Update about the Scout update #3

I love it when Valve basically reveal three things in one update.

Pay note to the background image: the new game mode will clearly be some sort of Payload race, since there are two cart tracks, one in red and one in blue. Intriguing! I'm definitely looking forward to hearing more about it, the idea definitely sounds fun, at least it's not about the same old attack-defense mechanic.
And the second one: that is not the Scattergun the Scout's holding in the image. It looks similar at first glance, but if you look closer, you can see that it's not the same, it's missing the round chamber of Scattergun, and it looks shorter. It rather looks like a regular sawed-off shotgun. AND when you check out the achievements, there's "Fall Classic" which sports some kind of a buzzsaw in its image. OH I WONDER...

ILU Valve.

Scout unlockables? Curious about the mechanics of the Sandman, will probably start using it (if I ever manage to get it, that is. I'm not the greatest Scout, so getting the achievements might be a bit trickier than with other classes) because I'm not a very jumpy Scout anyhow, and the Energy Drink seems interesting as well. I kinda dislike the pistol since it's got so ridiculously low ammo, but I use it a lot to finish off enemies out of Scattergun range and - naturally - take potshots at distant sentries, so I don't know if I want to replace it. And if a sawed-off shotgun replaces Scattergun I'm extremely curious to hear about its tradeoff, since Scattergun is basically a sawed-off shotgun: both are defined by the larger spread. It also bothers me that they would look so similar, and Valve's been careful to make the unlockable weapons look different from the regular ones. Maybe it IS the Scattergun in the image, idk, I just can't see the round chamber no matter how I look at it.
Conjecture, conjecture, we'll see once it's officially revealed.

And I love the subtle slap on the wrist of all exploiters: see the Announcer's post on the official TF2 blog. There are so many reasons to go "ILU Valve" right now.

You are a loose cannon sandvich, but you are a damn good cop!

Lookie what I've got!



It did take a bit long (I've been mainly playing as a Heavy for a few nights now), but as you probably know, I'm not that good a Heavy. All thanks to Sonneteer who kept sticking to my ass (even when I'm munching away on my sandvich in respawn and while THE CART IS NEARING THE CHECKPOINT... yeah, I didn't notice anything, enthralled by my brand new beautiful sandvich, but apparently Sonny kept laughing until we got out: yeah, the cart is moving and I'm camping in respawn, all JUST ONE SANDVICH YOU GUYS THEN WE CAN GO) and helping me to get several of the achievements.
And having a darling Medic running to me with a full charge when I'm getting out of respawn after getting headshot... gotta love it.

And for fuck's sake, if a mediocre Heavy like me can get a bunch of achievements in a few hours, playing just like I normally would, anyone can. I understand if you want the unlockables NOW NOW RIGHT NOW I CAN'T WAIT, go ahead and farm, none of my business, but I fucking hate it when people whine about the achievements being too hard. And yeah, the idiots who come to a non-achievement-grinding server and run around boxing or trying to taunt... well, they're idiots. And they deserve their bans.
But it's possible to get most of the achievements - the 20 required for the unlockables - in regular gameplay without acting like an idiot. Why don't people understand that?
And yeah, I'm probably the only person who finds getting the achievements fun: farming them would take all the fun out of it. I don't even mind the unlockables being tied to the achievements. I don't mind that I don't have them from the get-go. Because getting them is not impossible.
Sure, getting the Spy unlockables would be impossible for me, but I don't play as the Spy, what the hell would I do with the Spy unlockables?
Jesus Christ, people are idiots.
Newsflash.

Besides, I'm learning some new tricks all the time while playing, and I don't think I've ever been a complete drag to my team while insisting to play as Heavy to get the achievements (and today I was an MVP several times, so it could be that in fact I might be even somewhat useful and learning something! Le gasp!). Sure I would be doing better as a Soldier or Medic or even a Demo, but hey, you can't expect to get better at playing as a certain class if you never actually play as that class.
So I'm slowly learning. And getting the achievements while I'm at it.

So, the Sandvich? Well now I know what I'll be doing during all the setups from now on. OM NOM NOMing away. I forget to use it in battle, and this far I've consumed a grand total of one sandvich when I actually needed some health. It's pretty useful, gotta admit. Especially since all Medics (except Sonny) hate me.
And it's pretty horrible to run out of Sasha ammo while you have the Sandvich equipped. Not that I've ever even killed anyone with the shotgun, but I feel much safer running to the closest ammo crate when I'm holding a boomstick INSTEAD OF FISTS. And running out of ammo while übered? Yeah, that's a whole different nightmare.
Also, I want to be able to hit people with the Sandvich! Come on, it would be epic!

And I'm probably getting Natascha after a few matches: while I don't have that many achievements yet, I have several that are just missing a few kills/captures/whatever. Party Loyalty is 46/50, Factory Worker 14/20, Soviet Union about 20/25... Pushkin the Cart, Lenin a Hand and Purge I'm also getting pretty soon.
And, yeah, I have (in addition to the five I already mentioned in some earlier post) Class Struggle, Stalin the Cart, Supreme Soviet, Own the Means of Production, Crock Block and Five Second Plan. And the first Milestone. So, four achievements and then Natasha will be mine.

I also have a new-found respect for Snipers. Because as a Heavy? Fuck I hate them.
I never thought I'd want a team with more than one Sniper, but the final checkpoint on Gold Rush? Yeah, I kinda wanted half of my team to go Sniper just to keep the three ominous figures standing there on the balcony in check, so that I could peek around the freaking corner without getting a bullet between my eyes.
Stupid fucking Snipers.

And today marks the first time ever, when as a Demoman, I didn't panic or get nervous at all when I was übered. We're on Dustbowl, attacking, the third stage just started, and a Medic with a full charge sticks to me right out of the blue, informing via voicechat that Chrome, we're now going to take down the sentries.
So I was like "OKAY!" and went there, and took the sentries out, all cool and calm and collected, and then we rushed the second point and won within fifteen seconds, I think. MVP, bitches.
That was awesome.
I've been playing a lot as a Demo, too, since Badwater is hella awesome for causing some serious sticky havoc. I'm even starting to like being an offensive Demo: I usually played Demo more on defense, since it's easy to just lay down the stickies on the point and camp nearby. Now I find myself going Demo on offense too, since I don't have to lay my stickies anywhere and I can use them as remote-controlled regular 'nades and I'm getting better at using them like that. THE MAYHEM. IT IS SWEET.

And now I'm forced to take a little tiny break from playing: real life insists on interfering. But at least from next week onward I'll be sharing an apartment with another TF2 player, and we'll just see how deadly a pair me and Slaverstrike can make once we can actually communicate. That is, yell from one room to another. I'm definitely looking forward to it, haha.

Here I go!

Whoa, this took longer than I thought. Besides, been playing. Haha. So I'll just cut to the chase.
(I wish I could play on better graphics and post some screenshots: now this is just a wall of text.)

The Heavy unlockables

No, I haven't played much as Heavy (my FPS, and so forth and so forth, but I did pick it up at some point just to try it out a bit), but I have seen the unlockable weapons used in game. I still don't have much to say about them, so:
- The OM NOM NOM sound he makes while eating is priceless.
- Natasha sounds so fine! I really like the revving sound she makes while spun-up, and the firing sound is deliciously... hnngh. It's like Pulse Rifle from HL2: I love the sound it makes while firing. Sounds like it HURTS.

It took me a while to even notice when I was hit by Natasha. Random hits are barely noticeable since the slowdown doesn't last for very long, but when you're face-to-face with a Heavy and getting hit continuously while trying to make a getaway? Yeah, you're pretty much dead.

But yeah, I saw lots of unlockable weapons around already: about two hours after the update people were starting to show up with Natashas and KGBs and Sandviches. Hmph, farmers.
KGB I didn't see used in battle even once (ie. didn't get punched by it. I did saw Heavies running around with it), but I caught several Heavies with their pants down noming on their Sandviches. Easy to locate by the sound they make, easy to dispose of. Since they're usually on low health if they ARE eating.
But issocute.

And Meet the Sandvich was hella funny, even if it wasn't much more than a sandvich in a fridge. The voice acting makes the film, Soldier and Scout are... fuck, they're awesome. :D Scout's OHGODOHGODOHGOD YOU PUNCHED MY BLOOD OUT and his very manly scream in the end... and Soldier's usual "YOU CALL THAT BREAKING A SPINE?!" attitude... oh man, I love Solly.
And Scout abuse just makes me giggle uncontrollably (he had it COMING stupid Scout).

Anyway, I played about half an hour as a Heavy (when I noticed that my team didn't have any in Fastlane) and this far I have five achievements (Iron Kurtain, Red Oktoberfest, Rasputin, Communist Mani-Fisto and Marxman), so at least they aren't too difficult to get. No need to farm. :P

Badwater Basin

I like it. Very much. The map is huge, has lots of variation and as a Soldier and Demo I'm loving the higher ground (my big nerd moment: standing there on top of the cliffs near BLU's first respawn, going "I HAVE THE HIGHER GROUND!"). It's also very confusing because it's so large, and even after playing about an hour on it, I was still getting lost if I strayed too far from the cart tracks. In RED I was completely lost because I didn't have a cart I could follow, haha.
But it's very good map, I like it this far, and it's becoming my ultimate Demoman playground: I broke Demo's most points record just a few days ago while defending on Badwater.
And let me just tell you this: I'm a lousy Sniper, okay? I have a bad framerate, and I'm bad at aiming, and I haven't played as Sniper in several months (except one Sudden Death a while ago when everyone was forced to go Sniper, and I kinda owned that and got like four kills, but it doesn't count). But I was playing on Badwater Basin, right, and this was RIGHT after the update hit, fifteen minutes after. So, the enemy team had something like eight people, and over half of them were Heavies. Slaverstrike was playing as Sniper and owning, saying it's a headshot heaven. But he's a kickass Sniper, he would be owning even if there weren't thousands of Heavies in the enemy team.
So I wanted to give it a try too, because we had enough Medics and I was sucking as Soldier and Demo against the hordes of Heavies. I was kinda sure I wouldn't get any kills (and because Slaver's so much better, he would definitely headshot the guy I had in my sights just as I was fully charged, heh). But I decided to fuck it, and so I went Sniper.
And I owned. Haha.
Seriously, goddamn, just one Heavy after the other, inching their way forward while shooting, STANDING AROUND LIKE BLOODY IDIOTS. Even I can score a full-charged headshot without any trouble. I think I broke MY own Sniper record (which was 8 points, if I recall correctly), since I got at least five headshots and a couple of regular kills during one life.
And after I changed to Sniper, the enemy team started going Spy and Sniper to counter my and Slaver's headshooting antics, and that's when I got my butt handed to me (because I always get outshot by enemy Snipers), but the bottom line is that if the enemy team has hordes of Heavies? I'm going Sniper. Might even try out Spy, o ho ho.

Steel

Definitely the best thing about the update. I LOVE THE MAP. I've been looking forward to playing a game on Steel from May, but I never found a suitable server running it. So I naturally had very high expectations, and I realised that I could be very, very disappointed.
I wasn't. At all.
It's just... it's fucking awesome. So much variety! So much different tactics! and you need to adjust to the changes in the map every time a point is capped. So much... oh man. I applaud to the guy who made the map, it's seriously... it's definitely Valve quality. It could be made by Valve. It's really that good.
People say it's confusing and it takes a while to learn (and the losing team always whines about being lost and not knowing where to go, but those are just excuses, fucking idiots), but I actually think Badwater is so much more confusing than Steel. :D I was so lost on Badwater all the time, but Steel has so many signs on walls, how the hell CAN you get lost? Just follow the signs, they are huge, and they are EVERYWHERE. The map's also not quite as big as it seems. Okay, it got confusing after the enemies capped every point but E, and the main route out of respawn got closed, but still it didn't take very long to find my way to E: all I did was follow the signs. Besides, the map's very logical once you start thinking about it.
Sure it's a bit confusing what with the changing routes depending on what points are capped, but it doesn't take very long to learn how it works. I've played about five full matches on Steel at this point, and I think I have the map down, both from attack and defense viewpoints (and while I usually like defending much much more, on Steel I actually like to attack).

