three milestone achievements, and then he was running around with the Übersaw. Thank god Valve already removed the commands, and I'm seriously hoping they'd find a way to roll back the achievements/weapons that people have got by cheating. I believe it's easier to root out those who have the weapons but don't have any other achievements but the milestones. I'm not bitter, I just think that cheating like that is pretty damn low.

But yes. The Kritzkrieg.
As a Soldier? The Kritzkrieg's THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER FUCK YES. I was defending in Dustbowl stage three when I had a Medic with the Kritzkrieg stick to me, and in mere moments: CRIT ROCKETS. EVERYWHERE. Holy fuck I almost came, that's how awesome it was. I saw enemies starting to scatter in panic once they saw the crits, but there was nothing they could do, because even the splash damage was killing people, and oh god it was A THING OF BEAUTY.
After that, whenever there was a Medic with the Kritzkrieg healing me, I actually started paying attention to them and trying to keep them safe, because yeah, I will do anything to get the charge given to me. I'm a total crit junkie, yes, but dammit, you've got a streak a lucky crits before, right? You know how great it feels? How about ten fucking seconds worth of crits?
YEAH.
IT'S THAT GOOD.
Also, the Kritzkrieg is the most terrible thing ever in the hands of your enemies. A Kritzkrieged Pyro charging right at you? I literally panicked. A skillful Soldier with a ten second crit streak? Fucking terrifying. A Heavy? Even from a significant distance that's gonna HURT. A DEMOMAN? FUCKING EVER-LASTING CRIT STICKIES FGSFDS. A melée combat Medic way too close for comfort? Fuck this shit I'm outta here. As in, goodbye cruel world.
The horror of being face to face with a Kritzkrieged enemy is enough to make you forget that they're not in fact immortal. I didn't even once fire at them, I just RAN and tried to hide, resulting in getting killed.

And then some interesting little observations from yesterday.
So, I am usually playing on "Newbies Only" servers. Not because I'm a noob (the regulars over there are seriously not noobs on any scale), but because I've got to used to playing there. The atmosphere is accommodating, there are no horrible assholes, and all the regulars are pretty nice. Plus they're vanilla servers with only the official maps in rotation. And truth to be told, the skill level of other players is on par with mine, that is to say that I don't get my ass completely kicked all the time, and when I have a good day I'm often topping the scoreboard. The lack of teamwork every now and then pisses me off, of course, but that's what you get from playing on a public server. And I can live with that. I rage, but I can live with it. Heh. The only downside is that I've always played with a ~150 ping, but I've got used to it and I'm doing pretty fine with a high latency like that, so I'm not complaining. At least 150 isn't completely insane.
Anyway, yesterday I was playing on a totally random server. I just randomly picked one from the list, requirements being "vanilla," "24/7 Goldrush," and "an agreeable latency (ie. under 200)." Ended up on a 24/7 Dustbowl/Goldrush server (because you know how much I love Dustbowl), with a latency of 20 or so.
I was quite sure I'd end up being steamrolled because I've been playing with "noobs," and I have NO IDEA how my playing skills match with people who supposedly are not newbies. But I steeled myself and thought that I'd just change servers if that ends up being the case. Or suck it up and try my best.

So as it happens, I'm not being steamrolled at all. Quite the opposite. After the first game in Goldrush I was there in the middle of the scoreboard. But after that, Dustbowl, and I'm topping the scoreboard. For the entire goddamn game.
And I was drinking. So I was at least a bit tipsy, if not outright drunk.
Sure, part of it could be the latency, maybe the other players weren't that great (but I, uh, was dominating all the team-stacking clan players in the enemy team...) or whatever, but it doesn't change the fact that I was fucking owning.
After that round I was on top of the scoreboard even in Goldrush (and I wasn't even familiar with the map yet!), and kept wondering what kind of super Soldier do I turn out to be whenever I've been drinking. Haha.
And like I told you, every other player was NOT a Medic. And I had Medics stick to me, but not all the time.
Here, have a scoreboard screenshot, so you can see I'm not making this shit up:


Yeah.

Anyway. I'm going to play some more Goldrush now. I still have a bottle of wine, so I'll probably find myself going fatty at some point (Medic harem, I want one). Or maybe I'll go Medic and aim to übering Scouts and getting the "assist in bonking three enemies" achievement. Hehee.

So I herd you liek updates...

No, I haven't yet played Goldrush or tried to get any new achievements, I haven't even touched TF2 ever since it updated.

Why?

Because the goddamned Valve Land is in GMT-8, and I'm GMT+2. The update came at four in the morning, and I was too tired to play. It was vexing to restart Steam, watch TF2 update, take a look at the list of all the new achievements and then watch bitterly as my friends' names turned green one by one. And I was so tired it hurt.
And I only woke up just a while ago.

But today. Oh boy. I'm finding some Goldrush 24/7 server and playing there for a few hours. Will probably check out my regular servers too at some point. And I will be playing Soldier, and cackling evilly if I can get a ridiculous Medic harem to follow me around.
Yeah, I hear it's MEDICS! EVERYWHERE! so I guess I'll do just what I thought I would and play Soldier and Pyro and Engineer (and Spy fuck yes, now it won't be suspicious at all for a Medic to run around with the syringe gun out. Even a crappy Spy like me could do pretty well with all the Medics around. Especially since most of them are definitely Medicing noobs) for a week or so, and then get back to playing Medic and getting the Blutsauger.
Oh damn, I just realised... Spies are actually going to have even more of a hard time after Medics start getting the unlockables. I suppose Spies will always be holding the regular syringe gun when disguised. Damn. Poor Spies. I would totally feel for them, if I played more as a Spy and didn't think they are a horrible pain in the ass.

And I'm also trying to rope my non-playing friends to join me next weekend, because this is kinda awesome. Lots of noobs around! Hehehe. But yeah, I'm hoping I could get more of my friends to join the game. All you need to do is get Steam!
And I'll have to tell my little brother too, I'd really like to play with him. He'd own me completely (he's been playing Action Quake for ten years or so, and he's pretty fucking good at it), but damn I'd be SO PROUD if I killed him, even once.

EDIT: Oh goddamn, there's a command to unlock all the achievements just by typing it into console. I think it's sad people would actually go down that road with the achievements. I know some of them can be tedious and require some grinding to get, but still.
Just like farming achievements. There are already people running around with Übersaws.