Creative Engineering!

Grand Rounds and Autopsy Report GET! Five more and the Kritzkrieg is mine. I'm also 3/10 through Family Practice and 11/20 through Doctor Assisted Homicide.

And I didn't have to act like an ass to get Autopsy Report, it was Dustbowl, Stage three, and I was attacking. We were holding the line somewhere near the last corner (always the last corner!), but I had to fall back at some point because of an enemy über approaching, and I was holding a full charge and didn't want to die again while holding it (and there was no one there to give the charge to). So I'm waiting behind the second corner, and a Pyro runs around the corner and right at me yelling for Medic. I felt my Spy sense tingling, so I of course whipped out my Blutsauger to see if it indeed was a friendly Pyro in peril or a cheeky enemy Spy trying to trick me. Unsurprisingly it was the latter.
I was pretty damn slow to react after killing the Spy, but I noticed just as I was running over his corpse, that DAMN I could try taunting, and so I did. Got the achievement. Whoo.
I should've bonesawed him, now that I think about it, because he was yelling for Medic. Damn. But I still suck with the bonesaw, with Blutsauger I can actually kill people. Which reminds me, damn glitches, I was playing on Gravel Pit a few nights ago, and had to attack at some point, trying to fall back from just-captured B. And for some reason I didn't have the Blutsauger equipped. Didn't even realise it at first, not until I critted and went WTF the Blutsauger shouldn't cr... oh crap why am I holding the regular syringe gun oh fffff I'm dead, aren't I? Yeah, got killed because of it. I would've probably survived if I had the Blutsauger with me then, Pyros don't really stand a chance against it if I can stay outside the range of their flamethrower. Even if I am in flames.
But yeah, went to equip the Blutsauger during respawn, and actually had it equipped, so it was probably a glitch or something.

Last night I practised something I like to call "Creative Engineering." You know, on certain maps you see the sentries in same places, always, which isn't very clever, considering that the enemy is expecting to see sentries in those places, knows not to get in their line of sight, and prepare an über to take them down. Everyone's starting to know the weak spots of certain sentry locations (well at least I'm starting to know them), which makes those spots liabilities rather than strong defensive measures. So it's actually more effective to have a sentry in a place where no one expects one, even if it gets taken down very easily. So I'm trying to come up with places where no one expects a sentry, and where it can disrupt the enemy offense for a moment or two (maybe buy time for the other Engies to get down their sentries and fortify our base defenses). One of these places, while still a pretty known place for a sentry, is on Dustbowl's stage three's cap A. Usually Engies put their sentries on the ledge that leads out of REDs respawn, and near the stairs next to it. I usually put my sentry on the opposite side, to the right from the cap point, next to the stairs leading to the building. Attackers don't usually expect a sentry to be on that side (because it's more obvious to have the sentries on the other side, plus there are sentries ALWAYS on that side, and not nearly as often on the side I'm building on), and they use their übers trying to take down the sentries on the left, usually ignoring mine. Even if they take down the sentries, mine is going to shoot them in the back, sending them to respawn and buying time for other Engies to get their sentries back up. So the next time they try to take down my sentry, and the other sentries shoot them in the back. The setup can only be defeated with multiple co-ordinated übers (or with a very skilled Demoman chucking pipe bombs or stickies through the tiny windows in the building. With enough skill you can get them land right on top of my sentry. I hate Demomen when they do that). Or Spies.
Defended the point last night with this setup, and I even was an MVP that round.
Creative Engineering is plenty of fun on Gravel Pit, too. On Dustbowl it's pretty hard, but Gravel Pit is perfect for it.