The map also favours teamwork immensely. I mean, sure every Valve-made map promotes teamwork, and you can't win Dustbowl or Gold Rush without actually working together as a team, but with Steel? If your team doesn't communicate, you lose. Once every point but E is capped, there are just so many different routes to the point that it's impossible to win without coordinating your attack. With Dustbowl stage three, for example, pushing is fairly simple since there are only two routes to the point, and hardly anyone uses the canyon entrance anyhow. At least, hardly anyone ever forms pushes from there. Everyone's usually attacking from the same place, that is, the upper route. With Steel it isn't that simple, because there are three main routes to E, four if you count the lower level.
If your team is lost and everyone just tries to attack from different sides, you cannot possibly win (unless your team has all the superior players, ie. you're steamrolling). You need to coordinate a push, get all your team to attack from one place, preferably two to throw the defense off and cripple them. You can't expect to win if someone is attacking from the lower levels: someone comes in from A, someone comes from D, someone comes from C. It just doesn't work that way, especially if there's heavy sentry defense.
No, I've never won the map with a team that didn't communicate.

It might favour defense a bit, but it all depends on your tactic: enemy team capped every point but E when I was defending (and best feeling ever? Playing as Soldier and getting a crit when someone stands on E), and it was surprisingly easy to defend. Then again, if the enemy caps every point, defense does have harder time because it takes a longer time from respawn to the point.
The first time I was attacking, we got A, then got stuck battling over B, and when time was running out, I think a few Scouts went to cap E, which disrupted the enemy defense for a moment since E is all-or-nothing point, but we still couldn't keep a steady offense (I killed half of their team on the point, dammit, and then got killed, and we never capped the point. We were maybe minute on overtime at that point, so once we couldn't push anymore, the game was over).
The cramped spaces do favour some classes more than others, I think: Heavies are seriously going to have a field trip, but you just need to know how to deal with them.
Anyway, best thing about the update in my opinion, and you'll be finding me on 24/7 Steel servers. Best map, hands down.

Arena Mode

I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T STAY ALIVE FOR LONGER THAN 30 SECONDS IN ANY GIVEN ARENA MATCH Haha. I suck at Arena. At this point, I don't like it very much because of that. Maybe it's a working game mode, maybe someone likes it, but I just don't think it's that fun. I always get killed thirty seconds into a round (well, not always, but most of the time. And if I do make it to the end, it's possible that I hadn't killed a single person because I was playing so carefully. Ehh), and since for some reason my team usually loses, I have to sit out the next round.
The spectating doesn't really bother me as long as there's a friend I can watch play, but it does get pretty annoying once all you can do is run out of respawn and get gibbed. Or burned. Or whatever.
Maybe it finally proves once and for all that I'm a horrible player.
Anyway, it was fun for a while - fun enough to stop me caring about the whole sucking at it part - but then it started getting more and more annoying. And it was much more fun on Lumberyard (haven't yet played on Ravine, since I'm now avoiding Arena maps altogether) than on the Arena-fied Granary, Well or Badlands. Maybe because Lumberyard was specifically made for Arena, the rest are the same old maps, just... Arena-fied.

Maybe it's just not my cup of tea. And my two cents: they should maybe remove crits from Arena on default. Because it does get kinda frustrating when you get out of respawn, run to the central area and get gibbed by a crit rocket from a Soldier who hadn't fired even a single rocket before that. Yeah.
Kritzkrieg should work, though.

But Lumberyard is awesome! I love the grass.

Other updates

Increased The Kritzkrieg's uber-charge rate bonus from 10% to 25%

THANK YOU. Now I might be using the Kritzkrieg more, since it was... face it, it IS pretty useless most of the time. D: Now that the charge is so much easier to get, the uselessness of the charge itself doesn't hurt that much. I should try to use the Kritzkrieg more on clear attack/defense maps like Payload maps and Dustbowl and Gravel Pit, since it is pretty useful on defense when you don't have to go against sentries, and sometimes crits make clearing a point easy as pie.
And people have actually started using Kritzkriegs because of this: at least I've seen them around so much more than before the update. Which I think is cool, as long as the Medic knows how and when to use it.

And this next thing is not update related, but something I just wanted to talk about:

Weighted Companion Cube Soccer

As seen, for example here.

I hadn't even heard about this game mode before, but Slaver told me about it and we went to try it out almost instantly. It's lots of fun! I haven't played any of these strange "party modes" before, since I stick so much to official maps, but at least the Soccer is tons of fun.
So the game is ... well, it's soccer. Weighted Companion Cube is the ball, and you need to shoot it to "kick" it. And you need to get it in the enemy team's goal in order to win the round. The Cube radiates health and ammo (like a Weighted Companion Cube should <3), but there are usually no ammo pickups, and only one medium medkit between the team's goal poles, so you need to either salvage dropped weapons, or, better yet, stay close to the Cube. Which you need to do in order to score a goal.
The mode really requires some teamwork, it's nearly impossible to just push through by yourself, and if you just concentrate on killing others, ignoring the Cube, you'll lose pretty fast.
I don't know, but the cube seems to fly farther if you hit it with a crit. I don't know if the damage your weapon normally does has any effect on the "kick," but it would seem that strong projectiles like rockets and bombs make it go farther than, for example, shotgun shots do.
I didn't do any goals, but I had fun.
And it IS lots of fun, even without getting into fundamentals, and I highly recommend it to anyone who's getting bored of the same old capping business.

And then on a completely unrelated note, I finally got the Axtinguisher for Pyro. And after that my Arena adventures took a turn for worse since I started fooling around with it, trying to set people on fire and then hit them with the axe. No, didn't kill anyone. Haha.
Also broke Soldier's most points record on Steel (and once again, the very second I wander away from Newbies Only servers, I start owning. Maybe the latency really does that much, or maybe it's that everyone else just plainly sucks outside of Newbies Only. Haha. I found a random 24/7 Steel server, owned, got a most points record, dominated half of the enemy team and ended up on top of the scoreboard with a score of 130. Only Sonneteer was above me, as Medic. So, yeah), and got a new most points and kills record for Demo, like I told you.
And I even played more as a Sniper, on Gold Rush, and I was doing fairly good! I got owned by the enemy Sniper, but he was the scoreboard leader, so, yeah. Well at least he never got to dominate me, so it could've been worse.

And I can't wait to get the new damn computer.

And haha, now I'm heading out to try and own my little brother in-game: I told him about the Free Weekend and he replied dismissively something along the lines of "well... I MIGHT play if I have the time..." And now he's saying that he's played for like ten hours, and that the game is damn addicting. Well, duh. And apparently he's been trying out Soldier and Scout as well, so he hasn't been just being a pain in the ass Sniper.
So, here's to hoping he hasn't got too good at it yet, I can take advantage of his weaknesses and dominate him fair and square. Haha.

More Heavy stuff

So it would seem that the rumours were right and the Heavy gets a new minigun that does less the damage, but slows down enemies on hit. Natascha, she is called (and if I were Sasha, I'd be jealous. Poor Sasha).

But what I really like to comment, are some of the achievements, which finally got descriptions. Sure, most of them were easy to guess by file names, and there weren't really any big surprises. Several Medic-related indeed, so I'll be working with Heavies next week.
What I don't want to see, is someone trying to get Soviet Union and telling me to GTFO. Okay, if you want to be an idiot and don't want me to heal you, don't even think I'll be there saving you when you're on fire and dying. The only people I don't heal on default, unless they yell for Medic, are Spies, because I don't want to accidentally blow their cover. And that's not gonna change. I give you healings, whether you want it or not!
Or starting to taunt in the middle of an über to get Photostroika. Okay, sure, if we're steamrolling or there simply aren't any other enemies around, it's not that I've never launched a useless charge before, but if we're pushing for the Dustbowl's last point and my Heavy starts taunting... I'll ragequit for sure.
Even bigger DO NOT WANT TO SEE, is someone trying to get Redistribution of Health when I'm around.

Bitch, if you be stealing my medkit...

More Medic content to come? In MY TF2? It's more likely than you think!

Badwater Basin, the new Payload map was revealed last night. I am intrigued, it would seem like nice deviation from the Dustbowl-esque Gold Rush, and I'm definitely looking forward to getting to play a game on it.

But that's not why I post, because I'm finally about to post some real actual CONTENT in this blog apart from personal gaming experiences and commenting on news everyone already knows about. YOU MAY NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT THIS YET, GASP. No, it's not exclusive info, this comes straight from TF2Chan, which I frequent like the little faghag that I am.



So, an interesting little fact came up when someone emailed Valve about the removed broken "Oktoberfest!" Medic taunt.

I don't know if you are aware, but some time ago someone found another medigun taunt from TF2 GCF. It was broken, so someone fixed it and made it work in-game (...an awful lot of "someones" here...), and I believe it was on Youtube as well (oh, here it is). Later on the taunt was removed in a patch, which made us all sad, because we had grown to love the crazy medigun-huffing Doctor.

So, Robin Walker responded to the question about reinstating the taunt with

"The reason we removed it was because we weren't done working on it, and had never intended to ship the content behind it yet. It's still coming, and when it arrives, it'll be even neater than what you've seen so far."

The rest is open for speculation, and oh my. New Medic content? Could it be?
This is also quite interesting in the light of the rumoured Heavy unlockables: if the Heavy really does get a healing sandwich to taunt with, could it be that this new Medic taunt would heal the good Doctor as well?
Oh how do I love speculation.

You can expect me to blog every day until next Tuesday...

So, like every self-respecting TF2 player already knows, the second part of the Heavy update came out last night (my time). They revealed the fists unlockable and the achievement names (which are as punny as always, and funny as hell. LOL COMMUNISM).

Since I don't really play as Heavy (and won't start because of the update, not yet at least, but more on that later) I won't get into commenting the Killing Gloves of Boxing (and there are rumours already about the remaining two unlockables: apparently a new minigun that sacrifices some of the damage it causes to slow down the enemies it hits, and the shotgun is going to be replaced with a sandwich you can taunt with to get some HP back), but the achievements are somewhat relevant to me, as I plan to be going exclusively Medic after the update hits Steam (because joy! Fatties! Everywhere! I'm going to have a field day! Then again there are bound to be endless swarms of noobish fatties who tend to get on my nerves most of the time, but I'll do my healing job anyway, I'm just not going to stick), and some of the achievements seem to be Medic related.
So I'm planning to be sticking to any friend who's trying to get the achievements (without getting into farming and thus acting like an idiot), Sonneteer already has reserved an appointment with me. And since WE MAKE GOOD TEAM anyhow, I'll be happy to help. And if Slaver's going Heavy and needing assistance, he probably knows where to ask.

The achievements don't yet have any descriptions, but checking the file names gives most of them away. The Heavy is going to be getting a sandwich of some kind (making the rumour about the shotgun unlockable more legit) because one of the achievements is about eating sandwiches, and apparently the POW! taunt will go Hadouken, and be an instant kill after the update. That's cool, I just hope that every class would have an instakill taunt, but since Medic didn't get one, and I can't see how, for example, any of the Soldier taunts could kill anyone, I'll probably have to settle with the fact that not every class is going to get one (Demoman maybe: the Burp of Doom? Scout's BONK! taunt could also be worked into a kill taunt, and Spy's Cornish-game-hen-gutting knife-fencing as well).

But yeah, I'm just gonna sit tight and wait until they reveal the new Payload map and the new game mode (there are rumours regarding that as well, and it appears that the new mode could be a Deathmatch of sorts, which doesn't make me exactly happy. The community seems to be rooting for The Hunted, me included, but I'm afraid that won't be the case) and the new special Meet the... video. I'm giddy about the Payload map (now if we could only get another map like Dustbowl I'd be on cloud nine), and I'm just hoping that the new game mode won't be a complete disappointment.

There also seems to be something that could be a small easter egg concerning the inevitably upcoming Spy unlockables: in the icon for Spyalectical Materialism, it seems that the Spy is holding a revolver, equipped with a suppressor.
Interesting indeed. I am kind of hoping that the Spy would get the next unlockables, and it sure seems like it would be the case. I'm still wanting to learn to play as the Spy, but find myself chickening out, because it's near impossible to stay alive as a Spy these days: everyone's so familiar with all their tactics. And it'a not the constant spychecking or babysitting Engineers or any of that: most of the Spy tactics are just common knowledge these days, and any decent player knows how Spies act or at least strive to act.
Of course most of it is indeed because I suck as Spy, not because the Spy is underpowered or anything: I see from decent to downright awesome Spies wreak havoc every time I play, but sometimes I see even them whining how it's getting harder and harder to survive because everyone knows what they're up to. I don't want the Spy to be buffed, or made easier to play for people who are trying to learn the class, because part of Spy's charm IS the tough learning curve and the fact that not everyone can be good at it from the get-go, but... something to help him a bit would be nice, from the viewpoint of someone who's not a secret agent extraordinaire.
Yeah, I should be careful with what I wish for: Spies are a total pain in my butt whenever I'm an Engineer, and if they get too much help, well... my days of laid-back Engineering are pretty much over, haha.
Just my two cents.
And as much as I want the Soldier, Demoman or Engineer unlockables, I think Spy needs them much more than anyone else.

I kinda wish my little brother would buy his own copy of Team Fortress 2 (or at least take part in the next free weekend), because that would be a great incentive for me to pick up Spy. Because I know how he plays, and that's how I could own his ass, and drive him into paranoia (and teach him a thing or two about Spies: he practically never checks his back). Heh.

In other news, I'm finally getting back to somewhat regular gaming schedule, it's just that I'm playing on my own computer now, and thus suffering the crappy fps. Which is the main reason for NOT playing as Heavy: I simply can't. Sure, I can shoot at people and score some hits and kills, but what bothers me is that the game gets a fucking seizure every time I try to turn around very fast, which means that anyone attempting to circle-strafe me kills me, no exceptions.
The difficulty of fast 180 degree or even 90 degree turns is the worst thing that bothers me about the low fps, no matter what class I'm playing as. It's just that I don't necessarily have to turn so fast as any other class but as the Heavy. Sure I like to check my back for Spies after every wrench hit while I'm upgrading or repairing my sentry, but I can live without it, and I'm a twitchy Medic, checking around me all the time, but at least I don't necessarily have to do anything else (like shoot) while I do that, so it makes it a bit easier. And as a Soldier circle-strafers are not as big an issue as they are with Heavy, for some reason, so I can still make it as a Soldier, somewhat.
But once I got used to the crappy fps and the game getting seizures in bigger firefights once again... it's not that bad. It's a serious handicap, sure, and I'm not doing nearly as well as I was with the good framerate. Right now I'm once again one of those Soldiers who can only kill stuff with crockets, haha.
But at least I can still rocket jump, which I've started to abuse hardcore. Killed five attacking people on Gravel Pit's cap B one night just by firing at them from the roof (I love it how people just don't look up), and I'm starting to like Badlands again, because the spire cap point is awesome as hell to jump to and kill everyone - whether they were trying to attack or defend - on it before even landing. Same with Gravel Pit's cap C (except a server regular scored the most awesome kill ever against me a few nights ago: gibbed me while I was flying. That was so bleeding awesome I didn't even feel bad for dying. I don't think I've ever congratulated anyone on killing me before - not that it's hard, or anything - but he completely deserved that. And it wasn't a fluke, he just said he wasn't sure if it would hit. I wish I could've seen myself, it must've been so awesome). And Granary's middle point.
Also, constant rocketjumping gets me killed so much it's not even funny. My kills/deaths ratio has been horrible lately. Medics still hate me (I know I'm not worthy of your constant attention but HEAL PLZ you insufferable amateurs! And dammit if having a Medic doesn't make a difference: thanks Sonneteer. Sonny? Ha, I like that, can I call you Sonny?), so I'm running around with less than 100 HP almost all the time. Especially since I do jumps that I wouldn't necessarily have to do, but dammit I like to take shortcuts and sneak up on enemies from where they don't expect me to appear. Yeah, I know, it's supposed to be the tradeoff, but that's why the "MEEEDIIIIIC!"
And at least the low fps doesn't really affect my Demoman antics, although naturally it's harder to get straight hits with bombs (getting better at that all the time!).
Being a Pyro is also much like it was before, except that I can't really do circle-strafing, but I don't even do that very much since I'm trying to get behind enemies' backs anyhow, at which point top-notch circle-strafing doesn't really matter. I hadn't played as Pyro in forever, not since I got the Backburner and decided that it's overpowered (and that was before the nerfing), but now I'm finding the fun in it again. And I should really learn to use the airburst. I always, always forget to use it, and only remember it when it's too late, ie. after I've stepped on stickies, or got hit by a crit rocket or mowed down by an approaching über Heavy-Medic combo.

And I'm probably getting the new computer next month, so that will hopefully spell goodbye for the low fps altogether, and I can go back to not sucking this bad.

But, yeah, you can kinda expect me to blog about the Heavy update until next Tuesday. And after that you can expect to hear about the new Payload map and CP STEEL <3 and the new game mode and maybe some Heavy stuff as well.

I demand more nerfing.

Well well well. Last night I had the best melée only times on a random server with Sonneteer, one of her friends and a bunch of random people (who were awesome and immediately agreed on melee only rules). We melée only-ed our way through several maps and had heaps of fun - well at least I did. Naturally it lead into several interesting records, my max kills as a Medic is 7, and damage dealt about 1,400. My max kills as a Scout is 4, and my max captures as a Pyro is 9 and max points 24, which makes me rage a bit, because it's the same as my Medic record and dammit, I'm trying to keep my "career class" the one with the most points.
Also scored a few achievements, I actually got Sawbones completely out of the blue during a match in CTF Turbine (which sucks, by the way). What's funny is that the enemy players were Scouts at that point, so I got Sawbones by killing Scouts. That's... pretty wtf.
And dammit it feels like such a waste to run around with a full übercharge. And because I kept using the Übersaw (although it's admittedly inferior to the normal bonesaw in melee only matches), I had a full charge nearly all the time. I came pretty damn close to getting Placebo Effect, though (got killed when I was one kill away from it).

And I've actually never heard the "You vant a second opinion? You are also UGLY!" in game before. Couldn't stop laughing after my Medic yelled it after a few bonesaw kills.

I also got lots of progress to Peer Review, since Sonneteer was mostly playing as a Medic, and in the enemy team. She dominated me a few times, though, insane crazy crit streaks, dammit: I get out of respawn, attack her and immediately get critted in the face. So I get out of respawn, striving to kick her ass this time, and again I get critted in the face. And with the annoying fanfare the game informs me that I have a new nemesis.
It was hilarious. Crit magnet, I am.



I also got a few Pyro achievements. OMGWTFBBQ I got completely consciously, and dammit it truly is the most amazing thing EVER to kill someone with a Hadouken. And melee only of course inspires a great deal of taunting, so at some point I got Freezer Burn. And I'm 2/3 through Dance Dance Immolation. Getting Lumberjack goes almost without saying. And all of those lead into this:



Which means that I finally have hands-on impressions about the Backburner's overpowered-ness.
And yeah, I was playing on my own computer for a change, hence the crappy graphics and smaller resolution. Yes, I had the 20 fps handicap. Made the whole melee thing pretty difficult, but at least I got used to it after a few minutes of whining about it (ahaha serious handicap: playing with the Übersaw AND 20 fps, I wonder how well I would've done with the regular bonesaw and on my little brother's computer).

But the Backburner. Is the cutest little thing ever (it has a face!), and also very, very good at one thing: defeating its very purpose. Stick with me. So the Backburner gives 100% crit change from behind. I don't know how flawed the recognition was before the latest batch (which apparently fixed it), but it feels pretty alright: the enemy has to have your back right at you or else it won't work. I didn't even once get crits from the side or from the front, but then again sometimes I didn't get them from the back either. I suppose that could be because of lag, so I won't blame the game being broken. The Backburner also provides the Pyro with a +50 HP increase, and this is where the weapon defeats its purpose.
Valve said, and I quote, "This flamethrower is built for the Pyro who likes to ambush their opponents [...] To aid in survivability, it grants the Pyro an extra fifty health." Which means that the Backburner is supposed to be the ultimate ambushing weapon with the guaranteed crits from the back, and the health buff helping in making a getaway after the ambush.
With the health buff the Pyro has 225 HP, which is more than the Soldier has and only falling 75 HP short from the Heavy. Now add a Medic, and the Pyro has 318 HP - more than the Heavy has normally. The Pyro has no reason to ambush his enemies anymore. What with the flamethrower's damage fall-off reduced, the Pyro doesn't even need the crits to be a total killing machine in close range. And the +50 HP really aids with survivability, because you can just hit and run, and remain almost unscathed. Sure you can still ambush enemies, good for you, it's just that with the Backburner you don't have to. It affected my mentality immediately after I noticed that I could get away with almost anything: I just charged head-first at Demomen and Soldiers, even goddamned Heavies, took some damage, set everything afire (or in Heavies' cases circle-strafed them to death), and ran away to get a medkit or find a Medic and ready myself for the next attack. And dammit it worked, and felt so much more useful than waiting silently in ambush just to get a few crits. I don't think the weapon is balanced if it can be "abused" in such a way.
Dammit, the Pyro was good the way he was, I never felt he was underpowered. Backburner would be a good and balanced weapon if you removed the health buff, because then the Pyro would be forced to go back to ambushing, and the Backburner would be the more effective ambushing weapon with the guaranteed crits, while the regular flamethrower would be more suitable for other confrontations because of the ability to deflect projectiles and thus get right at Soldiers' and Demomen's faces. Now the Backburner is a clear upgrade from the regular flamethower instead of an alternative weapon.

I wish Valve would realise this and remove the health buff. And dammit, this comes from a Pyro player who refuses to use the Backburner from now on, simply because it is ridiculously overpowered (and because I like the airburst).



And that's my 2 cents on the matter of the Pyro unlockables. NERF, VALVE. NERF.

I also played as Engineer a bit (because it's the easiest class to play with my low fps), and I've never randomly left my sentry in a more suitable moment: we were attacking in Dustbowl's third stage, and I saw our other Engineer (the team was whining about "too many Engineers" and I agreed, because when you attack you don't need but one Engineer if he can keep his act together) building his own sentry. I was BORED because I had just sat about five minutes behind my sentry, waiting for some action, so I fucked off to help him build the thing. I figured that okay, if he insists on being an Enigneer, at least his sentry should cover our back in case mine gets taken down, so I better help him with it (and I'm all for "All for one and one for all" attitude when I'm an Engineer, I help my comrades as much as I can, and then rage when they don't return the favour. Selfish fuckwit Engineers are the cancer that's killing my will to play the class).
And while I'm there I see a goddamn übered enemy Demo coming around the corner and starting to chuck stickies at my sentry. So what do I do? Upgrade the friendly sentry to second level, watch it massacre the Demo and his Medic, and then just simply return to my dispenser to put my sentry up again.
Damn. If I hadn't left I had probably died, because I'm still stupid enough to stay and hope that the Demo wouldn't kill ME too. And my colleague's poor little first level sentry would've probably been goners as well. I would've lost my dispenser AND my teleporter exit which kept our team pushing mercilessly. And we would've had to fall back.
And this, gentlemen, is why I was an MVP on Dustbowl's third stage, playing as an Engineer in BLU. I've never seen an Engineer being an MVP in the attacking team on third stage. And most of my points? Teleports. The main reason I even build a sentry was to protect the teleporter exit, I didn't really care if I got any kills (didn't, really, I got maybe three or four), as long as the sentry kept enemies from charging at us and destroying the teleporter. And at least we won, so it must've been a successful effort.

I'm thinking of going Strictly Engineer for a day.

Oh, Soldier...