Also, played a lot of offensive Engineer. Because I hate it when on certain maps you never get teleporters to front lines because no one ever plays Engineer when the team's attacking. Sure, offensive Engies are pretty useless on Dustbowl before the first point is capped (except on stage two: a sentry in the dugout can keep those pesky spawncamping-loving Pyros away. Stage three needs a dispenser and a sentry to guard it, because the first point area gets really spammy and as a Soldier I always run out of ammo and I hate to go back to respawn, or risk getting killed trying to scavenge any dropped weapons. Also, it keeps Pyros from spawncamping, and makes approaching enemy übers busy: instead of killing our men, they try to take down the sentry) and with the defense trying to push us back, it's pretty hard to get down a sentry to keep THEM back. It's totally awesome if you DO get a sentry down. Ensured a capture on stage two last night: got a first level sentry down close to the tiny building with ladder leading to its roof, which kept enemies off the point.
Another awesome offensive Engie moment was on Gravel Pit: we were attacking A after getting B, and I managed to get a sentry down just beside the cap point. Very vulnerable spot, but no one expected it, so it killed quite a few defenders before it got taken down, and by then the point was already capped. HA. After that I got buttraped and dominated by a FUCKING SCOUT, and we never got C. Jesus Christ I hate good Scouts. Couldn't even get a teleporter down.
I blame being drunk, but yeah. I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse. Teammates were complaining about the Scouts as well, so at least I wasn't the only one who got dominated by them.
Also went offensive Engineer on Gold Rush (being Engie on Gold Rush is still pretty weird for me since the map is so new), mainly to get those telporters up, because damn they make a difference. And while I was taking care of teleporting people to the front lines, I also experimented and tried to get down some sentries. Offensive sentries are almost always unexpected, which is great, and if they work, they can really stop defense from pushing us back.

But my greatest offensive Engineer moments were on Granary. I haven't played much as Engineer on Granary, because I find it really hard to build a sentry that would LAST for longer than a few minutes. There are no really good sentry locations, which naturally makes it great for some really creative Engineering. So my team is dominating, so I know to put my teleporter entrance down next to our SECOND respawn point instead of the base spawn, because I know we're going to cap the middle point anyhow. After the setup I wait for a moment, and then sneak in and try to get a sentry down right next to the point, to ensure our capture. After that I try to move it right outside the enemy warehouse capture point, to stop enemies from getting out of the warehouse and go capture the middle point back. You have no idea how many kills I got with those sentries. And I probably pissed off the enemy team to no end, he he. Sure, the sentries got taken down not long after the enemy learned about them, but it still makes me happy to get five odd kills with a sentry that no one saw coming. Also, I'm not very invested in those sentries, so once I get them down, I fuck off to do something else (for example, to lure enemies to my sentry, a huge hearty LOL at all the Pyros and Scouts who actually followed me and got shot, ha ha!), because the sentry IS going to die, and there's no use for me to tank it. Besides I usually get killed with my sentry, so if I'm not tanking it, I stay alive, and can get another sentry up somewhere else in a matter of seconds. I also don't upgrade them too much: if there's ammo supply close, I get them to level two and that's it.
Anyway, wherever it is that the sentry is, I put down my teleporter exit somewhere close by. After the warehouse point is capped, I move the teleporters accordingly, and try to put a sentry in the warehouse, to keep the enemies pinned near their base. I don't know how useful I was being, but at least I got a shitload of points from teleports. That's my main function as an offensive Engineer, after all: coming up with obscure sentry locations is just the "for fun" part.
And of course it would work much better if I didn't get shot to death by my own sentry all the time, but what can I say. I was drunk.



But anyway, not playing Engineer like I normally would definitely made it much more fun. Might have to do it more. Preferably while I'm sober and not as prone to dominate myself.

And ha, our little faggotry-filled Circlejerk group has our own server now. The name's MANTRAIN, so I'd really like to see the faces of my "normal" Steam friends once they see THAT on their Friends tab.

What Chrome did today in TF2, part who-knows.

I sucked in Dustbowl.
I hate sucking in Dustbowl because it's my favourite map and Soldier's one of my strong Dustbowl classes (along with Medic and Engineer), but today I just couldn't keep my act together. Or then I just should stop comparing myself to those monsters who top the scoreboard with 100-something points when I'm there in the middle with 40 and thinking that I must suck. :/ Kept capping a lot, though, especially on stage two. And it's almost a foolproof way to cap stage three's first point by rocket jumping on it. Or rocket jumping a bit to the left from it and just hanging out behind the point and firing at all the adorably oblivious Demos and Soldiers who have their backs turned to me.
And for the first time ever I was actually a part in capping the final point on stage three. I don't remember ever actually standing on that point.