Forget everything I whined about the Soldier, turns out I can still play as one, and do pretty good. Yeah, sure, I suicide more often than not if a Pyro charges right at me, and it pisses me off, but... oh well. At least I'm somewhat more conscious about Pyros now.
Also did probably the most awesome kill I've ever done on Badlands. There was an enemy Demo trying to cap their spire back, and I was just getting out of respawn. So just before the point was capped, I rocketjumped from the ledge, fired a rocket at the Demo while I was still airborne, and landed right in the middle of the cap point just as the Demo exploded into gibs. And I got a domination out of it, because I had killed the player before while he was still playing as a Spy. I'd love to show you a screenshot, but my F5-fu was too slow and I only got a screenshot in which I've already landed and there are giblets everywhere. Besides, the said screenshot is on my little brother's computer. But I'll show it to you once I get my hands on it.
Anyway, I just couldn't stop grinning after that. And a mere moment later the round ended, we won, and I was the number one MVP.
So much about not being able to play as Soldier anymore. Sorry about whining, Soldier, I think I still love you, even with all the nerfing and everything.
I should learn to use the shotgun, though. I don't know why I can use the shotgun as a Pyro, no problem, but as a Soldier I use the shotgun very rarely, if ever.
And godDAMN I hate skilled Pyros who can already use the airburst like it's always been there.

I also got the Flare Gun for Pyro (I got Weenie Roast, Fire and Forget, Spontaneous Combustion and Firewatch since the last time I wrote), but it doesn't really matter because I like the shotgun so much more, and I'm not going to give it up. Besides, I have a horrible aim, I'm laggy, and I have hard time hitting distant moving targets even as a Soldier, so I probably wouldn't even hit anything with the Flare Gun.

And finally I have hands-on impressions about the Kritzkrieg and the Übersaw.
Kritzkrieg is... well, I'll just have to learn to use it. And find people who I can give the charge to without them just rushing out guns blazing and thinking that they're still invulnerable (which is what I usually do when I'm kritzkrieged...). And I felt pretty stupid kritzkrieging a Backburner-equipped Pyro, but at least the havoc we caused was formidable.
And naturally there was some Heavy player yelling for Medic and after seeing that I was holding the Kritzkrieg, he started whining how Kritzkrieg is completely useless, hey Medic change it to normal medigun, and goddamn I raged. "Your ass is useless," I wanted to say. Don't fucking question what I'm doing. I think I'm a pretty good Medic (and at least the stats don't argue against me: yesterday, whenever I was a Medic, I was on top of the scoreboard. No exceptions.), and I dare to claim that I know what our team needs and when we need it. We were in Granary, pushing for the last point (oh I wonder how we managed to get to the last point with just the "useless" Kritzkrieg! Shut the fuck up if you don't know what I can do, and you weren't there to see how me and a Pyro cleared the entire warehouse a couple of times and capped the point), and yes, there was a sentry, but everyone knows that all it takes is a Demoman or a Soldier to take down any sentries near the last point (if I can do it, any Soldier with half a skill can do it!). There is no need for the regular über: the Kritzkrieg, if used well, can make more of a difference by killing every single player guarding the point, after which the sentry is left unattended.
So if you get killed just because I didn't have the über to give to you, fuck off. What makes you think I would've übered you anyhow? Heavies are useless against tanked sentries in the distance, I would've much rather picked a Demoman to do the job.

But yeah, I totally admit that Kritzkrieg is useless in some situations. When there are a lot of sentries (I wouldn't use the Kritzkrieg if we're attacking on Dustbowl - at least), sure, I'd pick the regular medigun. You just have to know when and how to use it. Which I'm planning to learn. And it's not that I can't change weapons during respawn if the situation changes so that it isn't favourable to use the Kritzkrieg anymore. And I think a team with two Medics one of which is holding the Kritzkrieg and the other the regular medigun, can be extremely successful.

And the Übersaw? Less-than-three. I tend to forget all the time that hitting with it once charges the übercharge meter by 25%, so I was mighty surprised after killing a Spy with it and then sporting a full charge, even after I had just übered a mere moment ago. Lolwut. I might have to learn to melée a bit better, I usually attack with the Blutsauger. Which keeps even those monstrous Pyros at bay and it's wonderful. <3

I even got a max übercharges record yesterday; managed to stay alive during an entire Gravel Pit round (if my team can hold B, I can usually stay alive for the entire round - and keep most of my team alive as well) and launched five übers during that time. I have to thank our Engineers for that, though, a dispenser on the point saved my life so many times (since I was the only Medic in the team). Damn flame damage drop-off removal. Nothing's more awesome than seeing your life drop close to zero and reaching a dispenser when it's down to six or so. Ehh.

And people, if you got headshot yesterday by me and I was doing the kukri taunt in the deathcam, it was not me. Little brother was on a roll in Granary, and taunted after every single kill he got. He even had the nerve to do it while in flames and about to die. I know I'd be raging my head off: I hate good Snipers, and I hate it when people taunt after they've killed me.
But seeing someone else ("me") do it, was priceless. I was laughing my ass off. And the kukri taunt is so priceless, oh god... I hope people at least got nice deathcam shots outta those taunts.
The only thing I'm trying to stop my little brother from doing, is using teleporters. He seems to be a compulsive teleport-user, whenever he sees one, he just gets on it and I try to stop him because for fuck's sake, Snipers don't use teleporters. D:
And since no one knows that Sniper-Chrome is not me, well... everyone must think that I'm an asshole Sniper. Yay? Maybe I should get him to change his nick when he's playing (I would've made him do it already, but I can't remember the console command, and I never remember to look it up). To avoid confusion. And to stop people from thinking that I'm a complete asshole and actually a pretty good Sniper (he was called a "monster" a few days ago and told to GTFO of the "newbie" server. The whiner probably wasn't a regular...).

Whoo-hoo!

HOORAY! Who cares about being a stupid overpowered Pyro or a suicidal Soldier, I'm back to being a Medic! Because I finally have the Kritzkrieg and the Übersaw!

Valve ILU.

Pyros! Every-fucking-where!

Okay, the only way to stay alive on TF2 now is to be a Pyro. At least that's the only way I can stay alive right now. Fight fire with fire, you know.

And I can't believe how much I actually nerd RAGE'd after realizing what Valve had done to the Soldier. I read the update message, "Removed Soldier's 40% damage reduction from his own rockets. Does not affect rocket jumps." but I didn't even realise (or think about) what it actually meant until I connected to the server today, saw the amount of Pyros and went Soldier. Because hey, at least before the update I was learning to kill them.
And guess what?
Nearly all my deaths? Suicides. If it wasn't some Pyro chucking my rockets back at my face (thank god nearly everyone is using the Backburner already, but more on that later), it was just me, playing like I've used to, and getting owned. Fuck, I'm so used to just shooting at my feet when a Pyro or a Scout or anything gets too close for comfort, and taking some damage but walking out alive. Now if I do that, I die. Not even mentioning the times my aim is a bit off and I shoot the goddamn wall in front of me and get a crit rocket in the face. Now such mistakes are an instant kill. It will probably take me forever to learn to jump whenever I shoot a rocket close enough to get damaged by it too (it apparently counts as a rocket jump then, I had to do some testing by shooting a wall in front of me while jumping, and I got the same old 40% reduction instead of the full damage of about 80 HP).
And imagine how much that must suck from the viewpoint of the player who was chasing me? They get NO points from chasing me down and actually making me suicide - which is not even their fault, but my own. I think that's kinda horrible. I know, because later on I was playing as a Pyro and a friend was a Soldier in the enemy team, and he was mercilessly dominating me. And after I had tried to kill him a dozen times, always getting owned, I finally managed to kill his Medic and chase him down and fuck me dead: he suicided. And I almost banged my head against the keyboard, because so much for my long-pursued revenge.
So at least Valve needs to do something about that, because it's downright unfair.
And if Demomen don't get the same fucking nerf I'm going to rage some more. Fucking unfair.

Okay, yeah, no one's going to agree with me on this, seeing how everyone else thinks that the Soldier is overpowered, the easy class that doesn't need any skill to be good at, and that it needs to be nerfed hardcore. It took me actually ages to learn to play as Soldier. Maybe it's easy to pick up by someone who has years and years of FPS experience, and be good at it, but I had to learn. And I've had fucking great times playing as Soldier. And it's not the easy class for me.
But yeah, Chrome vs. rest of the TF2 community. Valve did what they thought is for the best, and I want to understand, but it's pretty hard when one of my favourite classes is now nearly unplayable for me. And yeah, I feel quite horrible for whining about this, especially since I've been all "I wish I knew how to quit you!" with Soldier for the longest time. But yeah, it's a complete love/hate relationship. And it doesn't matter what I say, I have over 80 hours as a Soldier, I find myself going Soldier even when I think I shouldn't, so on some level I really must like playing as Soldier.
So I can still feel upset because of it, can't I?

But yeah, Pyros.
I'll just come out and say that Backburner is overpowered as hell. I mean ffs guaranteed crits from the back and +50 HP increase?! I know the tradeoff is supposed to be the lack of the airburst (which, I admit, is fucking awesome, and makes me think twice about starting to use the Backburner), but because the airburst is new and I rarely even remember to use it, Backburner just seems like an upgraded OLD flamethrower that has no drawbacks.
They could do without the +50 HP increase, for real. Both Slaverstrike and my little brother who played as Snipers today noticed that Pyros are fucking impossible to kill if they have the Backburner equipped. 225 HP is just insane. And when I did play Soldier, I am so used to juggling them into the air once, and the second rocket usually killed them. Backburner-equipped Pyros? Fucking unstoppable. Add a Medic and they're seriously invincible. So I needed to juggle them twice, which meant shooting at my freaking feet twice, which usually meant a suicide.
Flare gun seemed to correspond better as an alternative to the shotgun, and I actually didn't have anyone kill me with the Axtinguisher, so I can't really say anything about that. Only the Backburner seems a bit unbalanced, but, uh, I'll probably love it once I get my greedy little hands on it. Maybe I'll become a career Pyro. I mean, I was doing pretty fine without the changes (was I the only one? I never really thought the Pyro was underpowered, even against Soldiers. I died a lot, but once I adapted the kamikaze mentality - that I ambush and I might die, but it's okay - I came by pretty well as a Pyro. Maybe I was the only one.)

At least I was doing pretty well as a Pyro today.



And that was the first time in ages I actually had some fun on CP Well. (Oh! That reminds me, I need to talk about CTF Well once I've said everything I need to about this Pyro stuff!)
I even got some achievements. I have Camp Fire, I Fry (and here I was thinking that there would be no Spies around, what with Pyros having a field day...), Burn Ward, Next of Kindling, Hot on Your Heels and Second Degree Burn. I'm also 13/15 through Fire and Forget, 8/10 through Spontaneous Combustion and Trailblazer, 15/50 through Makin' Bacon (and here I was thinking it would take forever... I would have at least 20 Heavies in this, but more on that in a moment...), about 25/50 through Arsonist (ahihi I dominated one Engineer, and he provided me with at least eight destructions: poor thing had always put a teleporter, dispenser and a level one sentry down when I came around the corner, and the whole little nest succumbed to my flames like a house made of paper), 250 through Firefighter/Fire Chief (...I was on a roll), and some others, but they're not yet worth a mention.
I also spent SO LONG on CTF Well trying to sneak behind enemy Snipers and use the Hadouken taunt on them (whoops! Chrome, acting like an idiot? On YOUR server? It's apparently more likely than you think!), but stupid friendly Snipers always managed to kill them right when I was behind them, readying my shotgun. Damn stupid Snipers!
And in one evening, I learned to use the shotgun. Seriously, I probably killed more people with the shotgun today than I've killed in those 30 hours I had as a Pyro. No, really. Too bad that most of those were fellow Pyros (which I used to be very weak against), so I don't have much progress on Combined Fire yet.
And yeah, about Makin' Bacon... I was kinda going crazy on Badlands. I think I killed about eight Heavies with the axe. I imagine them being beyond pissed: one crazy Pyro kept just ambushing them from behind and axing them to death. I even critted ridiculously often against them. But damn it, Heavies are so much easier to kill with the axe than the flamethrower! Usually they don't even have time to turn around before they're dead meat.
And then I realised that the achievement is named "Makin' Bacon" because I have to kill 50 Heavies with the flamethrower, and went aww dammit. At least I had lots of fun. And I imagine my Medic was having fun as well, following me around while I melée-killed Heavies (Medics liked me today).
Too bad that my axe kills record remained as two, I didn't get Lumberjack.

And finally, the regular flamethrower's new airburst. The best thing ever. It took me ages to remember even trying to use it, and luckily I remembered it just when an übered enemy Pyro was rushing at me. One poof, and flying they went. Another poof, and flying they went again. Goddamn, who seriously even needs Soldiers anymore: Pyros do juggling too these days.
Then I once again forgot to entire thing until I saw a crit rocket heading towards me. One poof, and the rocket chenged colours and I couldn't stop going FUCK YEAH THIS IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER! when I saw the crit hit someone in the distance. Ahihihi. I didn't actually kill anyone with returned rockets although I did it a few times after that (I even started to remember using it after a while), but it's always a blast to see the crit rocket changing colours and directions and at least hitting something. I blasted people away from control points and the bombcart in Gold Rush. I saw a Medic/anyone combo approaching and blasted them once before hightailing and trying to get behind them.
I got killed once with a bounced grenade, though. It sucked, haha.

Oh! Yeah! CTF Well! Is actually fun now! I was really surprised when I saw the changes to it, and I was having a blast playing there! The new central area of the map is AWESOME, and the reduced size makes it easier to defend AND attack. I have to say that it's easily much more fun than 2fort has ever been, seeing that 2fort turns into an insane turtling fest nearly always and on Well there was this INSANE battling going on near the central area nearly all the time, because both teams tried to get control of it in order to get easier access to the enemy base.
Or then I'm just so happy that it's almost a whole new map and you probably know how much I love those.

That's about it for now, I think.
And yeah, I'll be playing as Pyro until there won't be as many around as there are now. And until I get over the Soldier nerf, pick it up again and learn to jump whenever I fire a rocket. Dammit, Valve...

Oh yeah! I also wish they would change the Medic achievements to correspond to the Pyro pack, and the Milestones would come at 10, 15 and 20. Because I'm slowly getting pretty sick of still being two achievements away from the Kritzkrieg, and I still refuse to farm any of them. My pride, it is my downfall.
Seeing that the Medic achievements are so much harder than the Pyro ones. Besides, everyone has the Kritzkrieg and Übersaw already, so it would be just me, har har.

And I fucking hope Soldier gets the next unlockables and achievements. Soldier needs some love after all that nerfing.

"Dad? Dad, put mum on the phone."

Yeah, I'm late to blogging about this, so without further ado, some extremely amazing things are heading this way some time tomorrow.
I've been following the news about the update ever since Steam told me it would be coming this week, but for a change I'm being a lazy blogger.

Also, Meet the Sniper, which immediately became my favourite yet (Meet the Soldier used to be my fav). Extremely well-done, seems like Valve kicked it up a notch after Meet the Scout, which was, in my opinion, a bit of a let-down. Demoman's little slapstick act was priceless (nooo, his good eye!), I lol'd at FOAD and the "I think his mate saw me. Yes, yes he did," (bit of Steve Irwin, eh?) and the whole parents thing was hilarious. I also always kinda imagined Sniper as an enormous prick, but whaddaya know, he's a really laid-back (resisted the urge to write "mellow") fellow. He's even pretty charismatic! Outrageous!
And noticing Pyro wielding a new flare-gun-like bright blue weapon that later turned out to be the Flare Gun was a source of much speculation and anticipation. Sneaky, so sneaky, Valve.



Jars of piss!

But! The Pyro update. I'm actually really looking forward to it, especially now after seeing what the unlockables are. Pyro is my fourth most played class with 30 hours, I like playing as one (although I don't play it that often on any other map but Hydro and sometimes CP Well), and I like to think that I'm not entirely horrible at it.
So Backburner is a massive DO WANT for me, since I'm always doing everything I can to get behind enemies' backs whenever I am playing as Pyro. Flare Gun sounds awesome indeed for teasing Snipers and Engineers, and Axtinguisher... well, sure, I want to have one, but I'm more afraid of what it will do to ME when I'm not Pyro. Guaranteed crit when you are on fire sounds... terrible. As if good circle-strafers don't kill me well enough when I'm playing as Heavy!

And sure, as a Pyro player I am really liking the sound of the changes to the regular flamethrower. Being able to deflect projectiles definitely helps a bit with the long range disability that Pyros have been suffering from day one. I mean, Pyro is supposed to be THE close range combat class whose defect IS the fact that they can't fight worth shit over long range, forcing players to seek ways to ambush enemies. Which made especially Soldiers somewhat overpowered against Pyros. Pyros still can't attack over long range (the new Flare Gun being the exception, but the tradeoff with that is the inability to finish off burning enemies), but they can defend theirselves, which improves their chances to survive. Which has been the number one turn-off at playing a Pyro: they generally don't live for very long.
So, excellent.
I also suppose there's gotta be some drawback to using the alt-fire (a few seconds between blows?). Without it all the Pyros would be just running around tapping alt-fire and being basically invulnerable.
/end a Captain Obvious moment.
What doesn't make me happy about the new change is naturally the fact that I play a lot as a Soldier.

Story time: I've told many times how I'm extremely weak against Pyros as a Soldier. I get owned by the BAD Pyros, those who charge right at me from distance rather than try ambushing me. I am never able to actually hit them and a confrontation with a Pyro ended in my death nine times out of ten.
That's how it used to be. Now that I'm only playing with good framerate instead of the sucky 20 (more on that later), Pyros don't actually stand a chance against me. Ever since I started playing with good framerate I can't remember a single Pyro actually killing me by charging right at me (when I'm on full health), and even if they DID kill me (afterburn is a bitch), at least they didn't walk out of it alive.
So I was actually never weak against Pyros, it was my low framerate handicap all along (I never even realised how much the bad framerate actually affected my playing). Now I just hit their feet with a rocket, send them flying, and aim another at where they land, and BOOM. So much for that.
(Btw, juggling enemies is awesome, I was never able to do it before.)
But now they're able to deflect my rockets, so, umm, I'm afraid I'll start getting owned by Pyros (and my own rockets...) again.
And the question is: if a deflected rocket kills the Soldier that had fired it, does the Pyro get a kill or a finish, or is it marked off as a suicide? We'll see.

But back to the Pyro update. It would also seem that Valve learned something from the impossible Medic achievements ("impossible" standing for "impossible to get during normal gameplay without acting like a total dick"), and all the Pyro achievements seem like something that anyone would be able to get while playing normally and doing just what Pyros do. I know it won't stop people from farming the achievements, but at least any achievement-seeking Pyros won't probably ruin gameplay for others.
I figure it will take quite a while to get Makin' Bacon, though, ha ha.

I am also wondering if achievements like Firefighter, Fire Chief and Pyromancer will take your existing stats to account, like Intern, Specialist and Chief of Staff did. Because it would seem that I'll be getting both Firefighter and Fire Chief right away, since I have 1,339 kills as a Pyro. I'm far away from Pyromancer, though, my damage dealt is only at 365,998. Ehh. That guarantees that it will take a good while until I get to enjoy from the Axtinguisher (yes, all the other achievements seem like something that I will and can get sooner or later).

Also OMGWTFBBQ raises an interesting question: does the Hadouken taunt actually do damage from now on?! If, it will be the most awesome thing ever.



And I'm so happy of getting two community-made custom maps wrapped in an official package. <3 I've been playing basically nothing but Dustbowl and Gold Rush for the last month or so (still not getting tired of them), because, you know. All other maps bore the hell out of me. I'd rather watch grass grow than play even a single game on 2fort.
I wonder if Turbine will make CTF fun.

I guess that wraps it up. I don't know if I'll be able to get to play the moment the update comes out (since I believe Valve hasn't given any specific ETA for the update - maybe they're actually learning...), but I am trying to. I don't think I'll be playing as Pyro (and add to the inevitable influx of gasmask-clad, gimp-suit-wearing, flamethrower-wielding pyromaniacs), but I certainly want to try out the new maps. I am itching to start getting the achievements and trying out the new flamethrower, but I think I will wait for the initial excitement to die out, just like I did with the Medic update.

So, "I'm only playing with good framerate instead of the sucky 20." That's right. I've been playing on my little brother's computer the last few weeks. He moved out two weeks ago (I am staying at my parents' house for the summer), so I thought I wouldn't get to play on his computer any more. So I sucked it up and tried playing on my own.
And I found it impossible. All the killing I did as a Soldier was out of luck. Playing as Medic was also nigh impossible with all the twitching: locking onto new targets was a total bitch. Playing as Heavy was completely out of question. The whole thing only made me angry.
So luckily my little brother is the most awesome little brother in the history of ever, and doesn't mind at all if I come over and spend a few hours playing TF2. I thought he wouldn't want his big sis hanging around his new pad (despite the fact that we're kinda close as siblings), but whaddaya know, I was wrong.
Of course there's something in it for him: I let him play Sniper every once in a while, and he doesn't have to buy the game just for snipan gaems. So from now, whenever you see me as a Sniper, it's my little brother.
I naturally can't play quite as often as I'm used to playing, but I'm happy if I can play few times a week with a good freaking framerate, until I get paid enough to buy myself a brand spanking new computer.

I also noticed it's not just my imagination that I'm a much better player with good framerate. I've been playing mostly on a 24/7 Dustbowl/Gold Rush server lately, so I went to check the server's stats at its Gametracker page, and much to my joy I noticed that my points per minute average was 0.75. Yeah, I know, not that good when you think about it, but stick with me. I've been checking my stats on my regular servers every now and then (because I'm a stats whore, you should know this by now) and they've mostly been around 0.4. In fact, my score/min average was around 0.5 on that server the last time I checked (before starting to play on my little brother's computer), so I really did get better. A lot better, in fact.
I'd provide screenshots of my recent awesomeness, but I'm afraid all the screenshots are on my little brothers' computer. Duh. Will show some at a later date.

And now for something completely different:
I've also been playing some Metal Gear Solid 4, but more on that later (this entry is long enough as it is). Long story short: it's made of awesome, I love it, and I'm dying to play it more. I have to play it on my friend's terms (the friend owns the PS3, see), so I've only had a massive eight hours of playtime as of now.

More achievement stuff and general ranting

Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna add one little thing to that last entry: the number one reason for why I won't farm any achievements, even if it costs me the Übersaw.

I don't want to screw up my stats. I like looking at my stats and it's great to feel like I've actually got better every time I break my previous record for kills or healing or longest life or something. So if I suddenly have the highest life measuring in hours and max kills of fifty or something... that would suck. Then I would never again feel like I've got any better.
And yeah, I'm a total stats whore (if you haven't noticed!), I stare at my own stats waaay too often. The stats parser is my best friend. So I don't want to ruin that for me.

I know there's a lot of whining going on about the new weapon unlockables being tied to achievements that basically promote "acting like an idiot" and thus ruining the game for others. With that in mind I am kinda starting to resent Valve's decision to handle the unlockables this way... don't get me wrong, I don't mind the weapons being tied to achievements (and I like getting achievements, I think it's fun), it's just that some of the achievements are, face it, pretty stupid.
Yesterday was probably the first time I actually saw a Medic act like a total idiot. He didn't ruin things for the rest of us (we had two capable Medics to balance him out, but still we were basically playing 11 to 12), but it was still kinda annoying trying to yell for a heal and this idiot just kept trying to kill people and taunt.
Note to self: do not try to get Autopsy Report in the heat of a battle.
Then again, I did something that constitutes as "acting like an idiot" yesterday too, but uh, it kinda had nothing to do with the achievements. I was just being an idiot on my own accord. I DID get some progress for Peer Review for it, but now that I think about it, I have no idea what the hell was going through my mind then. So, Gold Rush, first stage, final checkpoint. I was defending, and I get out of the respawn and saw an übered Demo rushing towards me and up the stairs to get on top of our respawn building. So I followed. And bonesawed the Medic. And felt really good about myself, until I heard "the cart is nearing the checkpoint!" and got killed just in time to spectate as BLU wins the round. Ehhhh. So I could've been there to keep our Soldiers and Demos going instead of chasing down a Demo-Medic combo who were apparently trying to take down our Snipers. A horrible miscalculation on my part. This is why I don't go combat Medic on Gold Rush or Dustbowl or Gravel Pit. I always have better things to do than kill someone.