Epic Gravel Pit.
I joined the server in the middle of the match, went BLU because they had a slot free, chose to play as Pyro, and found out my team had already capped A and there was seven people standing on cap B. Alrighty. I headed out to B, spotted a Spy and killed him, then hearing the announcer tell me that my team has received additional time, so I headed out to C instantly. Tried the right entrance first, but there were too many people and a first level sentry, so I returned and took the left one, dropped down from the ledge and started climbing up towards the point. The sentry at the right hurt me a bit at some point, but not too much, and I reached the top finding two Engineers and a dispenser huddled in the back of the cap area, so adorably defenseless. I killed them both, flamed the dispenser out of commission and I think some other RED people were rushing the point because I got two assists at some point. But the Engineers were dead and I capped the point with a Soldier who stumbled by.
Pretty good for ONE LIFE. :3

And for the first time ever a teleporter exit of mine stayed alive pretty damn well in 2fort. A teleporter exit that was in the enemy sewers (behind the little blind corner right below the staircase that leads to the sewers). Usually teleporter exits get killed pretty fast in 2fort, but I had to replace this one only twice during the game (it was out for maybe ten minutes in-between because I'm such a paranoid Engie that I don't want my sentry getting destroyed the very minute I decide to fuck off to drop the exit somewhere. So of course it got sapped just as I was returning from my perilous journey, damn it). Hell, the ENTRANCE got destroyed more often than the exit. :D

And then for some genuine BRAGGING.
There is magic in Granary. And I had a good day. Because after one round, which ended in our victory, I was the ultimate scoreboard leader with 19 points. The next one in my team had 10 points, as well as the enemy team's best scorer. And I died just twice (the first time it was an unexpected sentry close to the enemy's last cap point, and the second time I was charging for the last point and totally underestimated a Demoman. Unsurprisingly it usually proves to be my downfall). Had one darling Medic sticking to me while I was defending one of our points (Medics don't really stick to me, which I understand perfectly, because I'm simply a horrible Medic buddy. And I'll address this in the next paragraph) and I have him to thank of my score and staying alive so well. THANK YOU RANDOM MEDIC. You're not a maggot (like everyone else).


So yeah, a rant of sorts, about Chrome as a Medic buddy.
So like I said, I'm a horrible Medic buddy. I don't expect Medics to stick to me or give me their übers, I expect them to heal my ass when I ask and then leave me to get myself killed. I can't look after them (I have my hands full trying to keep myself alive, and I usually fail even with that), and I don't get that much kills, especially when I'm nervous about having a Medic and needing to fill their expectations about being relatively safe and getting some assist kills and maybe being even a bit useful to the team cause. If they über me, I start failing in EPIC proportions. And that is if I'm Soldier.
As a Pyro I prefer NOT having Medics around, because I'm a completely suicidal Pyro, and of course a Medic would help keep me alive for a bit longer when I'm circle-strafing a Heavy, but the point is that my Medic would more than likely get killed too, and I bet he has way better things to do than get killed because of one suicidal Pyro. I'm perfectly fine needing to fall back a bit and call for a Medic to get healed. I'm fast, I don't mind falling back.
And as a Pyro I don't completely fail with übers because I don't exactly have to AIM like when I'm a Soldier.
And I absolutely hate it when fully charged Medics don't communicate. Okay, not everyone has a mic, but a simple "Go! Go! Go!" voice command would suffice nicely. D: Even actions before giving the über help tremendously. I don't generally expect to get übered, so if some random Medic just suddenly sticks to me with a full charge and hits it when I'm in the middle of a reload and falling back, don't fucking expect me to actually get something done! Heal me for a while first so that I can actually see that you have an über, and for fuck's sake would you look at me, I'm reloading. Or if I'm suddenly falling back from the front lines, it probably means that I'm going to get more ammo. Don't über me when I do that! I understand if we're being fired at, and the Medic has to pop the charge or die, but unexpected übers right out of the blue are probably my least favourite thing ever. :D
And another thing: if you stick with me with the full charge for some time and we're closing in to a CP or a sentry nest or whatever, I'm kinda expecting you're giving the über to me. I'm keeping myself loaded, and actually looking after you now.
And then you leave me for a Heavy or someone just when I go around that corner and prepare to shoot and kill and destroy. Then I notice that the fucking Medic left me half a second earlier for some fat Russian hussy, and die feeling bitter. THANKS. Please, tell me if you're going to do something like that. "If I see a Heavy I'll leave you," okay, then, that's fine.
And if you're switching, you need to TELL ME. I fucking hate to see that okay, I'm glowing, I need to go, and I go around that corner and there are sentries everywhere and a Heavy camping a dispenser and half a dozen of Soldiers and Demos and a Pyro running straight at me, just to see that I'm not glowing anymore and the Medic runs past me with a Demo or something. Ouch.
Medics are the one class that needs to communicate.