But yeah, I was about to say that sure, some of the achievements basically tell you to fuck teamwork and be a drag to your team, but face it: some of the achievements cause the exact opposite. Some of the achievements actually make you a good Medic.
For example, Grand Rounds. I see far too many Medics sticking to that one Heavy like they're Siamese twins or something, and nothing annoys me more than trying to get a heal and the Medic is basically glued to some other dude. Especially if I'm playing as Medic too.
Infernal Medicine. I got it yesterday (hee, I got it when I extinguished Slaverstrike), and that really didn't take very long to get.
But both of those achievements made me do my job a little bit better: I tried to heal everyone calling for Medic (except when my primary target was under heavy fire and I deemed it would be more useful to keep him alive than to fuck him and go heal the lone Soldier in the other side of the map - besides, another Medic would probably get him before I do), and I also tried to extinguish everyone whenever they were on fire. Especially other Medics.
And oh yeah, I'm 11 heals away from getting Grand Rounds, so consider that one done.
And First Do No Harm promotes being a good Medic and doing your job (and I find it extremely amusing how most of the people who have farmed achievements don't have this. HAR HAR). As well as Trauma Queen and Group Health and Double Blind Trial and Intern and Ubi Concordia, Ibi Victoria, which are just basically doing what Medics are supposed to do. Big Pharma and Specialist are taking it a bit overboard, but at least trying to get them teaches you to survive and stay alive and keep your healing target(s) alive. Which is what I should be practicing.

So stop whining about the achievements. If you can't get some of them by playing normally, I have to think that you're a rotten Medic, and thus should go back to playing Soldier and stop feeling butthurt about not getting everything on a golden platter. What the hell would you do with Medic weapons if you don't even play that much as Medic?! You having the Kritzkrieg would mean just one idiot Medic more who just doesn't know when to use it!
I know I won't be getting any Demoman or Scout unlockables once they come out, and whine about the achievements being hard. Because I don't play as Demo or Scout. I don't care. Why should you? No wonder you whine about the MMORPG grinding aspects, you are the one making it a matter of grinding.

Also I don't know what everyone's whining about "too many Medics on every server," because I'm playing on public servers and only remember having an overabundance of Medics on two or three different occassions (okay, last night we started a 12 on 12 match on Dustbowl with only Soldiers and Medics in our team. THAT was horrible. I was a Soldier, btw, and got the only Medic with the Kritzkrieg, hee hee). Change servers, kthxbai, it's not that hard! Or talk to the admin about restricting the amount of Medics to the max of two or three.

Rant rant rant. Okay. I'm just getting so tired of basement-dwelling fanboys whining about every single thing. Yes, I do get the irony. Except that I'm not a basement-dwelling fanboy. Sry2say.

And what IS it with these jealous Medics?! Okay, I get it, you want in on the fun and our Heavy buddy is on top of the scoreboard, but Jesus Christ why do you stick to the same guy I'm sticking to, while there are people yelling for Medic in the direction from where you came from?! Sure, I don't mind, you can have the Heavy and I'll go heal the others, but WHOA. First come first serve, I think.
(Btw, if it's points you're after, you get so much more from actual healing than those precious assists, just sayin'.)
And for fuck's sake, Medic, don't heal the same guy I'm healing during the setup! Goddamn these noobs (or idiots, whatever) are starting to get to me.

Sorry, I'm talking a lot about Medics these days. I could tell you about how absolutely fucking scared I am of (good) Snipers, and how I should be playing more as Pyro now that there are Medics everywhere (I did it yesterday on Well and HEE HEE burning Medic flesh, everywhere), but I'll save those stories for later. I think I'm coming to a stop with the achievements pretty soon, so I'll have to come up with something else to talk about.

Achievements here, achievements there...

Just updating on my Medic achievements status, because I know you all must be so very interested about it and practically shivering with antici... pation, wanting to hear how I'm slowly inching towards my ultimate goal, ie. getting the Kritzkrieg.
Oh, but what about the Übersaw? Isn't that my ultimate goal?
And the curt answer is "not really, no" because I am NOT going to farm any of the achievements because I detest that sort of action (the only one I MIGHT get with a bit of co-ordinated help from Slaverstrike or someone, is Medical Intervention). And I'm trying NOT to act like a total idiot on any of my regular servers. I'm a respectable Medic, I am, so I'm not going to über boxing Heavies or Scouts or go out trying to kill people with the bonesaw while holding a full charge or anything of the like. Unless I'm drunk and can indeed quote the Demoman: "I'm drunk, you don't have an excuse!"
I'm going to get the achievements needed for the Kritzkrieg, and I'm going to get them fairly, playing Medic like I normally would. And no matter how long it will take. End of story, bye bye Übersaw.

Anyway, 17/39, got House Call today. I joined the server in full intention to über Slaverstrike, but ended up übering one of my OTHER Steam friends who just happened to play on the same server, and it was just another of my panicky OH GOD I'M DYING I HAVE TO ÜBER situations and he just happened to be there right then. I had planned on übering him as well at some point, to get him included in Family Practice, but, well. That works too. Later on I übered Slaverstrike as well, but I still didn't get but one friend included in Family Practice, and now I have no idea which one of them it was. Well damn. I guess I'll have to über them both again at some point in time. Not that I mind, the other friend is one of the kickass Demomen I've been sticking to lately (we were a destructive, carnage-driven combo on Dustbowl the other night).

What else? I'm about 130 through Grand Rounds, and 50 through Infernal Medicine, so I need just another night of intense Medicing, and those two should be taken care of. I have killed three Scouts for Does It Hurt When I Do This? (would be four, but a damned Engineer meddled with his little pea-shooter and finished the Scout I had been killing. Damned Engineers should stay in kitchen? tanking behind their sentries), and I'm not looking forward to finishing this one any time soon. Scouts are ridiculously easy to kill with the Blutsauger, basically they don't stand a chance unless they crit (which they always seem to do when they're shooting at my general direction, stupid Scouts), or unless they really abuse the hell out of the doublejump. Or if they're smart (and/or yellow-bellied) and run away instead of trying to engage me in a deathmatch.
I also have a grand total of ONE MEDIC killed for Peer Review, and that one I am seriously not striving to get, it would count as "acting like an idiot." Unless it's a one-on-one, kill-or-be-killed situation. This one poor Medic got bonesawed to death on Gravel Pit, we were attacking, dominating, and we had pretty much already got C. Most of RED was dead, and I saw this lone Medic trying to charge the last cap in a desperate attempt to thwart our inevitable victory, so I just followed him and bonesawed him before he even knew what was happening.
Doctor Assisted Homicide, 3/20. I don't even notice when it's happening, I'm not paying any attention to revenges my healees are getting. Btw, if you really want this, I'm a very good target when I'm playing Soldier. Haha. If the enemy team is steamrolling, there's a high chance that half of their team is dominating me (well, not HALF of their team, but a few players anyhow), and usually I get those revenges on people sooner or later, because I'm only a half-bad Soldier. I think Slaverstrike got at least two assist for my revenges while healing me today on Hydro, heh.
I still haven't got Second Opinion though I sure as hell am trying! (Whenever things aren't too hectic, that is, and I'm übering someone who's very close to someone else by chance). I hear it's pretty buggy, and near impossible to get. I don't even have auto heal on, and I've been trying everything, but no. Still not getting it.
Another one is Autopsy Report. What the HELL do I have to do? I haven't tried it but few times (my spirits kinda crashed after I got Blutsaugered to death by an enemy Medic while taunting on top of a Scout's corpse. Damn it, sneaky Medic, didn't see you there), but I've started the taunt right after I got the kill, and I've been standing directly on top of the body, but nooo, I just won't get it. Stupid buggy achievements.

And speaking of my dear Blutsauger, it makes me act like a wannabe combat Medic. I find myself attacking like a nutcase with it, even when I wouldn't need to. So much for "not acting like a complete idiot." But I'm clearly getting better! And I do get more kills than I used to, the Blutsauger is just so awesome.
And this happens on regular CP maps, on Dustbowl, Gold Rush and Gravel Pit I find myself attacking very rarely (ie. only when everyone else is dead and it's kill or be killed, or a Spy tries to cause some mischief), if at all. But on those maps I usually have a buddy, on maps like Badlands or Well it's somehow harder to find a buddy to stick to, and thus I found myself going combat Medic. Hmm. I don't know, but there really seems to be a pattern.

And nothing makes me happier than someone I've been healing before remembering me and going all "okay, you've got me, let's go." Aww. <3 I remembered that Heavy too, we were topping the scoreboard on Hydro a few nights ago. Another one who thinks I'm not a bad Medic yay!

Damn the Blutsauger is one sexy weapon. I'm liking it a bit too much right now. It has saved me in situations in which I would've died with the regular syringe gun, Spies don't stand any change against me anymore (the Blutsauger is awesome for spychecking: even when they're in disguise you can leech health from them and SEE IT) and it's just generally the most awesome weapon ever. I even killed a Heavy with it, hee.
And I completely love it when I dominate some poor player (by assists), who then goes Spy and tries to get a revenge on me, just to end up getting killed by me. Again. <3 Honey, if you need to get a revenge on me when I'm Medic, Spy's the one class that can't kill me as unless you know exactly what you're doing (ie. you can't let me see you. At all. A complete surprise is the only way).
And I'm getting closer to Kritzkrieg. I'm hoping I would get it by playing Medic normally, I don't want to start übering Scouts and melée Heavies and disrupting whatever it is that our team is doing. I'm 16/39 through the achievements, so I only need nine.
And I've got Preventive Medicine and Hypocritical Oath since the last I wrote, both by playing just like I would normally play. Hypocritical Oath came as a surprise, it was Goldrush, second stage, last checkpoint, and I was healing everyone in the reigning chaos. Apparently I healed some Spy as well, then heard one of our Engineers exclaiming about a SPAH and I'm apparently really becoming a goddamn Engineer midwife, because I instantly whipped out the Blutsauger and killed the Spy who was trying to sap the buildings. Got the achievement. Didn't even think about it.
So yeah, this far I've got all the achievements by playing Medic like I normally would. Looking forward to getting Big Pharma (I'm positive I can do it in a completely regular game, my assist record is already 19, after all. I'm counting on Slaverstrike), Grand Rounds (already over 100 into that one - damn it, people, now we want you to spam the hell outta E, so why don't you do it?!), Infernal Medicine (about 30 into that), Doctor Assisted Homicide, Intern, maybe Specialist, Second Opinion, Autopsy Report and House Call. Those are the ones I think that I can get by playing normally.

Also, I'm now trying to get the hang of playing the Heavy. I like being a Heavy, it's just that I suck as one. I have my good moments, today I played a couple of minutes without sucking at all! Didn't waste an über, destroyed some buildings, killed a couple of people, and then got wrenched to death by an Engineer, because my Medic had fucked off somewhere. That bitch. Medics hate me when I'm Heavy. Sadness.
And that's what I need: I just need a patient, persistent Medic who will stick to my sorry ass even when I don't get that much kills. It's pretty hard trying to learn to play as Heavy when I can't even stay alive, because people are firing at me from five different directions and the goddamn fatty is so slow that I can't drag my ass to safety before I'm Swiss cheese.
And then I'm trying to be more careful, which just ends in me being a) backstabbed, b) headshot, c) meléed to death by someone who had easily sneaked behind me or d) crouched behind some corner spinning Sasha and being useless because I'm just waiting someone to come to me instead of me going to them.

But Heavy's going to be my next "I'm Learning To Play This Class!" project. Hey, it took me four hours to not suck completely as Soldier, and almost twenty to be any good as one, so I think I'll just have to endure being a horrible, noobish fatty who's hated by Medics. I have to get the hang of it eventually. Right? Right?
And I need more classes to play as, seriously. I only have four: Medic's starting to be my career class because it's the only class I actually feel I'm good at, no matter the situation, and Soldier's my feelgood class (complete love/hate relationship, btw: as Soldier I just CAN'T BE GOOD, whatever it is that I do. I can top the scoreboard and still feel like I suck, and it bothers me SO MUCH. Did that make any sense? No? Love/hate relationship. I wish I knew how to quit you, Soldier, damn you). Engineer's my "there are no Engineers so I'll be one" class. And I've never been a good Pyro on any other map but Hydro. I gave up on Sniper after four hours of playing, because goddamn I hate Snipers. I don't like being a Sniper, because I know how goddamn useless I am when I'm one.
And I'm still chickening out of playing as Spy, I'm an absolutely appalling Scout and a Demo (and I don't think I'll ever bother to learn to play as either of them, I just can't use Scout's abilities to my advantage and I've always been terrible with grenades, I can never predict trajectories right and my timing simply sucks), and Heavy... yeah.
But no, I wasn't good at any class from the get-go, I shouldn't give up on playing a class after an hour of playtime. Of course I'm a relatively good Medic, I have fifty-four hours as Medic. Of course I at least know how to handle the Soldier with the insane sixty-three hours of playtime as one. I've had my fair share of successful Engineering and Spy-owning in thirty hours. I've played as Heavy for an hour and a half, I shouldn't be so surprised that I still suck as one. Same with Spy: I think Spy has the highest learning curve out of all nine classes, and I have one hour of playtime as Spy. Of course I suck as a Spy!
I just hate screwing up our teamwork by being useless.

I'm also starting to love Demomen when I'm Medic. I'm finding myself sticking to them far more often than I stick to Soldiers, for example. Nothing beats good fatties, but damn, good Demomen are serious harbingers of doom. Today was the fourth time within few days that I've been primarily sticking to a Demoman. And if the Demo knows what he's doing when I über him... the destruction! The carnage! Pipe bombs! Gibs! Sentry parts! Everywhere! It's beautiful. Yeah I admit I'm a total assist whore (but just for the record: I get most of my points from healing, not from assists. I've been on top of the scoreboard with over 20 000 healing and less than 15 assists), but I'm starting to notice that good Demomen get any job done way better than good Soldiers do. The only downside is that Demos are pretty much screwed if enemy gets close enough (laying stickies to their feet does kill the enemies, but they often suicide as well by doing that), and if enemy gets close to my healing target, they usually get close to me too, which makes me screwed as well. Except that with the Blutsauger I now have a tiny little chance of making it out alive, but it's still something I'd rather not go through.
But yeah. I love them Scottish cyclops.

Well, that was easy

Look!


That was ridiculously easy.

Heh, I'm once again playing drunk.

I went Medic a few times, just to see if I could get any of the achievements. And it would seem that the Blutsauger is ridiculously easy to get. I got those twelve achievements without even trying. This far I have First Do No Harm (I had three other Medics in my team, but luckily they all sucked, so I got it pretty damn easily on Dustbowl), Quadruple Bypass, Group Health (without coordinating: like I told you, it would be easy to get, what with all servers being full of Medics), Surgical Prep, Trauma Queen (I have no idea how I got this, I don't even remember staying alive for three consecutive übers - yeah, I AM drunk), Double Blind Trial (easy as heck), Play Doctor (sheer luck, I changed to Medic in the middle of a match in Goldrush and got it just like that), Triage, Autoclave (apparently you don't have to kill five people, it's enough to just light them on fire, at least that's how I got it), Midwife Crisis (the first one I got, very easy), Bedside Manner (I was sneaky: I kept healing a Medic who just joined the server during the setup: he got Surgical Prep, I got this) and Chief of Staff.

So. I have a Blutsauger.

AWESOME.

And now I'll jump on a server for a moment to test my brand new pretty Blutsauger. <3 Didn't have time to actually test it, I'm keeping a cigarette break from playing. I'll try to get the rest of the achievements later. I really want to get the Kritzkrieg (got Kritzkrieged a few times today, again, and it was so GODDAMN AWESOME every single time. Fucking hell...). Slaverstrike already promised to help me to get it, so I'm looking forward to it.

BLUTSAUGER FUCK YEAH.

EDIT: I just got Ubi concordia, ibi victoria. WUT. I was sure that's one of the achievements that I wouldn't be getting in quite some time, but well, whaddaya know. I was steamrolling in Granary again (...why am I this good when I'm drunk, seriously?), got the achievement when I was capping the last point with a kickass Demoman. And I'm apparently already 50/200 through Grand Rounds.
Also, Second Opinion is indeed impossible to get. It's apparently very buggy, I've been trying to juggle my übers the whole night, but I still don't have the achievement.

Goldrush!

So. Right.

Goldrush?

Is love.

I'm absolutely loving the map. I'm still pretty lost on it, I haven't even been to every hallway or used every route, and more often than not I find myself going the wrong damn way. Huge map is huge. The first time I was defending on third stage I ran in circles for the entire setup. I left the respawn, had a Medic stick to me, and a few seconds later I found myself BACK in the final checkpoint area and went completely WTF (I suppose there's a shortcut, just like in Dustbowl's stage three? I followed everyone there, but then turned the wrong way and ended up back in our respawn). And the poor Medic was clinging to me the entire time, haha. I was sure he was going wtf is that goddamn Soldier doing, is he lost or what. Didn't leave me, though. (That Medic was a mystery: he kept sticking to me although I was lost half the time and I wasted a few of his übers, and yet he STILL kept giving them to me). Then I followed the tracks (thank GOD for the tracks) and found my way to the cart after BLU had already capped it, heh.
But yeah, I've only played like four games on Goldrush, and most of the time haven't gotten through second stage. And I've never seen BLU actually win, the third stage's final checkpoint favours defense immensely. It was IMPOSSIBLE to get around the last corner after our offense broke. And it was very easy not to let BLU get through when we were defending, although we won with the cart being inches away from the final checkpoint, heh.
Also I don't understand how captures work on Goldrush. Are the stats broken or something, or do you REALLY get a capture each time you get to the cart and make it move? Not only on checkpoints? I was suddenly getting like five captures/life and was pretty surprised because of it.
The map also seems to be buggy as hell. I don't know if it was the map or what, but I got pretty disoriented at one point when the teams changed and my HUD remained RED even though I was in BLU. And when I got übered, I was glowing red. My crits were red. So most of the time I was firing at my own teammates and getting killed because I kept ignoring the REDs. And I was also pretty drunk at that point, which naturally added to the confusion. Ouch.

And, oh, one of the best parts about the map? The way the announcer goes totally fucking insane on third stage when the bomb is nearing the final checkpoint. Her laugh is priceless. I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it.

I was playing Soldier like I said I would be, changed to Medic only once to get the Chief of Staff achievement (I have over 1,5 million healed, so all I had to do was to change to Medic, get the medigun out, and I got the achievement), and so I can't really talk about the unlockables or achievements yet.
I can talk about them from an outsiders' point of view, though, so here we go: there were actually not that many Medics running around. Four was a constant amount, sometimes there were more and sometimes less (I was on a 24 player server), but I didn't even once have TOO MANY Medics in my team.
And goddamn, yes, I had a harem at times. Hee.
I saw quite a lot of Blutsaugers already. They're not really terrifying, but damn it if I don't want one. There were a few Kritzkriegs (of which I will talk about in a moment), and I even got killed by an Übersaw at one point. I also saw people use the damn console command. A player enters, we get announcements of the said player getting the three milestone achievements, and then he was running around with the Übersaw. Thank god Valve already removed the commands, and I'm seriously hoping they'd find a way to roll back the achievements/weapons that people have got by cheating. I believe it's easier to root out those who have the weapons but don't have any other achievements but the milestones. I'm not bitter, I just think that cheating like that is pretty damn low.

But yes. The Kritzkrieg.
As a Soldier? The Kritzkrieg's THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER FUCK YES. I was defending in Dustbowl stage three when I had a Medic with the Kritzkrieg stick to me, and in mere moments: CRIT ROCKETS. EVERYWHERE. Holy fuck I almost came, that's how awesome it was. I saw enemies starting to scatter in panic once they saw the crits, but there was nothing they could do, because even the splash damage was killing people, and oh god it was A THING OF BEAUTY.
After that, whenever there was a Medic with the Kritzkrieg healing me, I actually started paying attention to them and trying to keep them safe, because yeah, I will do anything to get the charge given to me. I'm a total crit junkie, yes, but dammit, you've got a streak a lucky crits before, right? You know how great it feels? How about ten fucking seconds worth of crits?
YEAH.
IT'S THAT GOOD.
Also, the Kritzkrieg is the most terrible thing ever in the hands of your enemies. A Kritzkrieged Pyro charging right at you? I literally panicked. A skillful Soldier with a ten second crit streak? Fucking terrifying. A Heavy? Even from a significant distance that's gonna HURT. A DEMOMAN? FUCKING EVER-LASTING CRIT STICKIES FGSFDS. A melée combat Medic way too close for comfort? Fuck this shit I'm outta here. As in, goodbye cruel world.
The horror of being face to face with a Kritzkrieged enemy is enough to make you forget that they're not in fact immortal. I didn't even once fire at them, I just RAN and tried to hide, resulting in getting killed.

And then some interesting little observations from yesterday.
So, I am usually playing on "Newbies Only" servers. Not because I'm a noob (the regulars over there are seriously not noobs on any scale), but because I've got to used to playing there. The atmosphere is accommodating, there are no horrible assholes, and all the regulars are pretty nice. Plus they're vanilla servers with only the official maps in rotation. And truth to be told, the skill level of other players is on par with mine, that is to say that I don't get my ass completely kicked all the time, and when I have a good day I'm often topping the scoreboard. The lack of teamwork every now and then pisses me off, of course, but that's what you get from playing on a public server. And I can live with that. I rage, but I can live with it. Heh. The only downside is that I've always played with a ~150 ping, but I've got used to it and I'm doing pretty fine with a high latency like that, so I'm not complaining. At least 150 isn't completely insane.
Anyway, yesterday I was playing on a totally random server. I just randomly picked one from the list, requirements being "vanilla," "24/7 Goldrush," and "an agreeable latency (ie. under 200)." Ended up on a 24/7 Dustbowl/Goldrush server (because you know how much I love Dustbowl), with a latency of 20 or so.
I was quite sure I'd end up being steamrolled because I've been playing with "noobs," and I have NO IDEA how my playing skills match with people who supposedly are not newbies. But I steeled myself and thought that I'd just change servers if that ends up being the case. Or suck it up and try my best.

So as it happens, I'm not being steamrolled at all. Quite the opposite. After the first game in Goldrush I was there in the middle of the scoreboard. But after that, Dustbowl, and I'm topping the scoreboard. For the entire goddamn game.
And I was drinking. So I was at least a bit tipsy, if not outright drunk.
Sure, part of it could be the latency, maybe the other players weren't that great (but I, uh, was dominating all the team-stacking clan players in the enemy team...) or whatever, but it doesn't change the fact that I was fucking owning.
After that round I was on top of the scoreboard even in Goldrush (and I wasn't even familiar with the map yet!), and kept wondering what kind of super Soldier do I turn out to be whenever I've been drinking. Haha.
And like I told you, every other player was NOT a Medic. And I had Medics stick to me, but not all the time.
Here, have a scoreboard screenshot, so you can see I'm not making this shit up:


Yeah.

Anyway. I'm going to play some more Goldrush now. I still have a bottle of wine, so I'll probably find myself going fatty at some point (Medic harem, I want one). Or maybe I'll go Medic and aim to übering Scouts and getting the "assist in bonking three enemies" achievement. Hehee.

I can't stop blogging!

Okay, so I'm apparently going to blog like a nutcase about the upcoming update, but fucking hell I can't help it! News, pictures, videos! In a steady stream! And I'm getting more and more excited with each new thing that I stumble upon!
I think I'm in trouble if Valve Time comes into play and the update won't see daylight in Sunday...

My new favourite thing is this video. (Embeddan gaems! Let's see how this goes...)



First of all, Critskrieg in action! I'm quite disturbed by the un-shinyness of the actual charge. No one's even going to notice there's a critzkrieging going on until they start seeing some Soldier critting nonstop. And that's gonna be horrible with Heavies and Pyros when you can't actually see the crits. All you're going to see is your teammates mowed down. That's going to be nasty.
But yeah, that seemed pretty devastating. Even with the Soldier backing away and reloading at some point, they still killed pretty much everyone there.
(...I'm changing my mind about the Critskrieg again, I might wanna get it after all. If I only could.)

And second of all, and the real reason I can't stop watching the video: Goldrush. I can't WAIT to actually get to play it. That really narrow tunnel after the first checkpoint? Going to be hell. Imagine some critzkrieged Pyro charging the entire escorting BLU team there... and oh man, that map's going to be a real challenge for BLU Engineers. I figure teleporters can make a world of difference after the first checkpoint is cleared. And you'd have to move them up all the time. I wonder how much chaos can one well-placed offensive sentry cause... if an Engie can slip past the defenses... I really wanna see what offensive Engineers can cook up on that map.