I remember one time I actually was a good Medic buddy. This was in CP Well, a Medic sticks to me and he's about to die, so I go totally out of my way so that he could get the medium medkit in the middle point building. I hope he appreciated that even a bit.

Breaking scores!

I have no idea if I'm any good as Soldier or am I just ridiculously lucky.
I don't spam anymore, and I've noticed how I'm starting to calculate the opponents' possible movements and firing rockets accordingly. So at least I'm getting better, that's for sure.

But take today, for instance: first few maps I absolutely suck. I can't hit anything, I get killed by Pyros (yes, Pyros are still my archnemesis. If you really want to kill me when I'm Soldier, go Pyro and run straight at me. Then laugh at how I succumb to your flames like a Spy), I get killed by anything that's shot at my general direction. And the enemy team wasn't even too overpowered: we were doing quite well.
I suck and I refuse to change classes, because I'M SERIOUSLY NOT THIS HORRIBLE AT THIS, LEMME TRY THAT AGAIN.
Then again, maybe I was just having a bad day. Spies were completely raping me whenever I went Engie (they were good Spies, I admit, because bad ones don't cause me much grief) and this one Scout brat (seriously, the player was a kid, he used a mic. And to me all children are annoying and obnoxious, so excuse me. How do I mute?) kept owning me. Goddamn there's nothing as annoying as someone probably almost fifteen years my junior playing the one class that Engineers usually dominate easily, just effortlessly owning my ass whenever he stumbles by.
He was really good, I give him that.
And there is magic again in Granary, because for some reason I was on top of the scoreboard there. As Soldier. And our team didn't suck, it was actually a pretty damn good team (we didn't win, but it's because the enemy team was even better, duh). But for some reason Granary is my Soldier playground, I always do well there. Strangely enough.
Wasn't a completely rotten Medic when I went one, but oh well. Even racked up some kills in Gravel Pit. Two kills within few seconds: ASSAULT MEDIC. I absolutely hate all them badass Medics, because it's always kinda embarrassing to get killed by syringes. It's completely awesome when I do it, naturally.
And before you ask, for me ze healing comes before ze hurting: I rarely attack as a Medic. Only when I'm cornered or alone (because seriously I ALWAYS have better things to do than kill someone: except when there is no one else around and that goddamn Pyro is heading for our intel), when I KNOW I can get the kill, or when it's a Spy.
But yeah, I've clocked about 33 hours as a Medic, and my kill count is maybe a hundred, so I really don't do much killing when I'm Medic.

But then. Suddenly, I am a kickass Soldier.
It all began when I once again managed to jump on top of cap B in Gravel Pit just as some übered enemy ensemble was rushing the point, so I finally got to cause suffering by firing rockets from the windows at the adorably unaware enemies standing on the point. Aww three defenses. I ran out of ammo pretty fast since I didn't have a dispenser handy, but at least I managed to thwart one of their capture attempts.

Then. Dustbowl. RED. Stage Two. I managed to stay alive from the capping of the first point to the end of the round. Which ended in our victory. I didn't even think about it, but I kept running all around the place, had one Medic healing my ass whenever I was in need (he didn't stick to me, which I think was a good thing, because when I have a Medic I have this tendency to be a bit braver, which usually ends in a gruesome death. YEAH STICKIES ON THE FLOOR WHO CARES 8D and then "boom!"), and if he was not close by, I returned to the nearest dispenser for health and ammo. We kept the enemies pretty far from the point, they didn't really get through the tunnels.
The result?
20 points in one life. 20 fucking points in one life. That's like... I almost spewed my tea all over the monitor when the next round started and "You had more kills as Soldier that round than your previous best - 16" announcement popped up. I hadn't even thought about it! Came as a complete surprise! I kinda realised I stayed alive for a very long time (like I've told you, I die a lot, and I die fast), but I had no idea the whole round was THAT successful! I thought I had maybe gotten eight or so kills.
So, 16 kills, 2 dominations, I'm not quite sure were the rest two points destructions or assists, but who cares. Also damage dealt record and longest life.

Now my Soldier stats don't look so pathetic anymore! My best score before was 9 (which is kinda really pathetic since I've played so much as Soldier. 30 hours, eh. But look at the bright side! At least the thirty hours have taught me something!).
And yeah, it's my best overall score, Medic and Engineer come next with 16 points. Go check my Steam ID if you wanna see more of my stats, no use talking about them when you can just see them for yourself.

Yes, I am aware that the scores don't really matter, but we've gone over this a few times already, so let's just skip it this time.

Also I had no idea how much I would actually end up enjoying playing as Soldier.

And I don't even remember when's the last time I was so embarrassed by something: I was playing in Dustbowl, I was in RED, and we were getting our asses properly kicked by BLU. People were whining how the team sucks and we WERE pretty bad, I admit.
Then Steam kicked me, for some reason or another, and I had to reconnect to the server. So I'm in the team selection screen, the teams have an even number of players and I'm thinking that I'm still gonna go RED because I would have to try to make a difference and come on, it would be simply HORRIBLE to go BLU since they've been owning us.
And then I ACCIDENTALLY CLICK THE BLU DOOR. D: I got in, so I chose a class and quickly returned to the team selection screen because I AM NOT GOING TO DO THIS OH MY GOD, and I see as someone else enters RED and I can't change teams anymore.
I was so embarrassed. I was hoping RED would be able to defend (this was Stage Three) and we would lose because oh my god. Every time someone killed me I kept thinking what they must think of me, how I'm a sore loser and oh god, I totally deserved that crit 'nade or whatever.
We didn't get the last point, so at least justice was served. To me, anyhow.
(It also wasn't a surprise why BLU was so superior: they communicated really well.)
What makes it even more embarrassing, is because I always get really angry when autobalance hits, some poor sod is tranferred to the losing team, and they immediately disconnect and try to get back into their old team. I think it's probably the lamest thing ever. Way to take the game a bit too seriously, dipshit!
And yeah, I hate it too when autobalance hits, but I would NEVER disconnect and try to join my old team. Take the epic Dustbowl match a few days back, when I got switched to RED. I was annoyed, but I just sucked it up and started killing my old team mates. And I ended up having so much fun and actually winning, so.

I also have my own headset now, but I still chicken out of actually using it.
And "comfortable to wear over long periods" my ass, I wore it for five hours and now my ears hurt like sons of bitches. It's also not very practical with glasses, stupid neckband. But! It's got good-enough sound and the mic works, so I'm not going to whine. A lot.
Now if I could just get over the fact that I sound like an idiot, and actually use the thing. I speak very good English, damn it, but when I get nervous I start stuttering and my otherwise so normal (albeit probably strange to native speakers) accent turns into this stiff Finnish accent and I pronounce words all wrong and ouch.