Anyway, I just know I'll love Goldrush.

Seriously, people. Christmas.

And Meet the Scout in nine hours on Gametrailers, apparently. I'm actually thinking of staying up to watch it when it comes out. Or then I'll go to bed, have the alarm go off when the video comes out, watch it, and go back to sleep.

Yes, I am that much of a geek.

Also there was an article (which I've seem to lost... no, wait, here it is), where they mentioned that Engineer would be getting some updates too, apparently additional levels to teleporters (shorter recharge time) and dispenser (faster healing).

And uh, I'm going to break my own rules again, but once Goldrush comes out, I'm going to play it first as Soldier. Sorry, me! Because Soldier's safe class, and it's easier for me to get to know the map when I can go where I want to and explore places (I'm a tunnel-vision Medic, I just follow people. I'll never get to know the map that way). Scout would be perfect, but I don't do Scout. I could go Pyro, though, but Soldier's still more reliable for me.

I spam. :3

GodDAMN the Übersaw looks badass. Now I'm back to thinking that maybe I should do the insane grinding to get the thing... just because it looks so awesome.
But ehh I'm not going to bother. I'll get the Blutsauger and that's it.

And dammit, Valve, why is it "Critscrieg" (according to the loadout screenshots), that makes no sense! I'm gonna rage if it stays that way. (The Blutsauger was referred to as "Blutsaugher" in one of the articles, but apparently that was just a typo). Critskrieg, Valve, CRITZKRIEG.

And what is this I read about new classes? Do not know if want.

Medic achievements and unlockables

Okay, right, huge news day.

First the final Medic unlockables were revealed. Then there were actual hands-on impressions about the said unlockables and Goldrush.
And just now, the actual Medic achievements were unveiled.

I've been giddy the whole day, first figuring out if I like the sound of the new unlockable weapons and deciding that I really, really like Blutsauger and want to have it as my new best friend. And now I'm despairing over the fact that I'm going to be lucky if I even get the damn weapon. The achievements are sadistic!

Well, anyway. Cue my long-winded thoughts on the unlockables and achievements.

So like I said, the Blutsauger will probably be my new best friend. I won't even look back at the good old syringe gun once I get my eager little hands on the new bloodsucker. I figure it will support my cowardish Medicing playstyle pretty perfectly.
And I'm probably going to hate the Critzkrieg. I have a hard time staying alive as a Medic, so I'll definitely prefer übercharges over a few seconds of continuous crits but being completely vulnerable. And I'm going to hate it whenever an enemy Medic launches his critzkrieg, as if I wasn't a bad enough crit magnet before!
Well at least I don't have to worry about it too much, because I'll probably never even get the weapon. Ha!
The Übersaw is a bit DO WANT, but first of all it's impossible (for me) to get, and I'm not that badass a combat Medic. I'm not a combat Medic at all (I just lost a Medic vs. Medic bonesaw deathmatch in Gravel Pit yesterday, so...), but even I'd venture out to bonesaw people if it meant getting an über faster. But yeah, never gonna get it.

I was also a bit scared if the new unlockables will screw up the class balance (since Medic is the only class to get new weapons for now), but to me it seems that the unlockable weapons will only support different ways of playing the Medic. Combat Medics will surely appreciate the Übersaw, and those who rather heal people than fight and strive to survive, will find Blutsauger perfect. Critzkrieg is an interesting counterpart to the übercharge, that's for sure, and gives more of a tactical twist to playing the Medic (when to have übercharge, and when critzkrieg? I understand you can change weapons during respawn and in resupply? Just like you'd chance a class), although I can't quite figure how I'D use it to my (or rather my team's) advantage.

And what I find great about the achievements, is that a player who only plays combat Medic will NEVER get the Übersaw of their dreams. Achievements are pretty well balanced, there are some geared towards combat Medics, and some geared towards those who actually do what Medics are supposed to (ie. healing). To get all of the achievements and be worthy of the unlockables, you have to be a well-rounded Medic who's both a teamworking healer and a total badass killing machine. That's awesome, I think.
And I don't think having the Übersaw (or Critzkrieg, and definitely not Blutsauger) tips the balance. Only the real hardcore players will get it, and they will probably play with people who are close to their own level of skill. I don't think I'll be seeing any Übersaws on any of my regular servers...
Yeah, sure, I know, of course some people will get the achievements through setup games, or using bots and keybinds on playtest servers.

I'm not too happy about the slight MMORPG GRINDING aspect this is adding to my cheerful little team-based FPS, but I figure the Übersaw doesn't change the gameplay so much that a team is automatically screwed if the enemy Medic has it, so you don't have to get it to be a good Medic. If you really want it, you'll have to grind, that's how it goes.

And now, the achievements. This is gonna be hella annoying to read, but I'll just repost some of the achievements and add my thoughts.

1. First Do No Harm: Play a full round without killing any enemies and score the highest on a team of 6 or more players.
- Easily done. I don't really kill people as Medic anyhow, so it's easy to just hold myself back if I do get assaulted by noobish Spies. And I've been on top of the scoreboard as a Medic before, so this is going to be somewhat of a cakewalk. Definitely not too hard. With lots of Medics around, though...

3. Group Health: Work with 2 other medics to deploy 3 simultaneous uber-charges.
- I suspect servers will be full of Medics for the next few weeks, so probably you don't even have to coordinate this. Sigh.

5. Trauma Queen: Deploy 3 uber-charges in less than 5 minutes, and assist in 5 kills during that time.
- Tricky, because I can't bleeding stay alive for three consecutive übers. 3 übers is actually my record, that's how long I can stay alive. And it's almost always on Dustbowl Stage Three, playing in BLU. Five assists is going to be very easy. And lol at Trauma Queen, awesome name.

7. Play Doctor: In a team with no medics, be first to switch to medic after a teammate calls "Medic!" and then heal 500 health.
- Oh god, I can imagine the whole fucking team going Medic at once. Sheer luck. Also, a team with no Medics? After this update? HAHAHA OH WOW. Dream on. Will take some time, this one, I figure. :D

8. Triage: Deploy an uber-charge on a teammate less than a second before they're hit by a critical explosive.
- I'll probably get this without even realising it. Or then I'll just keep my eyes open for crits whenever I have a full charge. My crit-magnetism should come in handy, har de har har.

10. Consultation: Assist a fellow medic in killing 5 enemies in a single life.
- I've been assisting some bonesawing combat Medics before pretty randomly, but to stick to one? I wonder where I'll find a badass-enough Medic. I wonder if Slaverstrike can pull it off...

11. Does It Hurt When I Do This?: Kill 50 scouts with your syringe gun.
- I heard there was going to be a "kill Scouts with syringes" achievement and my face went ":D!" because I've actually killed quite a lot of Scouts with syringes (I own Scouts better as Medic than as Soldier...). And then my face went "D:!" when I actually saw that it's 50 fucking Scouts. Right. It's gonna take forever. I have 120 kills as a Medic as of now, and maybe 15 of them are Scouts, 'nuff said.

12. Peer Review: Kill 50 medics with your bone saw.
- And I just lost a Medic vs. Medic melée match. Goddamn...

13. Big Pharma: Assist a heavy in killing 30 enemies where neither of you die.
- SLAVERSTRIKE, WE HAVE SOME BUSINESS TO DO. No deaths. Mindless killing only. Final destination.
Oh I only wish it was so easy and I were that good...

14. You'll Feel A Little Prick: Assist in killing 4 enemies with single uber-charge on a scout.
- I COULD DO THIS WHEN I'M DRUNK. Since I seem to be so fond of Scouts under the influence.

16. Blast Assist: Assist in exploding 5 enemies with a single uber-charge on a soldier.
- Only thing I can say is: MEDICS, don't über ME when you want this achievement.

18. Medical Breakthrough: Assist in destroying 8 enemy engineer buildings with a single uber-charge on a Demoman.
- Seriously, where the HELL can you find a sentry nest like that? D: Even the usually so insane sentry nests on Dustbowl's Stage Two's last point are rarely so large! But yeah, Slaverstrike, you're going to help me with this one too at some point, right? :/

19. Midwife Crisis: Heal an engineer as he repairs his sentry while it's under enemy fire.
- Lol at the name. And as far as achievements go, this one should be a cakewalk.

21. Grand Rounds: Heal 200 teammates after they've called for "Medic!"
- People just need to remember to call for Medics (I actually very rarely call for Medic when I play as Soldier or Pyro. I don't know why, maybe I feel a bit embarrassed wanting to take their time. And I'm afraid they'd stick to me and I'd get them killed, but yeah... I usually head for medkits instead. And now as I think of it, that's really stupid of me, and makes absolutely no sense. What kind of Medic WOULDN'T heal me when I call? And from now on I'll definitely always call for Medics! Help them get the achievement, yes!), and this should be fairly easy to get. At least I always heal everyone in need, I don't stick to just one person unless we're charging.

23. Doctor Assisted Homicide: Assist in killing 20 nemesis.
- Dammit, this would've been so much easier to get back in January when people actually dominated me! I don't really get dominated these days, not as Medic anyhow. I die a lot, but apparently not by the same people, at least not without me getting an assist on them before they can dominate me.
EDIT: And I realised only now that it's possibly assisting in other players' revenge kills, not getting your own revenges. And that makes so much more sense, actually. I'm slow. :nyoro~n:

24. Placebo Effect: Kill 5 enemies in a single life while having your uber-charge ready, but undeployed.
- Oh wow. I've never even killed five enemies in a single life (my record's two, ehh). People are gonna hate Medics when they try to get this. "Alright, I have a charge, I'mma go kill some people now!" "CHROME WE NEED TO GET THIS POINT GET YOUR FULLY CHARGED ASS IN HERE PRONTO - CHROME, THAT IS A PYRO WHAT ARE YOU ... OH FFS." "Hay guise I just respawned lol, let's get that über up so I can try to kill some people!"

26. Intern: Accumulate 7000 heal points in a single life.
- This is going to be another somewhat of a cakewalk. Gravel Pit, RED, good-enough team so that we can hold B, and this should be pretty easy.

27. Specialist: Accumulate 10000 heal points health in a single life.
- If only I could stay alive...

28. Chief of Staff: Accumulate 10 million total heal points.
- HAHAHAHA I HAVE ONE MILLION AND A HALF. I really hope those count towards the achievement.

29. Hypocritical Oath: Kill an enemy spy that you have been healing.
- With my Sixth Spy Sense this should be fairly easy. I want to know that do I have to actually overheal them, or does a quick little heal do the trick?

30. Medical Prevention: Save a falling teammate from dying on impact.
- I'mma just have a friend jump down from Gravel Pit Cap C. Hehe. A Soldier or a Demo, you know, they can shoot themselves until they're veeery low on health, and then they'll jump and I'll just catch them. With the medigun beam, that is.

32. Autopsy Report: Provide an enemy with a freezecam shot of you taunting above their ragdoll.
- I've always wanted to do this! I always forget to taunt ater kills. I've done it ONCE. I was chasing a Scout, who ran into his resupply room, and I fired a crit rocket before the doors closed and I just heard the crit hit and saw a message of having killed the Scout. That's when I taunted. Adding insult to injury, I know how much it sucks to die a feet away from the resupply cabinet (not that it would've helped at all, it was a crit after all...). Evil.

33. FYI I Am A Medic: Use your bonesaw to kill 5 enemy spies who have been calling for "Medic!"
- I love the nod to the Youtube video. But yeah, this is my day job anyhow.

34. Family Practice: Uber-charge ten of your steam community friends.
- I don't even have ten friends on Steam (only eight), but that's actually pretty easily fixed. Circlejerk, I'm looking at you.

35. House Call: Join a game that one of your friends is in and then deploy and uber-charge on him.
- And now I'm looking at Slaverstrike, this is gonna be so easy.

That's a lot of reading.

Anyway, Christmas is indeed coming early this year. I'm still refusing to get excited, because VALVE TIME. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the update comes next week - the earlier the better - but I'm still sceptical. It IS Valve after all.

And here, have a quick Engineer drawing I whipped up at TF2Chan's oekaki board.